Monday, September 23, 2024

Fun Halloween Playlists for Every Musical Taste

Halloween is coming, and whether you're hosting a huge party for yourself or your kids or you're just sitting on the porch handing out candy to Trick-or-Treaters, you'll need a playlist. Depending on your take on Halloween - and your audience - you might want songs that are creepy, funny, dramatic, danceable, or just fun background pop. Here are some suggestions for each of those playlists! 


Creepy

"Anthem" from Us

The composer describes the opening piece from this psychological thriller to sound like an "evil march." I think it's fair to say that he succeeded, between the ominous drumbeats, the staccato Latin lyrics, and the just slightly "off" quality of the vocals. 

Stranger Things Theme

Beginning with eerily wavering sustained notes, it adds in a pulsing heartbeat, a hint of trembling snare drum, and just gets creepier from there. Can't you feel your own heart racing?

"This is Halloween" from The Nightmare Before Christmas

This song is apt for both the "Creepy" and the "Funny" categories (as are most things Tim Burton). The minor key, the odd harmonies, the stilted voices, the scraping chords on the strings - everything's just a tiny bit off, in a deliciously eerie way. 

"Disturbia" - Rihanna

The opening licks are directly out of the soundtrack of a horror movie. The electronic processing of Rihanna's vocals also give it a creepy mechanized feel. 

Theme from Halloween

Those dramatically stark piano notes raise the hair on the back of your neck, even if you've never seen any of the Halloween films. Is that Michael Myers lurking in the corner? *shudder*

"Run" (from Us)

A pounding drum and slashing strings reminiscent of Psycho create a terrifying atmosphere without saying (or singing) a single word. 

"Red Right Hand" (Peaky Blinders Theme) - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

The intensity with which Cave sings the lyrics "red right hand" may send shivers up your spine, but the creep factor of the whole song is pretty off the charts. 

"Burn the Witch" - Queens of the Stone Age

This cut was used in Peaky Blinders, which should be enough to certify its creepiness, although the repeated whispers of "Burn me" in the introduction was enough for me. 

"Night on Bald Mountain" - Moussorgsky

Moussorsky's famous orchestral masterpiece has been used in many films, perhaps most notably Disney's 1939 film Fantasia, which depicts a huge demon with glowing yellow eyes and enormous bat wings swooping down from a mountaintop for a night of revelry with other spirits and witches. 

"Bela Lugosi's Dead" - Bauhaus

The first third of this almost-10-minute song consists almost entirely of percussion and sound effects, with just a hint of a bass guitar line and an occasionally electric guitar lick. It's eerie and suspenseful, and when the vocals finally enter, they're just as weird and off-putting 

Also worth checking out:

  • "Cold Blows the Wind" - Ween
  • Theme from The X Files
  • "Living Dead Girl" - Rob Zombie
  • Theme from The Twilight Zone
  • "Double Trouble" from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban


Funny

"Monster Mash" - Bobby Pickett

The original Halloween novelty song, this definitely falls under the "funny/spooky" category. It also works well as part of a dance mix. 

"A Nightmare on My Street" - DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

Even if you're not old enough to remember when Will Smith was a rapper and not an actor, you'll get a kick out of this Nightmare on Elm Street parody. 

"I Put a Spell on You" (from Hocus Pocus 2) - Bette Midler

The original version of this song was written and recorded in 1956, and it has been covered by everyone from Creedence Clearwater Revival to Nina Simone to Annie Lennox. But it's Midler's slightly modified version from the movie Hocus Pocus 2 that's perfect for a fun but still spooky playlist. 

Theme from Ghostbusters - Ray Parker, Jr. 

A classic song from a classic movie, both of which combine the paranormal and the humorous. Who ya gonna call?

Theme from The Addams Family

Get your snapping fingers ready, because everyone will join in with this one. There are lots of versions out there from more recent film and Broadway versions, but you can't beat the original from the television series starring John Astin and Yvonne DeCarlo. 

"I'm in Love with a Monster" from Hotel Transylvania - Fifth Harmony

Halloween and sexy are somehow intertwined, and this funky song makes the most of the idea. It's also a great dance song. 

"Werewolves of London" - Warren Zevon

"Ahoooooo! Werewolves of London!" Who can beat that hook? This song is just nostalgic 1970s fun. 

"Skeleton in the Closet" (from Pennies from Heaven) - Louis Armstrong

This clever little number from the movie Pennies from Heaven is not nearly as well-known as it should be. Armstrong sings and plays along with the Tommy Dorsey orchestra and you can imagine the happy skeletons bursting our of the closet to dance along. 

"Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead!" - Ella Fitzgerald

This is NOT the version from The Wizard of Oz - Ella's jazzy, extended take is much more fun. 


"Spooky Scary Skeletons" - Andrew Gold

My kids loved this one when they were in preschool, and the xylophone introduction still tickles me.


Also worth checking out:

  • "Purple People Eater" - Sheb Wooley
  • "Zombie Jamboree" - Rockapella
  • "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" - Charlie Daniels Band
  • "With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm" - The Kingston Trio
  • "Dinner with Drac" - John Zacherle
  • "Witch Doctor" - Alvin and the Chipmunks 


Dramatic

"Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" - J.S. Bach

Perhaps the most recognizable organ piece ever written, "Toccata and Fugue" is a horror film staple, having been featured in classics like Jekyll and Hyde (1932) and Phantom of the Opera (1962). It has also been both sampled and parodied in numerous other films and compositions. 

"Danse Macabre" - Camille Saint-Saens

Can't you just imagine the dancing skeletons when you hear this piece? And the ghosts and witches swirling around in the air? 
 

"Overture" from Phantom of the Opera

There's something innately both dramatic and terrifying about classical organ music, and Lloyd Webber makes the most of it in this eerie but beautiful overture. 

"Tubular Bells" (theme from The Exorcist) - Mike Oldfield

Somehow the beauty and simplicity of this melody makes it dramatic rather than creepy, and yet there is still a mental association with the horrific imagery and paranormal terror of The Exorcist

"Don't Fear the Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult

I don't know if it's the lyrics or the cowbell, but this song has a wonderfully dramatic take on death that works well in a mix that includes a lot of orchestral classics. 

"In the Hall of the Mountain King" (from Peer Gynt) - Edvard Grieg
Grieg's "tiptoe music" which opens the piece has been used and imitated in countless cartoons, but the theme which gradually becomes faster and more intense keeps the listeners on the edge of their seats right up until the dramatic, crashing finale. 

"Beginning to End" - Aimee Norris

This piece for unaccompanied cello is hauntingly lovely and incredibly sad. Someone's heart is tragically breaking, and I think it might be mine. 

"Paint It Black" from Wednesday 

This arrangement for solo cello and orchestra of the Rolling Stones' hit completely changed its feel. The ethereal chorus in the background sings like angels yet somehow evokes demons. 

"Suspiria: Main Theme" - Goblin

The sostenuto of the drums, the whispered, hissing lyrics, the vaguely exotic instrumentation, the techno beeping at the midpoint...it all adds up to dramatic and suspenseful. 

"Ghost Riders in the Sky" - Johnny Cash

Cash's song may not be the same style of drama as the other pieces on this list, but it is plenty dramatic and spooky. 

Also worth checking out:

  • "Allegro" from Symphony No. 10 in E Minor - Dmitri Shostakovitch
  • "O, Fortuna" (from Carmina Burana) - Carl Orff
  • "Der Erlkonig" ("The Elf King") - Franz Schubert
  • "Devil's Dance" (from The Witches of Eastwick) - John Williams
  • "Isle of the Dead" - Sergei Rachmaninoff

Dance Mix

"Thriller" - Michael Jackson


Arguably the coolest dance video ever made, any guest over the age of 40 should know at least part of the choreography, and any guest over the age of 50 will not be able to resist breaking into that choreography. This is a must-have if you have guests in this age bracket. 

"Somebody Watching Me" - Rockwell

With guest vocals by Michael Jackson, this "stalker" song has a sweet sound that belies the creepiness of the lyrics, making it even creepier. But it also has a great beat that you can dance to. 

"Time Warp" from Rocky Horror Picture Show

It's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the riiiight....yeah, we all know it. This is another must-have for any Halloween dance mix. 

"Get Ur Freak On" - Missy Elliott

The pulsing beat will encourage all your guests to get their freak on. I'm no rap fan, but I'd definitely be on the dance floor at a party when this song came on. 

"Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)" - David Bowie

Bowie is always good for a few singalong dance tunes, and this is a great one. Plus it's deliciously eerie both musically and lyrically. 

"True Blood" - Justin Timberlake

This song has a great dance beat and just a hint of a creepy, otherworldly sound that's perfect for Halloween. 

"Dead Man's Party" - Oingo Boingo

This song is upbeat yet creepy, and has the perfect beat for a dance mix playlist. Leave your body at the door!

"Dig, Gravedigger" - Corb Lund

What better to add to a dance playlist than a country western song begging for a line dance? This boot-stomping tune about a guy with an unusual occupational will get everyone on their feet. 

"Highway to Hell" - AC/DC

The ultimate head-banging anthem, this song is sure to draw everyone to the dance floor to flip their hair around and sing into an imaginary microphone. 

"Crazy Train" - Ozzy Osborne

I loved this song in my youth, and when I worked at a high school, it was clearly the band members' favorite piece. Head banging, air guitar, and the whole room belting out "AY! AY! AY!" in unison. This one will bring all ages onto the dance floor. 


Also worth checking out:
  • "Calling All the Monsters" - China Anne McClain
  • "Runnin' with the Devil" - Van Halen
  • "Magic Dance" (from Labyrinth) - David Bowie
  • "Devil in My Car" - The B-52s
  • "Super Freak" - Rick James


Background Pop

"Superstition" by Stevie Wonder

This is such a great song, I'd be afraid I'd get seven years of bad luck just for not including it on this list.

"Wolves" - Selena Gomez & Marshmello

Great sound, great lyrics. The breathless vocals and parallel octaves are haunting and beautiful, particularly as the final note hangs in the emptiness. 

"Dark Horse" - Katy Perry ft. Juicy J
This minimally scored song makes the most of Perry's rangy, raspy vocals and Juicy J's techno interludes. And lyrics that reference Jeffrey Dahmer and putting Sleeping Beauty in a coma? Yeah, the creep factor is high here. 

"Zombie" - The Cranberries
The singer's almost yodel-like vocals, with numerous gasping breaths, is evocative of watching a scary movie. Great background atmosphere music. 

"She Wolf" - Shakira
This one doesn't quite feel like a dance track to me, but it's great background pop for a Halloween party. Don't be surprised if your guests howl and pant along now and then. 

"Hungry Like the Wolf" - Duran Duran
It's the story rather than the sound that keeps this one on the Halloween playlist, but it's still great for background music, especially if your guests were around in the 1980s, when this song was a huge hit.

"Witchy Woman" - The Eagles
This song is a classic for a reason. And aren't all of us a little bit witchy on Halloween?

"Season of the Witch" - Donovan

Donovan's mannered diction in the semi-spoken sections sounds trancelike and creepy, which only adds to the otherworldly sound of this retro hit. Lana Del Rey also has a cover version. 

"Every Breath You Take" - The Police

The original creepy stalker song, this one sounds like a sweet love song until you listen to the lyrics. 

"Toxic" - Britney Spears

The screaming strings are enough to qualify this hit for the Halloween playlist. 

Also worth checking out:

  • "We Only Come Out at Night" - Smashing Pumpkins
  • "Ain't No Grave (Can Hold My Body Down)" - Johnny Cash
  • "Feed My Frankenstein" - Alice Cooper
  • "Runnin' with the Devil" - Van Halen
  • "There Will be Blood" - Kim Petras


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Monday, September 16, 2024

The 2024 Primetime Emmy Awards: Red Carpet Review

It's awards season, and the red carpet events are coming hot and heavy! Last night was the 2024 Primetime Emmy Awards, and much like the recent VMAs, the majority of red carpet ensembles fell into a few distinct categories. In the case of the Emmys, those categories were colors: Basic Black (and Midnight Blue), Reds and Pinks, and White/Silver/Grey. And again, like the VMAs, there were also a few looks worthy of mention that didn't fall into any of those categories, so I'll end with a Miscellaneous group. 

Basic Black (and Midnight Blue)

Brie Larson wore a tea-length vintage style gown with black and crystal beading on the narrow straps and across the top of the bodice, as well as spangling the bodice and double-layered peplum. The dress had a wide black satin sash that tied in a bow which was charmingly echoed in her diamond bow bracelet. The look was simple and charming, but I would have loved it if she added a small diamond pendant necklace - or, even better, a pendant with a pop of color, like ruby or emerald. But it was still a lovely look. 
Caroline Ribeiro was stunning in a sleeveless, single-shouldered black column topped with a wide swath of ivory that edged the bodice then wrapped across her throat and fell into a capelet over her shoulder. The lines were elegant and graceful, and her delicate diamond jewelry was the perfect finishing touch. 

Connie Britton's strapless black satin column had a sweetheart neckline and was encrusted with lovely black bugle beading, but a swath of plain fabric was drawn up from the side of the dress to cover half the bodice, which not only covered up the beading, but created a shapeless silhouette that did not flatter. I also didn't love the combination of a wide gold and diamond choker with an only slightly longer diamond pendant on a slim gold chain, but I adored her black pointy pumps with flat angled bow accents. 

Dionne Harmon's dress did a better job of combining plain black satin with black and crystal beading. Her sheer black bodice, which had a high round neck and tiny cap sleeves, was encrusted with diamond starbursts and loops of crystal beading. It was almost too much, but it was balanced by a simple black satin ankle-length wrap skirt with a hint of soft ruffling at the top of the slit. I also loved her black patent pumps with dark silver pointy toes and her rectangular black clutch edged in silver. A great look.

Elizabeth Debicki wore a stark black gown with a very wide rectangular neckline, narrow straps, and a slightly full skirt. It was pretty enough, but it needed more visual interest than her long diamond earrings (which were lovely), such as some texture to the fabric, some visual seaming, or a pop of color in her jewelry, shoes, or bag. As it was, it was just blah.  

Emily Hampshire made an attempt at creating visual interest in this odd take on a tuxedo, which was missing the right shoulder and sleeve. I loved the slim-fitting cropped pants, and the tailoring of the tuxedo part of the top was lovely - I especially loved the bow tie attached to the lapel - but the white shirt didn't work for me. I would love to see this look with a white (or even black) dainty cami underneath instead of the sleeved dress shirt. As it was, I was not a fan. 

Heather McMahan wore a long-sleeved, plunging neck black mesh gown with delicate sparkles all over and a short train. I loved the way the fabric drew together at the waist to create a starburst pattern, I loved her high looped ponytail and wavy tendrils, and I loved her strappy black sandals. If I had one nit to pick, I wish that her pedicure and manicure matched (I'd have gone with shell pink rather than stark red), but overall, I really liked this look. 

Ilona Maher's midnight blue velvet gown was an excellent example of a few details that make a simple look work: the silhouette of her column was quite stark, with a straight across bodice and a barely-flared skirt ending in a puddle of train, but the addition of a flared, rippled peplum, as well as the gorgeous color and texture of the fabric, made this into a terrific look.  

Jean Smart always looks amazing on the red carpet, but this look was a little bland for me. Her midnight blue sheath featured a strapless sweetheart neckline topped with a sheer yoke that fell into a capelet, and the skirt flared just a tiny bit, falling into a short train. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't memorable.  

Jodie Foster's personal style is not frilly or traditionally feminine, and this navy dress reflects that. The cut is quite straight, with a round neck, squared shoulders with shoulder pads, a narrow metallic gold belt, and a wide, stiff "shoulder sash" that sticks out from her hip. The shoulder sash is just weird and inappropriately reminiscent of a beauty queen sash. Lose that, lighten up on the shoulder pads, and edge the neckline with the same gold as the belt, and this look would be a win. But I'd still rather see her in a tailored suit with cropped pants. 

Kathy Bates looked elegant and comfortable in a midnight blue beaded gown with a round neck and long sleeves. Although it was cut in a shift style (no visible waist seam), it skimmed her body to create a smooth, flattering silhouette, and I loved the pink rose on her handbag, which tied into her outfit with a few beaded tassels that matched the beading on her gown. A great color and style on her. 

Laura Dern's black satin gown had a kind of fit-and-flare silhouette, with an off-the-shoulder portrait neckline, 3/4-length fitted sleeves, three large jet buttons on the princess-seamed bodice, and a few soft pleats that created a slight bell shape to the skirt, which skimmed the floor. I didn't love the colorful jeweled pendant hanging from her short diamond necklace, but I did love her wide cuff bracelet and drop earrings. Considering how often I am not a fan of Dern's red carpet looks, this one is definitely a winner for me. 

Laverne Cox wore a black satin sheath with metallic gold embroidery on the skirt, paired with a super long velvet wrap with just a hint of gold spangles. I loved the embroidery and spangled wrap, but the style of the long necklace made of gold rings didn't seem to match the style of the rest of the outfit. The concept was great, but that one piece fell a little short. But still, a terrific look. 

Lily Gladstone wore a black velvet sheath with one off-the-shoulder strap, a long narrow flared train, and an etched copper breastplate. I loved the angled lines of the double chains on the breastplate, as well as the gracefully curved lines of the breastplate itself. I wish it had been just a hair smaller, as it seemed to shift uncomfortably across her body, resulting in a crooked line, but it was an absolutely gorgeous piece and perfectly set off by the simple lines of the rest of her look. 

Melissa Peterman wore a short black A-line underdress with narrow straps and a short-sleeved, high-yoked sheer overlay with a ruffle starting at the knee. I wish the underdress came down to the top of the ruffle (or, conversely, the ruffle started at the hem of the underdress), but overall I liked the look. Peterman's high bouffant updo and subtle makeup was perfectly framed by the sash and bow at the neck, with tails that trailed over her shoulder. Very nicely done. 

Mindy Kaling wore a spangled black column with a portrait neckline and floating shoulders. The gown hugged her figure beautifully, and the line of beading along the collar and down the front of the dress emphasized her curves. Long diamond earrings, a wide diamond bracelet, and a single delicate diamond ring were the perfect accessories. 

Molly Gordon's black gown appeared bland at first, but on closer inspection revealed many wonderful details: wide satin edging along the plunging neckline, horizontally shirred fabric wrapping the waist and hips, a slightly overlapping front slit, and a narrow, short train. The neckline of the gown was gorgeous, and although I wish her hair had been done in a less limp style, she looked stunning. 


Olivia Williams (with costar Dominic West, because I couldn't find a picture of her alone that showed the front of her gown) wore a crushed taffeta halter gown that flared from neckline to hem, with a short puffy train and a low back. The voluminous dress somehow did not overwhelm her figure, and looked floaty and comfortable instead of bulky, which is often the case with this style. I loved her look, and I especially loved her jeweled bag and long, diamond-shaped jeweled earrings. 

Quinta Brunson wore a super-shiny trumpet gown with pointy bodice and two large bows at the hip and knee. Her hair was slicked back with a pair of Betty Boop-style curls at one temple. I loved the way the bodice floated away from her body while the rest of the gown fit snugly to her curves, and I loved the way the different parts of the dress caught the light differently to create plenty of visual interest. 

Reese Witherspoon looked sweet in a strapless black tulle A-line gown embellished with white flowers running diagonally from shoulder to hip and from hip to hem. Her slicked-back hairstyle, diamond earbobs, and delicate short diamond necklace with a small pendant were just the right proportions to set off the look without being too much. Lovely!

Robin Roberts looked terrific in a black and silver spangled halter gown that clung in all the right places. The spangled fabric moved in the light to add interest to the simple cut, and Roberts' paired bracelets and rings, along with short earbobs, were just the right accessories. 

Saoirse Ronan wore a dramatic two-piece black ensemble that paired a barely-flared black column skirt with short train and a wide bandeau top with a swath of fabric draped and tucked into the top edge that both softened the straight lines of the outfit and joined the two pieces visually. I loved her softly waved hair and wide diamond collar necklace. 

Selena Gomez channeled classic Hollywood elegance in a black trumpet halter with a twisted, silver-encrusted neckband. The silhouette was stunning and her simple jewelry and sleek, straight hair were the perfect accessories. 

Sheryl Lee Ralph knows how to work a simple gown and this one was no exception. Her form-fitting black sheath featured a high halter neckline trimmed with bugle beading and a small bow with a gold disc at the center, accessorized only with small twisted hoop earrings, a pair of delicate bangle bracelets, and a few chunky rings. It's all about balance and proportion - and knowing when your figure is all the embellishment you need. 

Zanna Roberts went more casual in a short, strapless dress with a narrow belt with a diamond starburst accent that fell just below the waist, accessorized with super-pointed pumps with wide ankle straps, a pearl bracelet, a black chain bracelet, and long black chain earrings. It was a cute look, but didn't really feel red carpet to me. I would have loved if it the skirt had been floor length, or even if it had a sheer floor-length overlay. But it was just a little too casual and underdone for me.  

Red and Pinks

Aja Naomi King wore a blush pink ruched minidress with lots of fabric flowers across the bust, paired with a super-full chiffon skirt at the back only. I loved the way the skirt was edged with a lettuce finish, but it was too voluminous at the waist, making the whole look feel unbalanced. A slightly longer dress and a little less volume in both the rear skirt and the flowers, and this would have been a great look.   

Amber Chardae Robinson opted for a satin gown made of variegated shades of deep pink, with fantastical "wings" jutting out in front of the bodice, and a straight underskirt with a fuller, pleated overlay of solid color pink satin. I loved the delicate flower and vine detailing on the bodice and underskirt, and the delicate diamond jewelry. Robinson has the carriage to carry off the oversized bodice without being overwhelmed by it, and the result is magical.  

Anna Sawai wore a cherry red trumpet gown with a plunging bodice with tiny, angled straps that was fitted to just below the hip, where it flared into a short ruffled peplum and then an A-lined skirt that skimmed the floor. The lines were severe, but the hint of ruffle in the peplum and the way the hem floated above the floor softened the effect for a lovely result. 

Gillian Jacobs wore a two-piece column which was great in concept, but looked poorly fitted. The column skirt had a wide slit and seemed to be well-tailored, but the strapless top, which seemed to be intended to be tailored to her figure, looked a bit loose and baggy. I loved the buttons up the front, the double-needled princess seaming, and the way the lower edge flared out from her hips a bit, but the top looked loose and puckered across the bust and waist, as if the designer didn't quite have time to finish it (Project Runway, anyone?). 

Gina Torres looked fabulous in her one-shouldered bubblegum pink sheath, which featured a capelet falling from her shoulder and a deep side slit. I loved the way the fabric gathered at the waist and draped over her shoulder and across her hip, creating graceful lines, as did the angled, almost ruffled edge of the capelet. Her stacked bracelet and ring and curly updo all added to the class and grace of this look. 

Hannah Einbinder wore a dusty pink, Grecian-style dress. The chiffon skirt was full and had a slightly dropped waist, ending in a tiny train. The bodice was topped with shiny fabric that draped across the front and over one shoulder. It was an interesting look structurally, but the color was not right for her, and her center-parted, flippy bob was at odds with the style of the dress. Not a bad look, but it definitely need to be styled differently, and in a better color for her. 

Isabella Star Lablanc wore a wrapped off-the-shoulder red satin gown with large rosettes at the bodice, which was also draped with a swath of satin, and a short front slit in the column skirt. I loved the way her beaded bag tied in to both her native American heritage and the rosettes on her gown, and the white feather in her hair and white leather-and-bead necklace tied all the accessories together. 

Janelle James wore a voluminous one-shouldered cherry red gown with a large ruffle down the bodice  that cascaded down to join the ruffled hem of the skirt. It was a lovely silhouette, but the ruffle was a little too voluminous, and the skirt was a lot too voluminous. Trim down the whole thing, and this would have been a look where you notice the wearer and not just the dress. 

I'm not generally a fan of bubble skirts, but Keltie Knight does it just right in this red taffeta, off-the-shoulder, two-tiered bubble skirt gown. Although the bodice is a little tight, I love the diagonal lines created by the crushed fabric, and the twisted shoulder loops. The narrow self-belt nips the silhouette in at the waist, and the bubble hem at the knee is narrow enough to stay in proportion, echoing the small flare of the floor-length hem, with just a hint of train at the back. Minimal accessories and subtle hair and makeup let the dress shine without taking over. 

Meryl Streep is often a mess on the red carpet, but this pastel pink suit isn't half bad. I could live without the matronly bow blouse, but I love the square shoulders of the double-breasted jacket and the wide sleeves which echo the wide-leg, high-waisted pants. Her large silver hoop earrings also echo the circular silver handles of her slightly paler pink bag. Way to go, Meryl!

Nava Mau's wet-look red sheath gown was structurally fascinating! It was made from vertical panels of fabric that jutted forward from the bodice to form a kind of twisted lapels above her shoulders, and flared below the knee to form a short train. I loved the way the light caught the fabric. Her red-and-white y-shaped necklace filled the neckline perfectly, and the sparkly silver platform sandals with a peep of bright red toenail polish were adorable. 

Niecy Nash-Betts went for a deep brick red gown that combined a clingy chiffon base gown with a satin swath that covered half the bodice and then cascaded to the floor in a long train. I loved the asymmetry of the bodice with both the contrasting fabrics and the one-up-one-down straps, and well as the visual contrast of the shiny and matte fabrics. It was a beautiful and interesting look. 

Rita Ora's pale pink gown was reminiscent of a 1940s boudoir set, pairing a strapless, bias-cut flared gown with a sweetheart neckline with a frothy marabou-edged wrap. It was almost a little too simple for my taste, but the fabric of the gown that drew in to a starburst pattern at the waist, combined with Ora's pseudo-marcelled side curls, created a timeless vintage look that I loved. 

Sofia Vergara wore a gravity-defying red gown that was tightly fitted from waist to hip, then cascaded into a softly full skirt, with a widely spaced modified sweetheart bodice. I didn't love the wide space between the two parts of the bodice, particularly since the lines created by the way the fabric was crushed made it look like her breasts were being pulled away from each other. But I absolutely loved the lines that were created on the rest of the bodice, as it plunged to a v mid-hip, with the fabric wrapping the hips creating more horizontal lines that joined the v. Add two narrow ribbon bands between the halves of the bodice, and this look would be out of this world. 
  

White/Silver/Grey

Carrie Coon's white dress was like a Frankenstein's monster, with parts taken from a Star Trek uniform, a trench coat, and a shower curtain. It was even pieced together of different types of fabric, stitched together with large zigzag stitches on the outside, and lots of raw edges showing. I actually liked the lines of the bodice, but the casual fabric and unfinished construction style was just awful. Coon deserves better.  

Catherine O'Hara was radiant in a nude gown overlain with sparkly silver embroidery in the shape of rosettes. The gown featured a high round neck and long sleeves, with just a hint of a flare to the skirt. It was a simple silhouette which provided a nice balance with the busy pattern of the fabric, and O'Hara's accessories of a teardrop-shaped necklace with a deep brown gem and matching earrings, along with a simple gold clutch, were just right. 

Dakota Fanning wore a silvery-white empire-waisted silk gown with a sweetheart neckline and crushed fabric on the bodice that twisted at the center to form a pleat that fell softly to the floor. The fabric was studded with pearls, which created some nice texture. My only objection was that the color was so close to Fanning's skin tone that it disappeared against her skin. I would have loved a hint of ice blue or even deep pink trim along the neckline and perhaps down the front pleat that would have created a border between the gown and her skin. But still, a lovely look on her.   

Desi Lydic wore a pure white sequined gown with thigh-high slits at both sides and a large diamond-shaped cutout at the front of the bodice. I liked the seaming across the bodice, which created a v-shaped panel topped with diamond shapes forming the top of the bodice. I didn't love the way the super-high slits caused the front and back of the skirt to hang like flat panels, but that's a minor quibble in what is otherwise a fine look. 

Devery Jacobs combined a basic ivory tuxedo with a frothy tulle overlay consisting of a multi-tiered ruffled skirt which for some reason attaches just below the bust, and a ruffled cape at the back. I'm not sure what the point of adding the tulle was, but it could have been an okay look without it. With it, it's a downright terrible one. 

Diane Lane wore a plain white column with a jewel neck, long sleeves, and a narrow self belt. The neckline and belt are both embellished with beading, but the overall look is still boring. 

Greta Lee wore a white lace shift-style halter with a twist of fabric forming a cowl collar. Despite its somewhat shapeless silhouette, it moved well and didn't overwhelm Lee's slight figure. I loved the pop of color in her large sapphire earrings, and her center-parted, straight sleek hair was nicely in keeping with the rest of her look. 

Holland Taylor wore an ivory suit with tapered pants and a cropped, double-breasted jacket accented with a diamond brooch on each lapel, over a shimmery silvery-white straight-edged camisole. She looked tailored and elegant. 

Janine Rubenstein's white dress, like many others, used lines of crushed fabric and seaming to create visual interest. This bodice had lines that swept up from the hip to the shoulder, then across to the opposite shoulder, with loose halter straps and a single strap draped over one shoulder, and the straight skirt was softened by a pleated panel that feel from one hip to form a short side train. The draped fabric skimmed her figure loosely rather than being overly snug or fitted, which made the gown look comfortable as well as flattering. I would absolutely wear this dress.  

Jennifer Aniston went with a formula we've seen her in dozens of times: a basic strapless column made interesting with an unusual texture or print. In this case, it's a fabric encrusted with teardrop-shaped pearls forming a seashell pattern. It's impeccably tailored to her figure, and her wide diamond bangle and straight, simple hairstyle are all the accessories needed. There's a reason this is her go-to style. 

Leslie Bibb looked fantastic in a clinging white halter gown embellished with loops of pearl beading. The super-straight lines were flattering on her slight figure, and the loops swung like fringe as she moved. Long but simple earrings, a delicate diamond bracelet, and side-swept blond waves completed her wonderful look. 

Lety Shahagun wore a white dress that was also simple, but less successful. The silhouette of the skirt was fine if boring, but the bodice had a high jewel neck, broad shoulder seams that extended past the natural point of her shoulders, and angled fabric that made her shoulders appear not only broad, but very sloped. It was not a flattering cut for her. 

Lisa Ann Walter topped her strapless white column with its thigh-high slit with a wrap of chartreuse satin that angled across the front of the bodice, then wrapped to the opposite hip before flaring down into a short train. I loved the graceful lines, and the unexpected pop of color worked beautifully with her gorgeous auburn hair. Loved it!

Nicola Coughlan wore a metallic silver two-piece gown that had a similar silhouette to the red gown worn by Gillian Jacobs. However, Coughlan's worked much better for me, due to its impeccable tailoring. The bodice, which in this case has a portrait neckline and princess seams, is perfectly fitted to Coughlan's body until it flares into a bell shape at the hip. Note how smooth the curves of the top are, compared to Jacobs' top. The straight skirt then falls to the floor in a clean line. The width of the bottom of the bodice is perfectly proportioned to keep her figure balanced, which is not an easy feat on a curvy figure. But she looks amazing in this outfit. 

Padma Lakshmi wore a tight-fitting off-white sequined strapless gown. Lakshmi would look gorgeous wearing a brown paper bag, but I was disappointed at the fit of this gown. The darts were lumpy, the fabric pulled awkwardly under the bust, as if she needed more support or structure, and the dress wrinkled across the hips because it was a little too tight. Good concept, poor execution. 

Tazbah Chavez wore a white suit trimmed with bands of satin ribbon in ivory, gold, burgundy, and black on the jacket cuffs and pants hem. I loved the wide pantlegs and corresponding wide jacket sleeves, and the ribbon trim was absolutely stunning. But I didn't like the complete lack of a shirt. I would have loved a low-cut cami trimmed in narrower version of the ribbons, or a spangled bra in one of the colors, or even no shirt but with the jacket loosely buttoned. But the bare skin with the unbuttoned jacket was a little too naked for my taste. 

Ella Purnell wore a sleek gown made of metallic silver chainmail-style fabric with a plunging neckline. The silhouette of the dress is great, and I loved that the neckline was finished with a wide band of fabric made from slightly larger metallic circles, which subtly changed the texture, and I loved the curved seam below the bust. But the seam was a little too low to be an empire waistline and much too high to be a natural waistline, and since the hem was also about an inch too short, the dress felt poorly fitted on her. 

Jacqueline Novak wore a strapless grey taffeta dress with really interesting construction. I loved the angled seaming of the bodice, and the bow with wide tails that extended out at the top of the bodice. I even loved the way the skirt was gathered at the waist, with ah inverted center pleat, and then tapered at the bottom to create an unusual silhouette. But the fabric was horribly wrinkled, which ruined the beautiful lines. I'm sure this look was fabulous on the runway, but after riding to an event in the back of a limo, it lost its charm. 

Katie Aselton wore a dark silver, form-fitting, crinkled gown with a plunging bustline. Asleton's gown avoided the problems I had with Sofia Vergara's similarly-shaped bodice, simply by slightly adjusting the angle of the crinkles to be more vertical than horizontal, and by adding tiny straps - even though the straps don't join the two sides of the bodice, as I suggested for Vergara. The overall lines of the gown skim Aselton's figure softly, floating away from her body at the hem and train, but clinging firmly in the bodice and hips. 

Kristen Wiig wore a metallic silver strapless ballgown in a basket-weave pattern studded with tiny flowers. I loved the naturally pinked edges at the top of the bodice and the hem of the skirt that resulted from the weave, and I loved the graceful bell shape of the skirt. It was a classic silhouette that used the reflected light from the shine and texture of the fabric to come alive. I would have loved a slightly dressier hairstyle, but it was a wonderful look, nonetheless.  
 

Miscellaneous

Abby Elliott wore a strapless ice blue chiffon gown with a slightly full skirt and a floor-length sheer cape. Simple, and lovely.  

Ajwa Aljoudi wore a burnished gold silk column with princess seaming and a black drape across the throat and down the back. It was simple, but elegant. 

Ayo Edebiri wore a strapless sheath with a thigh-length slit in a shiny orange, black, and yellow print. It was sweet and cheery, and I would love to wear that dress to a party (especially if I looked like that while wearing it). 

Christine Baranski was beyond stunning in a shiny gold silk column with large silver and black flowers, with a few near the hemline with specks of red. The bodice featured a wrapped front that circled the shoulders, then the gown fell in a sleek line to the floor. But the crowning glory was Baranski's vivid red satin pointy-toed kitten heels with diamond buckles. *chef's kiss* 

Da'Vine Joy Randolph wore a one-sleeved apple green wrapped gown with a hood and a short train. I didn't love the way the single sleeve caused one side of the bodice to look droopy, but on the whole, I loved the lines of this dress. The color is spectacular on her, and the pair of silver snake chokers fill the neckline to perfection. 

Karen Pittman wore a black strapless column with a pink floral print, accessorized with elbow-length black satin gloves, a stunning diamond choker, and soft, sideswept curls. Lovely. 

Kit Hoover wore a draping caramel-colored chiffon gown with an empire waist and plunging neckline. It was simple and flattering, but somewhat forgettable. 

Kristin Scott Thomas wore a tea-length lilac silk shift dress with a gathered neckline, cap sleeves, and an attached cape. She accessorized with mauve opera gloves, a gold clutch, and gold kitten heels with metallic gold accents. I would have preferred for the dress to be floor-length, as the style didn't feel right for the more casual shorter length, but it was still a very nice look. 

Liza Colon-Zayas looked terrific in a vivid green print off-the-shoulder gown that gathered at the hip and had a tiny train. The busy print was well-balanced with the simple cut, and the softly draped lines were flattering. 

Maya Rudolph wore a coffee-colored sleeveless, round-necked, chiffon gown with a ruffle running down the front and around the hem, topped with a sheer hip-length cape with a matching ruffled edge. My favorite part of her look was the jeweled snake necklace that lay perfectly along the neckline of the cape. Rudolph has struggled in the past finding the balance between modest and matronly, and this look is definitely headed in the right direction. 

Naomi Watts wore one of my favorite looks of the night, a deep emerald green satin gown in a very traditional cut. The strapless bodice features a wide horizontal panel that falls to the floor at the back, and the A-line skirt is finished with a short round train. Although it is a tiny bit wrinkled, the wrinkles fall in flattering lines, rather than emphasizing any tailoring issues. I would love to wear this dress. 

Nischelle Turner wore a peach satin gown with a corset top and a skirt consisting of two fitted bias-cut panels reaching the knee and a full skirt with a short train below. I love the angled seaming on the bodice and the curved lacings at the hips, and how perfectly the skirt skims her body until the skirt flares out. It's a gorgeous color and style on her. 

Reba McEntire shows us how to wear a suit on the red carpet in an emerald green paisley-patterned tuxedo with wide-legged, flared pants and peak lapels, over a sparkly silver cami, accessorized with three diamond starburst brooches, a pair of emerald rings, large diamond stud earrings, and a casual updo with lots of wavy tendrils. 

Sarah Paulson. Oh, Sarah Paulson. Let me say again: Please get a new stylist. I know this look is Prada, but it's still ugly and unflattering. The cobalt blue is gorgeous on you, although the jewel neckline combined with the flared above-the-elbow sleeves is doing you no favors. But the black-and-white underskirt? I feel like you're being punk'd. But do hang on to your hair and makeup person, because you look fantastic from the neck up. 

Viola Davis is one of my red carpet favorites, so although I would probably have loved this look on anyone else, I feel like she could have done - and usually does do - much better. While I love the silhouette, and the details of the twisted waist and criss-cross neckline, the black and white combo is not working for me. I would prefer this gown in all black, all white, or any solid jewel tone. That said, she still looks great. She just could have looked better. 

Zuri Hall rocked this simple chocolate brown satin halter column. The shade was just dark enough to contrast with her skin, and the pleats in the bodice catch the light to create shape and visual interest, but then the straight skirt looks sleek and smooth. Very nice. 



What was YOUR favorite look of the night?

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