Lent Photo a Day: Truth

I read an article the other day in which the author declared, “I’m not a liar. But Facebook is.” She went on to say that the image of her life, as created by her Facebook comments and photos, was much rosier than her actual life. In a way, she was creating a lie about herself.

This is probably true of most of us. We use social media mostly to share happy moments, to revel in our small (and large) successes, to announce good news. We occasionally gripe or vent or complain, but despite that, most of us unintentionally post an incomplete picture of our lives, and one that paints us as happier, more successful, and more fulfilled than we actually are.

So today, I am going to admit some truths that aren’t always seen on my Facebook or my blog pages.

I love my kids, but some days they drive me crazy. Like, crying in the bathroom crazy. Like, sending them to their room so I can calm down crazy. Like, meeting my husband at the door with my car keys in my hand at the end of the day crazy. 

It took me years – literally years to potty train my kids. I fake my way through a lot of parenting. I act like I know what I’m doing, but I’m totally flying by the seat of my pants. I let my kids watch TV and play with their Kindles a lot more hours of the day than I should. Sometimes I don’t take them outside to play because I don’t feel like going outside. I don’t offer them vegetables as often as I should.

I love my husband – a LOT – but there are times when I really, really want to punch him in the nose. Or at least Gibbs-slap him for being clueless. Sometimes we yell at each other, usually about stupid stuff. When I get mad at him, I do stupid, childish, passive-aggressive things like making him get his own dinner plate, even though I bring everyone else’s to them. Or I bring everyone’s clean laundry upstairs and leave his in the laundry room or on the stairs. (I strongly suspect he has never noticed either of these things, but it makes me feel better, in a petty, vindictive kind of way.)

I am terrified of home schooling. Even though part of me knows I am perfectly qualified to do it, at least for a few years, another part of me is sure that I’ll leave him unprepared for life and he’ll end up in some boring, dead-end job because I didn’t teach him to use a ten frame properly.

I make it a joke on Facebook, but I really do let my kids run around without pants on a lot of the time. And there are still a lot of days when we don’t change out of our pajamas until after lunch. Sometimes we don’t brush our hair or teeth till then either. And sometimes not even then.

I let them do stuff they probably shouldn’t, like climbing up the stairs on the other side of the bannister, or sliding down the bannister, or going outside with bare feet or no coat when it’s only 45 degrees out, or riding their bikes in the driveway without a helmet.

So my life’s not quite as perfect as it probably seems on Facebook. But it’s still pretty good. And that’s the truth.

Truth.

Throwback Thursday

Facebook is always something of a mixed blessing. There are posts that make you laugh and posts that make you shake your head. There are conversations that cement friendships and conversations that end them. There are trends that you look forward to and trends that make you want to poke yourself in the eye with a rusty spork. Throwback Thursday is a trend that can sometimes be both.

I love it when an old friend posts a TBT photo of themselves at the age when I knew them best: high school friends posting high school photos, college chums posting college photos, childhood buddies posting childhood photos. The memories of our shared friendship come rushing back. But sometimes an old friend posts a photo of one of their KIDS at the age when I knew the old friend best. And to be perfectly honest, that kind of freaks me out a little. Because it reminds me that I’m growing older. (Not old, just older.)

Oddly enough, when a friend who’s around my age has a birthday, it doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t remind me of my own birthday. But when their children start having milestones, like turning 12 (or 16, or 21), or getting their driver’s license, or going off to college, it reminds me of how quickly time is passing by. I remember so clearly passing all those milestones myself – but wasn’t that just last week? Or at most, last year? The number on the calendar doesn’t bother me; it’s all that time that’s gone racing by that has me worried.

Time really does speed up the older you get. Remember when you were a kid and summer vacation seemed to last for years? Now that you’re an adult, blink and you missed it. Spending an hour on the playground felt like a month. But when you steal a moment to watch your kids playing on the playground, it seems to flash by in a heartbeat. It used to seem like a century between each birthday; now you can’t believe you’re having a birthday because didn’t you just have one two weeks ago? Time speeds up as it goes by.

But that’s also a reason that I love seeing the old throwback photos: it helps me remember back when time stretched on endlessly. The times when nothing existed in the world besides riding your bike through the woods, or sledding down an icy hill, or playing hopscotch, or having a pillow fight. The times when all you focused on was the fun you were having right now. No worries about what would happen tomorrow, or next week, or next year. No thinking about your future, or trying to solve problems before they happen, or stressing about plans. Just enjoying the moment.

That’s something I need to remember how to do: to just enjoy the moment. There are so many wonderful moments in my life that I spoil by worrying, or being distracted, or by thinking ahead, when I should just take a moment to stop and enjoy the now. So instead of letting Throwback Thursday remind me how quickly time is passing, I’m going to try to use it to remind myself to stop and enjoy it. Maybe that will slow it down, just a little.

And even if it doesn’t, at least it might remind me that it’s a good thing time didn’t stop at that particular moment…