What I'm Thankful For

Today is Thanksgiving, a day when we traditionally gather with family and friends and share a large meal, often featuring long-time family favorite dishes: Aunt Margaret's green bean casserole, Cousin Carrie's buttermilk rolls, Grandma Jean's pumpkin chiffon pie. It's also a day when we think of the many things for which we are thankful. Many families even go around the table before dinner, reciting what they are thankful for. The list frequently includes things like family, health, a new job or promotion, academic success, a new baby or spouse. And those are all wonderful things to be thankful for. But sometimes we forget to be thankful for the many little things that are around us so often that we take them for granted. So this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for all the many tiny blessings that fill every day of the year. 

Coffee. The smell of coffee in the morning, especially when my husband brings me a cup in bed (which happens approximately 360 days of the year), is one of the small great pleasures of my life.

My cats. The charming and silly antics of my cats, who are always happy to see me, are an endless source of amusement.

Books. Hardcover, paperback, Kindle, audible; purchased, borrowed from a friend, checked out of the library, acquired via the Libby app; fiction, nonfiction, biographies, memoirs, manuals. The written (and heard) words of another person transport me to another place and time, granting me a delicious mental escape from whatever is troubling or tiring me. Books are good for my soul.

Birds. Watching my backyard birds, especially those that visit my Bird Buddy, which allows me up close and personal photos and video, is my favorite way to start my day. Their vibrant colors, their bright eyes, their quirky behaviors, and their year-round presence connects me with the natural world around me and reminds me of the endless variety of wonders in God's creation. 

Wildlife. The animals that wander through my yard, including grey and red squirrels, chipmunks, groundhogs, deer, opossums, raccoons, skunks, rabbits, red and grey foxes, coyotes, feral cats, and various types of toads and frogs and salamanders and snakes. I love sharing my home with them (well, my yard, anyway).

 

The sky. The beauty of the night, with its moon, stars, planets, and meteors; the beauty of the day, with the sun and an endless variety of clouds. The sky is ever-changing and yet always familiar. It satisfies my need for both change and familiarity. 

Travel. I am privileged to have traveled extensively with my family, both within the US and overseas. I'm thankful that my children are excellent travelers who rarely complain and are willing to try new foods and experiences. I'm thankful for a husband who is an excellent planner and possesses a remarkable sense of direction, both of which are essential for efficient and safe travel. 

Food and drink. I'm thankful for the pleasures of food and drink in their endless variety. I'm thankful that not only do I have enough food for my needs, but I have delicious and different foods to keep my palate entertained as well as my belly full. I am thankful for the gift of preparing delicious food for family and friends, and also the opportunity to enjoy food prepared by others with more culinary skill and creativity than I. 

Fire. I am thankful for both its warmth, indoors and out, and its soothing, calming, hypnotic rhythm that relaxes body and soul.

Family talents. I'm thankful for my children's talents, and for the enthusiasm and dedication they show as they work to develop and hone their skills. I am thankful that they have skills that I share, and skills that are foreign to me. I am thankful that I have learned to appreciate both. 

Modern medicine. Without caring and gifted doctors and surgeons, compassionate nurses, and affordable and effective insurance coverage, I would be much less physically functional than I am. Without medications discovered by determined researchers backed by generous donors, I would be in constant pain. I am thankful for the many advances in medicine that allow me to live my life as I do. 

Lobster. And risotto. I know they're part of the whole "food and drink" thing, but they deserve separate mention.  

As does chocolate. 

Transportation. I have access to many modes of transportation: feet, bike, car, taxi, Uber, bus, train, airplane, ferry, cruise ship. I can get to places within a matter of hours that would have taken my ancestors (and even my grandparents) days, weeks, or months. 

Hats. I love wearing hats, and I love seeing other people in hats. I can feel blah and boring, but when I pop on a pretty, cheerful hat, the whole world looks prettier and more cheerful. Hats make me happy. 

Shoes. Fun shoes make me happy, too. 

Long-time friends. It's great to make new friends at any age, but the friends who've known you since you were a gawky tween or even an awkward child but still want to be friends with you? That's a blessing like no other. 

Live theatre. It's a very rare weekend when there isn't some production or other running within an easy drive of my home. Musicals, plays, concerts. And many gorgeous venues hosting them all. 

My family. This is both a big thing, and a little thing. These people are the delight of my heart and soul. Their presence in my life makes me happy. They bring me joy by their mere existence. And that is what I am ultimately thankful for on this day. 

I wish you all the presence of loved ones who bring you joy, on this Thanksgiving Day and on every day. 

Tradition and Technology

I started to title this blog entry “Tradition Vs. Technology,” but then I realized that it isn’t really a case of one against the other; it’s a case of combining the two. Let me back up a bit and explain.

Tomorrow, of course, is Thanksgiving Day. Since we are hosting dinner this year, this means that I get to make a full-scale, turkey-and-all-the-fixins dinner. This is not said with this slightest bit of sarcasm; I honestly love making Thanksgiving dinner, and I often wish we had a larger family to share it with. We have five adults and two kids for dinner and I’m thrilled to death that my sister-in-law and her family (who are usually out of town on Thanksgiving) will be joining us for dessert, for a total of 11 people.

I’m just old-fashioned enough that feeding people a fresh, home-cooked meal satisfies my desire to be hospitable. I made a pumpkin pie from the recipe my mom and grandmother used to use. I cut in the Crisco with a pair of butter knives, just like they used to, and just like my mom taught me when I still needed a stepstool to reach the kitchen table. The dishes on the menu are exactly the same dishes that my mom made for Thanksgiving dinner throughout my childhood: turkey, real mashed potatoes, gravy from a powdered mix, squash with butter and brown sugar melted into it, a giant bowl of green peas with a big pat of butter melting on top, creamed onions in a simple white sauce, bread stuffing made from the family’s recipe.

But I’m not too old-fashioned to take advantage of some modern technology to make my life easier. I made the onions in advance and will be warming them up in the microwave. Instead of squinting to read recipes written by hand on index cards now splattered with turkey grease and squash, I read them from my Kindle Fire. I kept my kids busy and out of my hair while I cooked by putting a Disney movie in the DVD player. My mom kept lists of her annual menu along with cooking notes in a faded wire-bound notebook; I keep mine on my computer.

And I love the way tradition and technology work together. By saving family recipes on my computer and my Kindle Fire, I am preserving my family traditions for my children and my children’s children. They might not have the experience of cooking a meal from recipe cards stained with physical evidence of Thanksgivings past, but they will have the experience of enjoying the same meal that their forebears did. The more that technology worms its way into every facet of our lives, the more important it is to find ways to use that technology to preserve history, both general history and our own personal histories. My children may not have had the opportunity to know my mother personally, but they do have the opportunity to know her through the legacy that she has passed along through her recipes, her traditions, and her hospitality. And I can’t wait until I can teach both of them how to make pie crust by cutting in the Crisco using two butter knives.

 

Thanks. Giving.

My pastor opened her sermon today by recalling a Thanksgiving season a few years ago when she was idly reading magazine headlines in line at the grocery store. The giant banner headline on one of the magazines proudly proclaimed: “Happy Thanksgetting!” The associated article encouraged readers to splurge on themselves as a way to celebrate the holiday. Our society, which is so focused on getting things for ourselves, and on getting more and more things, has one day in the year when we focus on being thankful for what we have and on sharing our bounty with others, especially those less fortunate than ourselves, and this magazine was attempting to turn it into yet another day of self-centeredness, consumerism, and greed.

Instead of changing the holiday from Thanksgiving to Thanksgetting, the pastor went on, we as Christians should change the day from Thanksgiving to “Thanks. Giving.” We should not only be giving thanks for what we have, but we should be sharing what we have with others. After all, the first Thanksgiving was a meal where the Pilgrims shared the bounty of their harvest with those who had helped them attain that bounty, and also where the native Americans shared the bounty of their own hunting and agricultural skills. They were thankful for what they had, and they were sharing what they had with others.

There is nothing wrong with spending the Thanksgiving season being grateful for our health, our family, our jobs, our homes, and our clothes. But how much richer the holiday is when we also share what we have. This Thanksgiving, as I think of how thankful I am that my children are healthy, I will take a few dollars that I might have spent on buying them yet another toy or another outfit that they really don’t need, and give it to a cause that will help other children stay or get healthy. As I buy all the fixings for our Thanksgiving dinner, I will buy some extra for those families who struggle to put even a simple meal on the table. As I enjoy having my husband home from work for the holiday, I will remember all those who are home every day because they can’t find jobs, and I will search through my closet for my “work clothes” that I no longer need and give them to someone who doesn’t have appropriate clothes for a job interview.

I will be thankful, and I will give. Because that’s a wonderful and meaningful way for me to celebrate this holiday: Thanks. Giving.

A Thanksgiving Experiment

Yesterday I received an invitation from my pastor to participate in a program called “30 Days of Thanksgiving”. The challenge invites the participants “to make a covenant with God and with those who are participating three promises to keep during each day of these 30 days.


• Find a person/cause to express thankfulness in person and/or with writings. Tell them reasons for your thanksgiving.

• Write 3 things for which we are thankful to God. Post this on places where you can see.

• Keep a daily journal of thanksgiving. This can be a short reflection/prayer. Write not only your thanksgiving but also places/circumstances in which you were challenged to be thankful.”

Looks pretty easy at first glance, right? Tell someone that you’re thankful for them, think of three things you’re thankful for, and reflect on giving thanks and its challenges. Piece of cake.

Piece of cake for the first few days, anyway. Maybe even for the first week. But think about the numbers as you get toward day 30. Thirty different people or causes that you’re thankful for. NINETY things that you’re thankful for. Writing down what you’re thankful for every day for thirty days. That’s a lot!

And yet, aren’t Christians called to be thankful every day? How many of us are really, truly, consciously thankful each and every day? I’ll step up and admit that I’m not. I’ve got an awful lot to be thankful for – a wonderful family, a comfortable home, a loving husband, good health, financial stability – and yet there are days when I go to bed feeling decidedly unthankful. So I’m grateful for this little kick in the pants to refocus my thinking in the direction of thankfulness.

So, starting on Monday, I will be using my blog to fulfill this challenge. I am charging you, my readers, to keep me accountable. It won’t be easy for me to find time to complete the challenge each and every day, but I am publicly committing to do it. For the next thirty days, I will be writing a daily blog entry fulfilling the three challenges outlined above. I have no doubt that the challenge will grow more and more difficult as the time goes by, both in terms of finding subjects and in terms of finding time. But I believe it is a worthwhile challenge, and I look forward to fulfilling it. Come along with me – it should be an interesting month!

What I'm Thankful for This Thanksgiving

Every Thanksgiving, I make a mental list of the things that I’m thankful for in my life. And the older I get, the more the things on that list have ceased to be actual “things” and the more they have become the people and situations that I’ve encountered over the past year. “I’m thankful I got a new car” and “I’m thankful I took that cruise” have turned into “I’m thankful that I’m happy at my job” and “I’m thankful that I had the chance to visit some old college friends”. So here is what I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving.

I’m thankful that all my basic needs are met. I’m thankful that I have a comfortable home, a full pantry, a reliable car, warm clothes, and the option to stay at home with my son instead of having to work full time. I’m thankful that my family has enough to share with others. I’m thankful that every once in a while I have the luxury of splurging on a nice dinner out with my sweetheart, or buying that pair of shoes that I don’t exactly need but just have to have, or getting the good brand of salad dressing or toilet paper or breakfast cereal instead of the lousy generic kind.

I’m thankful that I have an extended family that loves me and supports me. I’m thankful that I have a host of family members I can call on to babysit in a pinch. I’m thankful that I never have to dread an outbreak of family drama during the holidays. I’m thankful that my family-by-birth and my family-by-marriage enjoy each other’s company. I’m thankful that the pain of the recent and untimely death of my brother-in-law is slowly but surely being replaced with the joy of memories of the short time I knew him.

I’m thankful for my beautiful son, who reminds me every day that life is precious and awe-inspiring and miraculous and wonderful. I’m thankful for his inquisitiveness, his sunny disposition, his affectionate nature, and his cute dimples. I’m thankful that he gets his looks from his father and his temperament from me – not that my looks or Daddy’s temperament would be a bad thing, but I’m thankful that he is a perfect mix of me and my husband.

I’m thankful that I have a husband who loves me despite my flaws. I’m thankful that he is patient, thoughtful, generous, compassionate, romantic, kind, and forgiving. I’m thankful that he is a loyal husband, a generous provider, a wonderful father, a devoted son, and a caring brother. I’m thankful that he inspires me to find more of all those qualities in myself.

And looking back a little further than just the past year, I’m thankful that I had the courage, four years ago, to take my destiny into my own hands and take a leap of faith by signing up for an online dating service. I’m thankful that I met a few interesting people, dodged a few whackaloons, and collected enough stories of the good, the bad, and the ugly to write a book about my experiences. I’m thankful that even if no-one else ever reads that book, writing it was both a growing experience and a satisfying artistic outlet for me. But most of all, I’m thankful that those dating experiences brought me my wonderful husband, for whom I would gladly re-live every sweaty-palmed first date, every phone call from a whackaloon, and every awkward moment I endured in my dating life before my Prince Charming arrived.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

Today, I am Superwoman. I am wearing so many hats that you can’t even see my head. I am mother supreme, I am master baker, I am prolific author, I am seamstress extraordinaire, and I am professional chanteuse. Fortunately, I am also an organizational whiz, otherwise I would never get everything done that needs doing today.

Ryan has been a bit clingy and whiny over the past few days, so he’s claiming a bit more attention than he otherwise might. And since he’s had a few babysitters lately and will be having a bunch more next week, I feel the need to give him extra cuddles and snuggles to reassure him that Mommy isn’t going anywhere. I want to be certain he feels secure and loved, even more so than usual. (Daddy would probably say I’m spoiling him a bit and he’s just fine – which of course he is – but that’s why babies have Mommies AND Daddies.) So instead of just letting him whine in his playpen for a few hours while I get other things done, I’m spending a lot more time playing with him, sitting and reading with him, and just generally keeping him company.

Next on the list is my one make-ahead item for Thanksgiving dinner: Parker House rolls. I love Parker House rolls. No, that’s not exactly true. I ADORE Parker House rolls. I could probably live for a week, quite happily, on nothing but Parker House rolls. And I have fond childhood memories of having Parker House rolls at family get-togethers like Easter, Christmas, birthdays, and of course, Thanksgiving. So since the pies are being contributed by various family members, I decided the one thing I’d make completely from scratch for Thanksgiving dinner (I’m not counting heating the veggies or gravy or even cooking the turkey or making the stuffing – there’s very little culinary finesse involved in those) would be a batch of fresh Parker House rolls. Making these rolls is not especially difficult, but it is time-consuming. And not just time-consuming, but time-dependent, since there are long pauses while the dough rises but when it’s ready, it has to be dealt with NOW! (Motherhood has prepared me well for that kind of demand, actually.) So as soon as Ryan went down for his nap, I went to work scalding and measuring and kneading. And providing that Ryan’s nap schedule cooperates (ha!), I should be able to get in the next step right before he wakes up from his nap and starts demanding his lunch.

And until that stage is reached, I have a few minutes to get my blog going. I often think about ideas for a blog entry at random times of the day or night, as something strikes me. Sometimes I even lie in bed at night, mentally composing the next day’s blog. (Sometimes I even remember them the next morning!) And then some days, I sit in front of a blank Word document and discover that my mind is just as devoid of ideas as the screen in front of me. Fortunately, most of the time all I need to do is mentally review the previous day and there’s something that Ryan did that is fertile material for a blog entry. And today was one of those days when I did have a nervous moment staring at the screen – but even while I was staring, my inside voice was reminding me, “You need to check the rolls! You need to finish that hem! You need to memorize your lyrics!” And I knew what today’s blog would be. So here I am, inviting all of you into the glorious chaos that is my life.

If by some chance I manage to finish this entry and the rolls aren’t ready for the next step and Ryan is still napping, I’ll have a chance to jump back into my role as seamstress. As many of you who know me personally are aware, for the past few years (with the exception of last year, when I was kind of busy with a new baby), Herb and I have performed in the Reagle Music Theatre’s annual Christmas production, “It’s ChristmasTime!” This is a wonderful show that I look forward to every year. Herb and I first performed in the show together when we were just dating, so it will always have a special place in my heart. But aside from that, it is a show full of wonderful performers who are also my dear friends, and it is a show full of wonderful Christmas music, both familiar and a bit less common. And it is a delightfully festive way to begin the Christmas season, both for the audience and for the performers. The interesting thing for the performers is that every year, the cast is a mix of new performers and cast members who have done the show for ten, fifteen, even twenty or more years. It’s a joy to us veterans to watch the newbies flounder but then find their feet, to recall our own moments of terror and feeling of unpreparedness, and to reassure them that no-one will notice if they sing the wrong words, and that if they forget where to go next someone will nudge them into the right spot.

But part of the challenge in having so many newcomers in the cast is that they all have to somehow get costumes. Reagle has a pretty extensive stock of costumes, but there is still a limited number of sizes to fit an unlimited number of various-sized bodies. Which means that there are always piles of last-minute alterations. A skirt to be hemmed here, a vest to be let out there, a zipper to be mended, a hook to be re-stitched, a pulled seam to be re-sewn. So after last night’s rehearsal, I found myself heading home with a stack of costumes needing little mends and tweaks. I spent last night taking my seam ripper to this and my needle and thread to that, digging through my sewing box for a length of fabric in the right shade of brown or a hook the right size to fit an existing loop. And this morning most of the pile was still remaining, so while Ryan is either dozing upstairs or curiously peering over the playpen wall to see what I’m doing, I’ll be continuing to sew up a storm until everything in the “to be done” pile is finally in the “done” pile.

The reason that I need to get it all into the done pile today is that we have one more rehearsal tonight, and I need to deliver everything to their rightful owners in case any more tweaks are needed. Which means that as well as finishing all my sewing, I need to polish up my own music. It’s amazing how much two years and having a baby can dissolve blocking and lyrics out of a person’s brain. But I have no doubt that a few more run-throughs and it’ll all be back in my head. (And if it’s not, I’m sure some of the 20-year veterans will nudge me back into the correct spot.)

Hm, did I remember everything? Oh wait – I forgot to put eating on the schedule. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll make up for any missed meals on Thanksgiving Day.

Family Holiday Traditions

With the holidays rapidly approaching (what do you mean, Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK??), the annual juggling of family traditions is at the forefront of many minds. Some families have deeply-ingrained, sacrosanct holiday traditions, others are more casual. But whatever traditions you grew up with and assumed that everyone shared, when you get married you discover differently.

Just figuring out who’s hosting Thanksgiving dinner may be a sticking point with some families. What do you do when your family always gathers at your mom’s house but your husband’s family always gathers at his Aunt Matilda’s house (which happens to be 300 miles away from your mom’s)? Do you kill yourselves having dinner at one home and then driving frenetically to the other for pie? Do you try to convince one of the families to move their celebration from Thursday to either Friday or Saturday? Do you play the newlywed card and insist that everyone come to your house?

What about timing? Are there appetizers beforehand or will that ruin everyone’s appetite? Is dinner served at 1pm or at 6pm? Do guests need to arrive late enough that they had time to watch the parade before leaving home, or do they need to leave early enough to watch the last football game in the comfort of their own living room? Do the hosts have a big enough living room to accommodate all the football fans? And are the non-fans then expected to clean the kitchen, or are they allowed to nap while the footballers lounge on the couch?

And then there’s the menu. You grew up on bread stuffing, your husband grew up on cornbread stuffing – so do you make both? Mashed potatoes or wild rice? Jellied cranberry sauce from a can or whole berry relish made from Grandma’s secret recipe? Pumpkin pie or apple pie? With whipped cream or without? Brine the turkey or baste it?

It seems like no matter what you decide on any of the above questions, someone’s not going to be happy. But then, change is hard. So sometimes it’s best to start a completely new tradition. Our family’s solution is to host Thanksgiving dinner ourselves. The troops are arriving at 1-2pm and dinner is scheduled for 4pm (assuming the turkey cooperates). The menu includes roast turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, jellied cranberry sauce (with the ridges from the can still in evidence), peas, squash, creamed onions, rolls, and both pumpkin and apple pie. Anyone who can’t live without a particular dish that’s not on the menu is welcome to bring it. It might not be the exact family tradition that any of us grew up with, but it’s now officially OUR family tradition. And I know that a lovely time will be had by all – because, after all, it’s family, and it’s Thanksgiving. How can it not be lovely?