I'm Not White-Knuckling It: Being the Mom of a Newly-Permitted Driver

Most parents have a hard time imagining their kids growing up; looking ahead to their next stage of development can be a little mind-boggling. When your baby can barely sit up, it's hard to picture him walking. On her first day of kindergarten, you know she'll eventually graduate from high school but that's too far in the future to imagine. When he takes that first wildly careening trip down the driveway on his tricycle, you try and fail to imagine him getting behind the wheel of a car for the first time. 

That time, however, is here for me. This past February school vacation, my 16-year-old son took an intensive 5-day driving class, and a few weeks later, he took - and passed - the test for his learner's permit. 

Which means that over the past few weeks, I have had the terrifying - but also exhilarating - privilege of taking him driving. 

My family currently owns two vehicles: an 11-year-old minivan, which is solid, reliable, and scuffed up enough to not be a concern for a new driver to have the occasional "oops" in, but which is also big and a little unwieldy; and a 14-year old Volkswagen Passat sedan which is in surprisingly good condition, except that at the time my son got his permit, it had not been on the road for 9 months and had a seriously expired inspection sticker, and was also stinky and loud when you started it. We had hung onto the Passat with the intention of letting it be "his" car, especially while learning, so I made an appointment to get it inspected and repaired. But since he was eager to practice driving as soon as he got his permit, I gave him his first few lessons in the minivan. 

We are fortunate to live right across the street from a public park with a parking lot at either end, so those were our initial practice areas. We began, of course, by adjusting the seat and mirrors - which was quite an adjustment, as he is a full 8 inches taller than I am - and by reviewing the controls, from the accelerator and brake pedals, to the speedometer and tachometer, to the turn signals, windshield wipers, parking brake, and headlights. And then, we were off!

Interestingly, his biggest struggle on that first day was controlling both pedals with his right foot. It seemed odd to me, until he explained that his only previous driving experience was in an ATV, where you brake with your left foot because at times you are pressing the accelerator while simultaneously letting up on the brake to avoid slipping. After a little practice, he got the hang of it, and we practiced driving in a "lane" and turning, especially straightening out after turning. We spent a couple of half-hour sessions working on turning, stopping, and pulling into and out of a parking space in those lots. I could tell he was still feeling a bit uncomfortable, so for our next session, I took him to a larger parking lot on the other side of town that had been recommended by his classroom driving instructor as a good practice location. Once we were able to get a little more speed going, he got a better feel for things. 

But everything really started to click for him once I got the sedan inspected and he was able to practice on a smaller car. After a few circuits of the nearby parking lot, he was eager to get on a "real road." I agreed that he was ready, so we drove in a loop down our very quiet road, onto Main Street for just a few hundred feet, then turned onto another (somewhat winding) side street, which eventually led to another major road, which led back to Main Street via a large intersection with a traffic light, then back home. He did a great job making left and right turns, remembering to signal, stopping completely at stop signs, managing confusing traffic lights, and waiting for appropriate breaks in traffic before turning. When we finished the loop, I praised him for doing a great job and asked if he wanted to do the circuit again. With a little smirk, he asked, "Can I drive to Dunk's?" OF COURSE YOU CAN DRIVE TO DUNKS, WHY IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION? (Sorry, I am a noted Dunks addict.)

Once again, he navigated weird traffic signals and found gaps in traffic, watched for other vehicles, remembered to use his turn signals, and pulled neatly into a parking space. Then he turned to me and asked, "Can we get something?" OF COURSE WE CAN GET SOMETHING, THAT'S WHY WE CAME! (Again, noted Dunks addict.) I sprang for a giant box of Munchkins. (Me: "How many should we get? Your sister and I would both like a couple." Him: "Box of 50?" Me: "Don't you think that's a little excessive?!?" Him: "Seriously, Mom? I can knock back a box of 25 all by myself." Me: *orders a box of 50*)

Honestly, I'm not surprised that he's a reasonable driver. He's always been a little cautious, someone who thinks before he acts, and who evaluates a situation before wading in, so it's no surprise that he's not a daredevil driver who burns rubber at every stop sign. His caution, however, is not a lack of confidence, but rather a source of confidence. He's not afraid of doing something stupid, because he's planned ahead and prepared himself so he won't do something stupid. 

And because of his confidence, I'm also confident. I admit that I expected to be terrified of the responsibility of teaching a teenager to drive. My husband and I had often joked that the whole "teaching the kids to drive" thing would be completely his responsibility, because I would be a basket case trying to do it. Well, it turned out that it's completely my responsibility after all. And I...well, I don't suck at it. I'm calm and reassuring, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job of coaching without scolding. I don't push my foot against an imaginary brake pedal or brace myself against the dashboard, like my mom sometimes did when I was a new driver. (I won't offer any speculation as to whether that reaction was due to my driving skills or my mom's personality.) I do try to offer helpful hints that I learned as a new driver, like putting on your turn signal two telephone poles ahead of the turn, or using the acronym "SMOG" to remember to "Signal, Mirrors, Over the shoulder, Go" when changing lanes, or telling him "point of no return" when approaching a traffic light (I have no idea what the rule for that is; I just instinctively know it after 40+ years of driving). 

You could say that we're learning together, he and I: he's learning to take control, and I'm learning to let it go. And we're both learning to trust that the other one might - just might - know what they're doing. 

Even if he still looks like this in my mind's eye. 

Beginner's Apple Pie (and Pie Crust)

I love eating pie, and I love baking pie. For a very long time, I stuck to a classic pumpkin pie with a store-bought crust because my pie crusts never came out right (they tasted fine, they just didn't hold together or have the right texture). But then the women's group at my church had a baking meeting and one of our members shared her recipe and her tips for baking the perfect crust, and I've never had a crust fail ever since. So I am sharing her expertise with you, along with my basically foolproof apple pie recipe, in case you're ready to dip your toe into the world of pie baking. 

And because I hate it when you have to scroll through 27 pages to find the recipe, I'm posting the recipe at the top, and then the detailed explanation and photos below it. You're welcome!

Never Fail Apple Pie

For the double crust:
2-1/2 cups (310 g) flour
1 tsp salt
2 Tbsp sugar
½ cup lard (or Crisco)
12 Tbsp butter, chilled and cut into ¼-inch pieces
6 Tbsp ice water (more or less as needed for a good consistency)

Sift salt and sugar into flour in a large mixing bowl, then cut in butter and lard using a pastry cutter or two knives. (Do NOT use fingers to crumble!). Sprinkle the ice water over a tablespoon at a time, folding in and pressing together with a rubber spatula. Add just enough water for the dough to hold together (a little crumbly is okay). Avoid overworking the dough. Divide into two balls and flatten into a 4” disk, then wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or up to several days. 

For the filling:

5 cups (about 2.5 lbs) thinly sliced apples

3 Tbsp sugar

3 Tbsp flour

1-2 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp salt

2 Tbsp butter, cut into small pieces

Double pie crust (recipe above)

1 egg white + 1 Tbsp water

granulated or chubby sparkling sugar (optional)

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Place the sliced apples in a large bowl. Sprinkle with the sugar, flour, cinnamon, and salt, and toss gently until evenly coated. Roll out one pie crust and place in the bottom of a deep 9-inch pie plate. Place the apple mixture in the unbaked pie shell. Arrange the small pieces of butter evenly on top of apple mixture. Roll out the second pie crust and cover pie plate, trimming the edges of the crust if needed. Crimp the edges and cut a few slits in the top crust for steam vents.

Mix the egg white with 1 tablespoon of water in a small bowl to create the egg wash, and then brush the top with the mixture and sprinkle with sugar before baking. Bake at 450 for the first 15 minutes, then reduce the heat to 350 and continue baking for an additional 40 to 45 minutes, or until the top is golden brown.

Let the pie cool for 10 minutes before serving. Serve warm or at room temperature, topped with whipped cream, vanilla ice cream, or a slice of cheddar cheese. 

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And now for the extended and illustrated explanation!

My first step, any time I bake or cook, is to collect my ingredients and equipment. I hate it when I'm halfway through a recipe and realize I'm missing - or don't have quite enough of - an ingredient, or that my favorite mixing bowl is in the dishwasher. For this recipe, you will need flour, sugar, salt, lard (you can find shelf-stable lard in the baking aisle of most grocery stores) or Crisco, butter, cinnamon, chubby (also called decorator's) sugar (optional), an egg (you'll only use the white), and some fresh apples. You also need a pie plate (regular or deep dish), a vegetable peeler, a sharp knife, a pastry brush, a sifter or sieve, measuring cups, measuring spoons, a wire whisk (or a fork), a rubber spatula, butter knives, a large mixing bowl, plastic wrap, a large cutting board, a small bowl, and a rolling pin. Highly recommended are a pastry blender, apple corer, a "first slice pie server", and a kitchen scale.  You can use two butter knives like scissor blade instead of a pastry blender if you don't have one, but you can pick one up for about 7 or 8 bucks at Amazon, and even if you only make a couple of pie crusts a year, it's a one-time investment that will save you time and give you better results for a long time. I find an apple corer to be more precise in removing cores that the flat type of slicer/corer, and I also find it easier to cut the apples into thin slices starting with quarter apples rather than eighths, but you can also simply use a knife to slice the uncored apple and then trim out the cores. And finally, the first slice pie server (or first slice pie spatula) is a handy little tool that you can put in the pie plate underneath the lower crust, so when you're ready to serve the first slice, you cut on either side of the protruding edge and lift the piece out neatly and cleanly. I like to use a kitchen scale to weigh flour rather than measuring it, but it is completely unnecessary. 

You can make this pie with two refrigerated store-bought pie crusts, but this crust recipe is really easy and genuinely foolproof (I'm a fool when it comes to pie crust, so I should know), so I encourage you to try making your own. The trick to a good pie crust is keeping everything very cold. Make sure the butter is straight from the refrigerator and the water is icy cold, don't use your hands at all, and you can even chill your mixing bowl in the fridge ahead of time. 

Begin by measuring out 2-1/2 cups of flour, or by weighing out 310g of flour. If you prefer to weigh, place your mixing bowl on the scale and hit the tare button. Sieve or sift the flour directly into the bowl. If you measure, sift or sieve the flour into the measuring cup and level gently for an accurate measurement. Sifting is important to break up any clumps of flour and will make blending in the shortening easier and faster. 

Add one teaspoon of salt and 2 tablespoons of sugar and whisk into the flour with a wire whisk (or a fork). This ensures that the salt and sugar are well distributed. 

If using lard or Crisco sticks, use the markings on the wrapper to measure out 1/2 cup (8 tablespoons). If using Crisco in the tub, fill a 2-cup cup measure with 1 cup of cold water. Using a rubber spatula, scoop Crisco into the cup until the water rises to the 1-1/2 cup mark (1 cup water plus 1/2 cup Crisco). Use a butter knife to hold the Crisco below the surface of the water if needed. Use the rubber spatula to hold the Crisco in place and pour out the water, then add the Crisco to the flour mixture in the bowl. 

Take two sticks of butter out of the fridge and cut one in half with a butter knife. Slice the remaining 1-1/2 sticks (12 tablespoons) into thin slices and add to the bowl. It's really important to keep the butter chilled so it will cut into the flour properly in the next step. If you need to, throw the butter back in the fridge for a few minutes at any point in the process (including once it's been added to the bowl). 

 

Working quickly, use your pastry blender to cut the butter and shortening into small, fairly even-sized chunks. Push the blender down and rock it back and forth, turning the bowl now and then, and use a  rubber spatula to occasionally scrape between the blades of the blender and to scoop the flour up from the bottom and away from the sides into the center so it blends evenly. You can pop the bowl back into the fridge for a few minutes at any point if it feels like the butter is getting soft. With a little practice, this step goes quickly, but it can take a while until you get the hang of it. If you don't have a pastry blender, you can use two butter knives in opposition like the blades of a pair of scissors. This video shows you how to do that. 

Next, we're going to add some ice water. Again, it's important to keep the water very cold, so I use a finger bowl and add some crushed ice, and I use water from the refrigerator's dispenser or let the tap run until it's very cold. Start by drizzling about 3 tablespoons of water over the flour mixture and use a rubber spatula to fold it in, pressing the dough together as you go. Don't be tempted to use your hands to mix! Once that water is evenly blended in, continue adding water one tablespoon at a time, blending well, until the dough just barely comes together without much loose flour, which should be about 6 or 7 tablespoons. 

Use the rubber spatula to press the dough into a ball. You can use your hands a little at this point if you need to. Use a butter knife to cut the dough into two halves. You can use your kitchen scale if you want to, but eyeballing it is usually fine. Press each half into a ball, flatten it into a 4-inch disk (I forgot to flatten mine) and wrap snugly with plastic wrap, then refrigerate for at least an hour, up to overnight. 

While the crust is chilling, make the filling. It takes less than an hour to make, and if you prepare the apples too early they lend to leak out their juice, so give it at least half an hour before you start. Preheat the oven to 450 when you're ready to begin. The recipe I started with calls for "5 cups thinly sliced apples (8 to 10 medium apples), peeled and cored," but I usually get 5 cups from only 3 or 4 good-sized apples. I weighed my apples this time, and I used about 2.5 pounds (before peeling and coring). You can use any kind of apples you like, or even a mixture, as long as the types of apples you use are a similar firmness so they cook evenly. If you use tart apples, like Granny Smith, you may want to add a little more sugar, up to about 1/3 cup. 

Peel and core the apples. Slice each apple in half, then in half again, then slice into 1/4-inch slices with a sharp knife. Press the slices gently into a measuring cup until you have 5 cups. A little over is fine. 

 

Dump the apple slices into a large mixing bowl (I reuse the one I made the pie crust in - I don't even bother to rinse it because they use essentially the same ingredients), then sprinkle with 3 tablespoons sugar, 3 tablespoons flour, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 1-2 teaspoons cinnamon. My family loves cinnamon, so I use the full 2 teaspoons, and in this case, I had some leftover cinnamon-sugar mixture from baking snickerdoodles last week, so I used that as my sugar. You can also use cinnamon-sugar in place of regular sugar in your pie crust - it's delicious with pumpkin pie as well as apple. Toss with the rubber spatula until evenly coated, being sure to break apart any of the slices that stick together. 

 

If using a first slice spatula, place it in the pie plate. Take one dough ball out of the fridge and roll it out on a lightly floured board into a circle a little larger than your pie plate. Drape the circle of dough carefully over your rolling pin and transfer it into the pie plate, carefully pressing it into place. 

 

Pour the apple mixture into the pie plate, then cut 2 tablespoons of cold butter into small pieces and arrange evenly over the apples (you can use softened butter but it's harder to dab over the apples). (I forgot to take a photo of this part; sorry.) Take the second dough ball out of the fridge, roll it out, and lay it over the top of the apples. Trim off any excess crust and crimp the edges together to seal. You can use your fingers or the tines of a fork to make a fancy pattern if you like. (King Arthur Flour has a great video demonstrating a few different techniques.) Use a sharp knife to make a few slits in the top of the crust to release steam. I was pressed for time so I didn't roll out my top crust as carefully as I should have and needed to patch it a little. It won't look quite perfect, but trust me when I say that no one will mind. Baking doesn't have to be perfect! Don't worry if your crust needs some mending, too. 

Separate an egg by cracking it carefully on the edge of a bowl, then holding it upright and popping off the top half of the shell so the yolk stays in the lower half of the shell and most of the white runs out into the bowl. Pour the yolk into your other hand and let the remaining yolk drip between your fingers into the bowl. Place the yolk in a separate bowl to use for another recipe. (I throw it in with scrambled eggs the next day, or I use it as an excuse to make challah or creme brulee.) Add one tablespoon of water to the egg white and stir to combine. Use a pastry brush to fully coat the crust with the egg white wash, then sprinkle with white or decorator's sugar before baking. Both of these steps are completely optional, but they give the baked pie an elegant finish that looks super professional! 

Place the pie on the center rack of the pre-heated 450-degree oven and bake for 15 minutes, then reduce the oven temperature to 350 and bake for an additional 40-45 minutes, until the top is golden brown. Check the crust during baking, and if the edges begin to get too brown, carefully cover them with foil for the remainder of the baking time. (I can never get the foil to stay on, so I don't bother and my crust has never gotten burned.) Let the pie cool for 10 minutes before serving. Serve topped with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, or slices of cheddar cheese. It tastes best served warm or at room temperature. Cover any leftovers tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate. I'd tell you how long it keeps in the fridge but in my house it usually disappears in less than 12 hours. 

Happy baking!