A Quarantine Meditation: Enough

Yesterday was a hard day. Everyone was a little out of sorts. After nearly a full week of togetherness, we were, quite frankly, getting on each other's nerves.

I went to bed at 9:30 partly because I was exhausted and partly because the damn day just needed to be OVER.

So when I woke up this morning and the clock only read 5:15, it wasn't nearly as painful as it had been yesterday morning when I also woke up at 5:15 but hadn't gone to bed until about 12:15. In fact, when I slipped out of bed, grabbed my bathrobe, and tiptoed downstairs, it felt kind of nice.

I turned the kitchen light on low, grabbed my favorite mug (Edna Mode), chose one of my favorite K-cup flavors (Starbucks toffeenut), and sat down with my mug of coffee to enjoy the peace, and quiet, and darkness.

This moment is a small blessing among a sea of struggles this week, struggles that many of us are dealing with.

Fear.

Uncertainty.

Frustration.

Anger.

So many parts of our lives that we had organized, arranged, mastered, now changing and unfamiliar and needing our attention. No longer do we spend an hour getting our kids ready for school and then not having to deal with their needs for 8 hours. No longer do we head in to work and use familiar equipment and techniques to handle our daily responsibilities, but instead we struggle with slow connection speeds, lack of our usual supplies, software that doesn't work at home the way it worked at work. No longer can we make a quick run to the grocery to pick up that one little thing we need for supper, but instead we have to deal with what we have on hand. No longer can we decide not to make supper tonight, but instead to just go out for dinner. Everything is different. Even when we're managing it well, it takes our focus and our attention in a way it didn't before.

But this is where we are now. This is how life works, for now.

So how do we deal with now?

For me, I'm dealing with it by telling myself that doing the best I can is enough. Teaching my kids something every day is enough, even if it's not what they would have been learning in school. Letting the laundry pile up a little is okay, as long as we all have clean clothes every morning. Making a dinner that everyone will eat and that contains at least some element of nutrition is enough, even if it's not what I would have preferred to make. One of my favorite sayings is, "Enough is as good as a feast." And it's true - enough is plenty. Enough is enough.

So I sit here in the dark, when I could be planning out today's lesson, or scouring my pantry for meal ideas, or sewing the costume I started before this all happened, or running a load of laundry. I could be going beyond "enough." But instead, I'm enjoying the quiet, enjoying my coffee, enjoying the birds singing, enjoying waiting for the sunrise, enjoying taking refuge in the pleasure of putting words down on a page. I'm refreshing myself by letting enough be enough.

And I am reflecting on these beautiful words of comfort, which have always been a reassurance to me in times of uncertainty in my life:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you a hope and a future."

(Jeremiah 29:11)

It's enough.