The Perks of Kid-Dom

Herb was working from home today, so we decided that the three of us would grab a quick lunch down the street at Friendly’s. It was the first time we’d ever actually ordered something for Ryan off the kids’ menu (it was just milk, but still), so it was the first time in a really long time that I’d looked at a kids’ menu. And I realized that adults are really getting the short end of the stick.

To start off with, Ryan’s menu was shaped like a video game controller. My menu was a boring rectangle. His came with a box of crayons. Mine came with silverware wrapped in a napkin.

The options on his menu were way cooler than mine, too. I glanced at his breakfast menu. Did you know that you can get pancakes with M&Ms in them at Friendly’s? Well, by “you” I guess I mean “Ryan”. They certainly weren’t an option on my breakfast menu. My coolest option was Eggbeaters.

We both ordered a glass of milk to start off with. His came in a glass with cartoon characters all over it. Mine came in a glass that said “Friendly’s”. Mine came with a boring, straight, clear plastic straw. His came with a large-bore, bendy, bright orange straw that turned blue when he sucked milk through it.

His dessert options were a lot different from mine, too. My options pretty much looked like this:

His generally looked more like this:

I’m the first one to admit that being a baby can be pretty tough at times. You can’t tell people what you want. You have no choice in what you eat or what you wear or what toys you get to play with or when you go to sleep. You have to put up with teething and diaper rash and occasionally sitting in your own poop. You often fall over without warning. Your hands and feet don’t always do what you want them to. It can all be very frustrating. But boy, when it comes to dining out, you’ve got it made!