High Schoolers Make Me Feel Old

At a certain level, I understand that I am, in fact, middle-aged. I'm slightly over a year away from being 50. I have hot flashes and night sweats. I have to be reminded that 1990 was more than 25 years ago. The music that was popular when I was in high school is now played on the "oldies" station. I'm not young any more.

But I forget that fact often. First, because I have young children, and the parents of my children's classmates are mostly in their 20s. So I look around me and some part of my brain tells me, "Gee, they're all 25, so I must be 25, too!" Second, because I'm low-maintenance enough that I only look in the mirror twice a day (when I brush my teeth), so I forget that's really what I look like and I just remember how I looked back when I was in my 20s and 30s when I spent a lot more time in front of the mirror.

But what reminds me that I'm old is spending time with high school kids.

My new job is working at a high school, so I've spent the past month and a half with about 175 high school freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors. These kids are ages 14-18. Not one of them was born in the 20th century.

Think about that for a second.

I have socks older than these kids. I have CDs older than these kids (not that any of them knows what a CD is). I have spices older than these kids.

Right now, I'm costuming a play they're doing that's set in 1995. This is ancient history to them. This show is to them what Grease was to me when I was in high school. And you know what the really sad thing is? I had to Google what high school kids wore in 1995 because I was already 5 years out of college and in the working world by then. I AM TOO OLD TO HELP THEM WITH THEIR 1995 COSTUMES BECAUSE I WAS ALREADY OLD AND UNCOOL IN 1995.

Another thing that makes me realize I'm old when I'm around them is that I wear an awful lot more clothes than they do. It's been warm for October, but there are still days when it's cool enough that I wear long pants and a long-sleeved shirt. Not so these teenagers. Shorts, t-shirts, tank tops, flip flops...even items of clothing that I also own aren't made of nearly so much fabric. Their t-shirts have lower necklines, skimpier sleeves, and shorter hems. Their shorts are shorter and tighter than what I wore at their age, never mind now. Even the boys wear clothes that boys when I was in high school would only have worn to gym class.

Don't get me wrong, there isn't anything wrong with it. I've only seen one outfit that set off my INAPPROPRIATE!!! meter (a see-through crop top worn over a bra...I saw a young lady wearing it first thing in the morning and then didn't see her again all day, which makes me wonder if it also pinged the INAPPROPRIATE!!! meter of someone with more authority than I). But it is a very significant difference that makes me especially aware of my age.

It's not a bad thing to be aware of my age, though. Because another difference that I notice is their desperate need to be cool, to be liked, to be the same as everyone else. Even in the most confident teenager, there's an awareness of the opinion of others. And there's a sensitivity to the opinion of others.

It makes me appreciate how much, over the years, I've come to develop a certain amount of "I-don't-care-ness." I don't bother to wear my hair in a trendy, high-maintenance style because I don't care to. I wear it in a style that I like, and if anyone else dislikes it, well, I don't really care. The opinion of others matters so much less to me than it did when I was young. I do what I like and I shrug off the opinions of strangers and even acquaintances.

I do care about the opinions of friends, but even my friends are defined differently than they were when I was young. The friends I have now are friends not of chance and opportunity, but of choice and experience. My friends have been tested over time and have passed the test. The friends that are still with me in my middle age are those who have proven themselves to be reliable and faithful and true. They are no longer just the people who happened to sit next to me in homeroom or math or band. Some of them ARE the people who happened to sit next to me in homeroom or math or band, but they're still friends because they've chosen to be - and because I've continued to choose them. They're no longer the fickle friends of my youth.

So being around high schoolers makes me feel old. And I like it.