The 13 Things That Men Find Sexiest About Women

Yesterday I stumbled across an online article that listed what it claimed to be “The 13 Things That Men Find Sexiest About Women”  (http://photos.essence.com/galleries/the_13_things_men_find_sexiest_about_a_woman) Out of sheer curiosity, I clicked on the article, wondering if they’d have anything new to say. Here is their list, along with my take (and my self-rating) on each “Thing.”

13. Fit Legs

There are “breast men” and there are “butt men,” but this article claims that there are also “leg men.” Considering the popularity of the micro-miniskirt, I have to admit that this one is very much true. Which makes me happy, as, among my many figure flaws, I also happen to also have legs up to my neck. Lousy when trying to buy pants, but apparently great when it comes to making my husband happy. And that’s a good thing. My score: +1. No, I’ve got a pair of great legs – make that +2.

12. Unshakeable Faith

Faith. Yes, in God. I was both surprised and delighted to find this on their list. But anyone whose faith is so deep-rooted that their moral code, their philanthropic practices, their view of their fellow man, and their personal way of living life is unchanged by the chaotic world around them – that’s sexy. +1 for me.

11. Mean Shoe Game

Shoes? Okay, the article commented that “Five- to six-inch heels will get his attention,” so they’re talking about a very specific kind of shoes. They are right in that a man can’t fail to notice a woman in five- to six-inch heels because she’ll either be towering over him or falling into his lap after lurching gracelessly across the room. Possibly both in rapid succession. I’m already plenty tall and I have bad feet so although I have a terrific and extensive shoe collection, there’s nary a six-inch stiletto in the bunch. Score me -1.

10. A Pleasant Scent

I know exactly what my husband smells like, even if I can’t name the brand of aftershave, cologne, or body wash that he uses. But if I ever smelled his scent on someone else, I would immediately think of him. And there is no doubt in my mind that he recognizes my signature scent, as well. (It’s Estee Lauder’s “Pleasures,” just for the record.) Another bullseye, and another +1 for me.

9. Ample Derriere

I don’t know if this is true, but I’m going to pretend it is, even if it’s not. Nothing adds junk to your trunk like having a couple of babies after age 40. +1.

8. Patti Labelle Skills

I’m vaguely confused by this one, because apparently they’re referring to cooking. I wasn’t aware that Patti Labelle could cook, but I’ve been known to sing in the kitchen so I’m giving myself credit either way. In fact, I’m giving myself +2. Just because I can.

7. Select Cleavage

I appreciate that they modified the word “cleavage” with the word “select.” Showing a lot of cleavage, in my opinion, is tacky and downright unattractive. But just a hint of tasteful cleavage can be very alluring. For me, this is the flip side fringe benefit of having kids: I may have a bigger butt and a thicker waist, but I also have cleavage. Subtle cleavage, but cleavage. Subtle enough that I have to be honest and give myself a zero. But at least it’s not the -1 it was pre-babies.

6. Understated Confidence

There is a very fine line between confidence and arrogance. Lucky for me, I am nowhere near crossing that line. In fact, my confidence is so understated that it’s pretty much non-existent. I’d better give myself a -1.

5. An Adventurous Spirit

Before I met my husband, I would not have considered myself that much of an adventurous spirit. But with him by my side, I’m game for a lot of things I never would have done before. I’ve tried more new foods than I can count since I’ve met him. I’ve ridden in a tiny catamaran, I’ve tried kayaking, I’ve held discussions with sommeliers, I’ve even learned to drive a minivan. Heck, I’m raising two kids. Doesn’t get more adventurous than that. +1.

4. Exposed Back

Based on the number of backless designer gowns that make an appearance at every Hollywood gathering of the rich and beautiful, I guess a lot of people think that backs are sexy. And one of the first compliments I ever got from a relative stranger was when I was wearing a backless dress for a show I was in, and an acquaintance came up to me and whispered, “I hope this doesn’t sound weird, but you have a very sexy back.” It did sound weird, but I appreciated it nonetheless. And since my husband has echoed that sentiment on numerous occasions, not to mention pointing out and/or buying me a number of backless or nearly-backless dresses, I’m scoring myself another +1.

3. Genuine Happiness

This one has to be a no-brainer on any list. Who doesn’t find genuine contentment, genuine joy in life, genuine, sincere happiness to be an incredible turn-on? And for all that I have many moments of existential crises on a regular basis, on the whole I consider myself a genuinely contented and happy person. I’ll give myself another +1.

2. The Hip to Waist Curve (waist 70% or less of hip)

Yup, curviness is sexy. Big, voluptuous women are just as attractive as – or often more attractive than – their slender but equally curvy counterparts, and they’re definitely sexier than their slender and less curvaceous counterparts. Which would be me, which is why I get a -1.

1. Using His Name

I have to say I disagree with this one. Everyone calls me by my name; only my husband calls me by a pet name, and I find it VERY sexy. I’m sure he does as well. But to be fair, since I never use his given name, I definitely have to score myself a -1 on this one.

So what’s my total score? A very mediocre 5. But since my husband thinks I’m the sexiest thing since sliced bread, I have to conclude that this scale is immensely flawed. So here’s the real scale of sexiness that makes me a perfect 10 in his book:

5. Love and Support His Children

Not just the ones we have together, but the one he had before we met. I know it means a lot to him that I cheer his daughter on, encourage her in what she wants to pursue, and support him spending time with her. Understanding that there are other parts to his life besides me is very sexy. +2

4. Be the President of His Fan Club

I support my husband in everything he does, and I do my best to make sure he has the time and energy to do it. I don’t complain when he spends weekends away because of avocational commitments, or when I’m alone some evenings because he has rehearsals. I go to see the shows he’s in whenever I can, I offer to co-host or help coordinate events he organizes as much as possible, and I act as a sounding board whenever he asks me to. And in return, he moves heaven and earth to make my outside activities happen. +2

3. Dress to His Taste

I’m not necessarily a huge fan of leopard print, but I recently bought myself a leopard print shirt because he loved it. I sometimes wear shoes that make my feet hurt because when I put them on, he purrs. Literally. He bought me a big kitschy pearl bead cocktail ring a few months ago and I didn’t love it when he bought it, but I’ve worn it on several occasions, and I have to admit that it’s really growing on me. In fact, everything he’s ever bought me, clothes and jewelry, even if I didn’t love them at first, I’ve grown to love. Or at least I’ve grown to love how much he loves them. And since I see myself in the mirror once for 20 seconds before we go out and he has to stare at me all night, that seems like a pretty fair deal. And the compliments I always get from everyone else when I’m wearing what he bought me are pretty nice, too. +2

2. Tell Him HE’S Sexy

Men are supposed to tell their wives all the time that they’re beautiful. But no-one expects women to tell their husbands that they’re handsome. Luckily, my husband is very handsome and very sexy, and I try to never miss an opportunity to tell him so. He rocks my socks whether he’s wearing a white dinner jacket (rowr!), white tie and tails (double rowr!), a cashmere sweater and nice khakis, or a ratty old undershirt and boxers. And he smells good, too. I tell him that a lot. +2

1. Love Him

The sexiest thing in the whole entire world for either sex is to be loved, respected, and adored. I try to show my husband that I love him as well as telling him, by making his favorite dinner, offering him a backrub after a long day, giving him space when he needs it, and occasionally just plain shutting my yap for a while (that might not sound especially loving, but I’m saving him from having to tell me to shut my piehole, so that’s actually kind of a big deal). But I tell him a lot, too. I waited a very long time for him to come into my life, and I’m so glad that he did. I tell him that a lot, too. +2

There it is: my perfect 10.