Sunday, May 12, 2013

Words Aren't Enough

English is an amazingly expressive language. But sometimes words simply cannot adequately express the emotions of the human heart. This weekend I have learned the inadequacy of both the word “horrifying” and the word “grateful.”

On Friday night, I lived every mother’s nightmare of seeing my child floating limply face down in a pool. “Horrifying” is not enough.

I performed CPR on my own baby. “Horrifying” is not enough.

I watched helplessly as medical teams put tubes into her lungs and stomach, seemingly endlessly poked her with needles and IV lines, strapped her into a nightmarish neck immobilizer, and put restraints on her wrists. “Horrifying” is not enough.

But thanks to the instant and universal connection of e-mail, text messaging, cell phones, and Facebook, my child and my family were lifted up in prayer by family, friends, friends of friends, and strangers all over the world. “Grateful” is not enough.

My sister- and brother-in-law and their family took in my son without hesitation or question and offered to keep him as long as needed. “Grateful” is not enough.

Innumerable friends and family offered to babysit my son at any time. “Grateful” is not enough.

I woke this morning to literally hundreds of well wishes from friends and strangers alike, sending messages of reassurance and hope. “Grateful” is not enough.

I woke this morning to find that the EEG leads had been removed and a compassionate nurse had carefully washed my daughter’s hair and put it into pigtails so she looked more like my little peanut and less like the work of a mad scientist. “Grateful” is not enough.

A compassionate doctor took the time to explain the various procedures that my daughter would be undergoing, gave us a realistic picture of the possible outcomes, and answered all our questions. “Grateful” is not enough.

So to all those from Djibouti to Serbia, from Tennessee to Pennsylvania, from Haverhill to Belmont, from the Waltham EMTs to the medical staff at Boston Children’s Hospital, from the churches and synagogues who are lifting us up in your prayers at this very moment, all you who have loved and prayed for and supported us over the past few days, I say from my heart, “Thank you and God bless you all.” Even though those words are not enough.

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