Last night was the Oscars, but I was uninspired to watch in real time. However, this morning I went online to catch up and I was stunned to discover that literally 90+% of the gowns fell into one of three categories: black/midnight blue, silver/white/ice blue, and pink. So I'll critique them according to those categories, and then I'll end with the tiny handful of notable outfits that didn't fit into one of those categories.
Black and Midnight Blue
Margot Robbie changed it up from her recent "Barbie pink" red carpet looks in a lovely clinging black gown with an arched neckline and graceful draping across the hips. The fabric seemed to be a tiny chainmail that had a fabulously subtle sparkle and movement. It was simple, but it was spectacular.
Greta Lee wore a backless black halter column accented with a long white drape that went around the front of her neck, fell to the floor, and then was pulled up and attached at each hip. I liked the lines, although I think the drapes would have looked more proportional had they been attached to the hip at an angle rather than straight across, or attached at the waist instead of the hip. But on the whole, a nice look.
Jennifer Lawrence and Leslie Bibb both opted for black flared gowns with white polka dots. Lawrence's gown featured a strapless bodice and a wide shoulder wrap, while Bibb's bodice was halter style that plunged to the waist and was accented with a wide black belt, and her skirt also featured a train. Although I liked both looks, I found that Lawrence's dress was a bit bland, and I loved the softness and flow of Bibb's much better. Also, I adored Bibb's pop of color in a bright red satin clutch.
Lily Gladstone was stunning in a strapless midnight blue velvet column with a short train with silver embroidery. I loved the cobalt blue beading along the neckline, which tied in beautifully with her Native American blue and silver necklace and silver feather earrings. This look was simplicity done perfectly.
Carey Mulligan wore a black mermaid gown with a sweetheart neckline and a scalloped hem skimming a full white tulle bottom, accessorized with black opera gloves. Normally I prefer a touch of color in a necklace with this type of neckline, particularly with a gown that has significant visual weight at the bottom as this one does, but I actually love that she skipped any jewelry. She pulls off the stark elegance of the look perfectly.
Danielle Brooks was stunning in a strapless black satin corset gown with silver cording along the seams and a slit-to-the-waist skirt with a drape around the hips that formed a loop at the left hip then fell to the floor to form a train. It was perfectly tailored to her figure, and her diamond choker, bracelet, and several rings added just the right amount of sparkle.
Sandra Hüller and Eva Longoria both opted for black columns with structural off-the-shoulder "wings. Hüller's wings were a little too sharp and stiff for my taste, although had they been just a hair less extreme I think I would have liked them. I did love her diamond brooch, but this gown was crying out for black elbow-length gloves and a large diamond ring worn over them. Also, her hair and makeup were too understated for such a outre gown. Longoria's wings, on the other hand, were less extreme and had a lovely curved line that was more well-proportioned, and the short train also softened the overall look. I also liked her loose but straight and sleek hairstyle and her slightly longer diamond necklace. The difference is in the details!
Billie Eilish channeled her inner English schoolgirl in a prim white blouse buttoned to the chin under a black blazer and a knee-length plaid black-and-gray woolen pencil skirt, accessorized with slouchy white knee socks, black Mary Janes, and a small black-and-white checked handbag. It wasn't my favorite look, but I'm not generally a fan of Eilish's red carpet ensembles and this is probably one of my favorites that she's worn.
Becky G wore a gown with a strapless champagne-colored corset style bodice and a soft black skirt with a wide front opening and a short train. I loved the angled waistline and the fingerless black opera gloves, as well as her super-shiny waved hair and natural makeup. I didn't love this look when I first saw it, but the more I looked the more I liked and I'm calling this one a hit.
Octavia Spencer wore a black chiffon gown with a spangled black tuxedo jacket with satin lapels. It wasn't a bad look, but it's similar to many outfits she's worn before, and nearly identical to lots of other red carpet outfits we've seen before. Yawn.
Jessica Lange brought all her Southern glamour and charm in a lovely black velvet fit-and-flare gown with slightly flared long sleeves, a sweetheart neckline, and a short train. It was simple, elegant, and flattering.
Jamie Lee Curtis also went with simple in a black fitted gown with a round neck, 3/4-length sleeves, and a slightly flared skirt with a train. I loved her wide gold cuff bracelet and her perfectly coiffed hair. A great look.
Issa Rae's black gown had a broad v-neck that plunged to her waist and tucked into a wide sash, and her skirt was slit up to the waist. Although I liked the concept, I wish the shoulders had been just a bit narrower, and a lower chignon rather than a high topknot would have flattered her a little more. But I did like the look on her.
Laverne Cox wore a gown with a gold lamé plunging bodice that revealed the high waist of the black mermaid skirt, accessorized with a long black chiffon scarf wrapped across the neck. I loved the silhouette and the concept, but the bodice rode a little too low and the peep of black in the center of the bodice broke up the graceful lines of the bodice seaming. Add another inch at the top of the bodice and cover up the peep of black and this look would be wonderful.
Fran Drescher looked elegant but businesslike in a fun criss-cross patterned black column topped with an angle-fronted black bolero jacket. I loved her bouffant hair, dangling diamond earrings, and her adorable black handbag. Cute but classy.
Annette Bening wore an Asian-inspired midnight blue beaded pantsuit with loose, wide-legged trousers, a jewel-neck tunic top, and a sheer silver-trimmed duster. It was pretty, and she certainly looked comfortable, but the overall bagginess and multiple layers felt a bit frumpy and overly casual.
Jodie Foster hit it out of the park in a midnight blue satin sleeveless column with a boat neck, a long ribbon cascading from the neck, and silver spangles from waist to hem. It was simple but elegant, and she looked absolutely stunning in it.
Kelly Ripa wore a sheer black textured fit-and-flare gown with narrow straps and a fabulous fan-shaped train that attached at the waist, and which Ripa knew how to use to her advantage, flipped and flaring it like a flamenco dancer. Fun and fabulous!
Vanessa Hudgens' demure maternity gown featured a turtleneck, extra-long sleeves, and a short train. Although I loved her diamond necklace and earrings, the look was bulkier than it needed to be. Three-quarter-length sleeves and a jewel neck would have relieved the heaviness of the look quite a bit, or even a softer charcoal gray to add some visual lightness would have helped a lot.
Camila Alves wore a fitted black off-the-shoulder column with a silver inset at the top of the bodice. I loved the shoulder drapes, the long black gloves, and the small puddle of train, but the silver at the top of the bodice blended in with her skin which made the bodice look like it was too low or falling off. A tiny line of black piping at the top would have been a nice addition. I did love her y-shaped diamond necklace and diamond cuff bracelet, although her hair felt a little too untamed and casual for such an elegant gown. I would love to have seen her hair either straight and sleek or in an elegant updo instead.
Rita Moreno paid tribute to her recently-deceased long-time friend and friendly rival, Chita Rivera, in a slinky black gown with a froth of ruffles at the neck and cascading down the front of the gown, accessorized with black opera gloves and a short black pixie wig reminiscent of Rivera's cut and color. She looked amazing and it was a lovely nod to Rivera.
Mary Steenburgen went sleek and simple in a strapless column with a single rectangular gold buckle at the top of the bodice, accessorized with a small gold evening bag and natural, simple hair and makeup. It was pretty but not especially memorable.
Silver, White, and Ice Blue
Emma Stone wore a strapless column of white-on-white brocade with a large, flared peplum and a short train. I didn't love the peplum; I wish the fabric had been a little softer so the flare was a little less extreme, but even so, Stone carried it off well and it was a nice look for her.
Charlize Theron wore a white satin slip dress with a surplice (crossed) bodice front. It was not a great color on her, and somehow looked droopy with her tightly pulled back hair and multiple chokers. A pastel chiffon scarf (similar to the one Laverne Cox wore) would have improved this look significantly.
Kirsten Dunst's white column had a very square neckline with tiny straps that reminded me of
Anne Hathaway's much-maligned blush pink gown from the 2013 Oscars (a gown which I personally loved, for the record). It also reminded me of an apron, due to the "bib" effect created by the open sides of the bodice. If there had been more angle to the straps or more shape to the top of the bodice, it would have improved the look, but as it was, I was not a fan.
Michelle Yeoh looked amazing, as always, in a sparkly metallic silver wrapped gown with a rosette at the top of the bodice, a narrow double train (coming from the hem of the dress as well as a separate panel), and black opera gloves. I particularly loved the angled notch at the front of the hem and the double train. So powerful, yet so feminine.
Da'Vine Joy Randolph looked exquisite in an ice-blue sequined halter column with a long chiffon train and fluffy, feathery arm details. I might have trimmed down the size of the feathers just a hair, but Randolph has the presence to carry it off, and it was a lovely look on her.
Florence Pugh wore a silvery-white gown with a structured, heavily beaded vest-style corset with a stiff, turned-up hem over a flared satin skirt with a hint of beading at the waist that tied into the beading of the corset. Although I didn't love the stiffness of the bottom of the corset and the straps that levitated several inches above her shoulders (they were underlain by functional straps), I loved the overall lines and the mix of textures of the stiff beaded corset and the soft draped skirt. I also loved her diamond snake necklace and the way her mirror-bright silver platform sandals reflected the red carpet.
Emily Blunt wore a sleek white sequined sleeveless column with a scoop neck, a narrow silver belt, and a short train. I loved most of the details of this look, like the silver trim around the neck and armscyes, the belt, and the combination of both a choker and a longer necklace. But there were two major details that I intensely disliked: 1) the straps, which levitated well above her shoulders (similar to Florence Pugh's gown, above), and 2) the inexplicable silver panty-shaped outline on the front of the skirt. What on earth was up with that??
Lupita Nyong'o stunned in a silvery v-neck column with soft feather details at the hip and hem and a line of crystals down the front. The feather accents were perfectly proportioned for her petite figure, and added a softness to the simple, sleek silhouette without being overwhelming. I also loved the way her chandelier earrings and diamond bracelet echoed the crystal trim on the gown.
Anya Taylor-Joy channeled her inner mermaid in this marvelous silver-trimmed column with a tight, beaded bodice and layers of scalloping on the skirt. I love that the skirt had just a slight flare instead of a full mermaid silhouette, which would have been a little too much. But the dress moved beautifully, and Taylor-Joy looked regal and gorgeous.
Ava DuVernay wore a soft ice-blue column with long, off-the-shoulder sleeves plus shoulder straps with a buckle detail, and a short train. The princess seaming tailored the gown perfectly to her figure, and the crispness of the fabric looked cool and comfortable. Her elegant updo and gold clutch were just the right finishing touches.
Hailee Steinfeld's gray-blue chiffon gown featured a soft, full skirt with matching long scarf at the throat that attached to a pair of gauntlets to form a kind of capelet. The gauntlets and the bodice featured a pattern of metallic gold petals. I loved the concept of the gown, but the bodice was poorly fitted and fell too low on her chest, looking both uncomfortable and in danger of a wardrobe malfunction. The floatiness of the skirt and capelet, however, was just heavenly.
Julianna Hough wore a strapless jumpsuit with a silver, gold, and copper sequined bodice and super-wide-legged white pants. I loved the flowiness of the pants, but the fact that they gathered in to an empire waist made an awful lot of volume across her ribs that was not flattering. The same pants with a corset bodice to the waist, or at least a different cut that took out a lot of the fullness at the top of the pants, would have been a much better look on her petite figure.
Gabrielle Union wore a fantastic take on a structural look in this two-piece metallic silver ensemble. The top features a fitted strapless column that flares into a bell-shaped peplum over a narrow, straight skirt. The pieces are perfectly proportioned and balanced, and Union's stark topknot and diamond choker are lovely accents. And be sure to zoom in on the fabric - the construction and texture is spectacular.
Pink
Zendaya rarely makes a misstep on the red carpet, and this sleek single-strap sheath dress is no exception. It features a dark silver bodice peeking out from a soft pink overdress with a single strap and embroidered silver flowers. It hugs her curves and flares just a hint from the knee. Sheer perfection.
Ariana Grande, on the other hand, takes a big misstep in this pale pink monstrosity. She was clearly attempting to channel Glinda, her character in the upcoming
Wicked movie. And her base gown actually isn't too bad: the pale pink shade works for her, the simple, straight cut is flattering on her willowy figure, and the texture of the wrapped fabric adds visual interest. But the billowing, oversized wrap overwhelms her and envelopes her in a pink cloud that looks like chewed bubble gum. Wicked, indeed.
Melissa McCarthy was also a bit of a mess in this red and pink combination. Like Grande, her underdress was pretty and flattering, in McCarthy's case a round-necked, long-sleeved red column with a bit of draping at the waist. But that dress was topped with a clashing hot pink sleeve/cape/train combo that looked crumpled and messy. And the look was not helped by her voluminous 1980s hair. Please, won't someone get this woman a decent stylist? She deserves much better.
America Ferrera does (Barbie) pink perfectly in a shimmering pink sequin sleeveless column with angled straps, a notched bodice, and a short puddle of train. I love her black-and-diamond necklace and her softly waved blunt bob, both helping to cut the saccharine sweetness of the sea of pink.
Molly Sims was another pink failure in a soft chiffon gown with a graceful draping scarf that was positively ruined by a broad front opening outlined by what looked like a cheap silver plastic lei. The lines weren't pretty, the amount of breast that was revealed wasn't sexy, and the bodice looked both itchy and unforgiving in terms of movement. Just awful.
Keltie Knight fell in the middle of the two extremes in this bubblegum pink strapless gown with a corset bodice, full skirt, and gigantic, slightly darker pink bow with trailing ribbons. The overall style wasn't bad, it was just a little too much: too intense in color, too bulky in volume, too oversized details. Narrow and shorten the skirt, downsize the bow by about 60 percent and make it a paler shade rather than a more intense one, and this look works.
Leah Lewis looked positively ethereal in her soft pink gown, which consisted of long bands of sheer, sparkly chiffon that formed a bodice with raised straps - which worked, in this case, since they looked like they were floating on air - and a long, open front skirt made of long loops of fabric, creating a kind of peacock tail effect. This is the way to do weird and make it work!
Amelia Dimoldenberg wore a relatively simple pink gown. Similar to Kirsten Dunst's white gown, the bodice had narrow straps and open sides that created a kind of "bib" effect that I did not like. Dimoldenberg had the advantage of a v-neck, which looked less like an apron, but the side openings of her dress featured horizontal straps which bagged out instead of laying snug against her body, which was not a good look. I did love the cut of the skirt, which had a flat front with flaring panels at the side and back that created a lovely bell shape that was sleek instead of bulky. Close, but not quite right.
Everything Else
Andrea Riseborough wore a long-sleeved, high-necked plaid gown that I should have hated, but somehow I really love it! The horizontal red bands of the plaid are strategically placed at the shoulder and hip, and I love the way the heavier and more colorful fabric of the bodice gives way to softer, darker fabric in the skirt, creating a lovely sense of movement. I love the way the red, black, and white color palette is echoed in Riseborough's alabaster skin, vivid red lip, and sleek dark hair. This is a look that I not only love, but that I would gladly wear.
Erika Alexander, however, can keep this gown to herself. The base white column is quite pretty, with a simple, sleek silhouette and a short, narrow train, paired with elbow-length black gloves and a large diamond necklace. But then there's an added peplum-like overlay of a black skirt (made of fabric so thin it looks like a cheap trash bag) trimmed with frothy ruffles of purple, lavender, pink, and sage green. It's a hideous color combination and the texture looks like shag carpeting from a bathroom in the 1970s. Yuck.
Marlee Matlin gets us back on track in a beaded orchid column with long sleeves, a scoop neck, and a narrow ruffle along the neck. The texture of the fabric and the ruffled neck add just enough detail to keep this look from being bland, and this particular shade of purple is stunning on Matlin.
Liza Koshy wore a deep red mermaid gown with an off-the-shoulder bodice trimmed with large rosettes on each shoulder. I loved the subtle bit of draping across the bodice, but I wish the skirt had been a little less wrinkled. Otherwise, the tailoring was impeccable, the color was great, and the silhouette was perfect for her figure.
Brittany Snow wore a canary yellow satin column with interesting tailoring at the bust. Instead of standard seamed darts, the fabric seemed to be twisted to form cup shapes, and then tucked into a tightly fitted sheath that flared into a short train at the hem. Snow pulls off the unusual color and style very nicely.
Cynthia Erivo, like Ariana Grande, channeled her character from Wicked: in Erivo's case, the green witch, Elphaba. Erivo's deep green leather gown featured a deep v-neck, angled straps across the shoulders, a train, and ruffles that tapered from broad at the shoulders to narrow at the back hem, creating a sense of a dragon's tail. The look was fantastical without being freakish, and Erivo managed to look chic and gorgeous while at the same time absolutely terrifying and powerful. This was the most memorable look on the entire red carpet in my book!
Did I miss any of your favorites? More importantly, did I miss any of the looks you hated? Let me know!
