Exploring My Own House

One of the weirdest things about moving to a new house is figuring out how everything works. What does each light switch control? Where's the button for the garage door opener? How do the shower controls work? Which one is the silverware drawer? How does the intercom system work? Which rooms are controlled by which thermostat? Where's the button to turn on the gas fireplace and does the remote controller work for both fireplaces or only one? How do you turn off the ceiling fan without turning off the light? And on and on.

I took my first shower in the new house today, and it was like a test in engineering design. There are two showerheads, a standard one on the left-hand side and a handheld one on the right. The one on the left has two plain metal knobs above a central metal-and-plastic knob with numbers on it. There is also a kind of cylinder to the right that sticks out a couple of inches, with 3 or 4 heavy black rubber washers around it, which seems to turn both ways. I discovered that turning the left-hand metal knob starts the water, and the more you turn it, the higher the water volume. The right-hand metal knob seems to do nothing, as does the cylinder on the far right. The lower knob with the numbers, however, is magical. It is the temperature control, and the numbers are the water temperature. So unlike my old shower, where I had to turn the knob to roughly the 2 o'clock position, wait for the water to reach full heat, then adjust up and down until the temperature was just right, now all I have to do is set it to just above 95 degrees and it's perfect. Setting it at 100 would probably boil a lobster, which makes nearly 100 just perfect for me. I was super hot and sweaty and wanting to take a cold shower, so I set it to 85, which felt like ice water but which will probably be my husbands' preferred setting. I wasn't able to figure out how to turn on the handheld showerhead, however, and still have no idea what the cylinder things are for. That may be another adventure for another day. Or at least a fun Google search at some point.

One of my other planned tasks for today is to take a complete inventory of the light switches. Quite a few switches seem to belong to devices with multiple switches, as sometimes "up" is on and sometimes "down" is on. A few switches don't seem to control anything, which could mean that a bulb is burned out somewhere, that it's a "phantom switch" that was installed for future use but that doesn't currently connect to anything, or possibly that there's a family somewhere in Australia or Outer Mongolia yelling, "WILL YOU PLEASE STOP FLICKING THE LIGHTS ON AND OFF!!!!" There are also a couple of lights, including the underwater light in the pool, that we have yet to locate the switch for. If my kids dare to approach me with the "I'm bored" speech, they may be assigned the task of sketching a diagram of the entire house with all light switches labeled. That's gotta be good for 2-3 hours, at least.

Another feature of my house that needs to be explored is all the cupboards. This house has huge, open, airy rooms, which made me fear that all our "stuff" would be exposed. But there are cabinets and cupboards and drawers and shelves EVERYWHERE. As I was unpacking our kitchen stuff, I tried to choose logical places for everything to go, based on how big an item was, what "category" it belonged in (pot and bans, baking supplies, canned goods, spices, etc.), how many things would also be in that category, where it was stored in the old house, and where I would be using the item. The decision was easy for some things: the silverware went in the drawer that was the same size and location as the silverware drawer in our old house; ditto the tool drawer, the "long thin serving and cooking stuff" (i.e., serving and stirring spoons, tongs, skewers, spatulas, etc.) drawer, and the candy drawer. But some things didn't have an obviously corresponding location, or the corresponding location was too short/tall/narrow/wide, so I had to make a judgment call. The pots and pans, for example, were stored in a corner cabinet in the old house that corresponded to a cabinet in the new house with a built-in double-decker lazy susan that was all wrong for pots and pans. But right next to that is a cabinet directly below the stove top that didn't exist in my old house (it's where the oven was, which is to the side in the new house), so that's where the pots and pans go. But it's too short for the Dutch oven, which is usually stacked with the strainer insert and the bain-marie, so those now live in a random large cabinet on the other side of the kitchen that also had no equivalent in the old house. Which means that the next time I go to use the Dutch oven, I'll look in the pots and pans cabinet, then remember it doesn't live there, and I'll stand in the middle of the kitchen with my hands on my hips, wondering, "Where did I think was a good idea to put this?" This type of musing will probably continue for at least six months, and at various locations throughout the house.

Speaking of cupboards, there is an upstairs hall closet that completely mystifies me. At first I thought it was a really big linen closet. Except that the master bath has a huge linen closet with sliding shelves, as well as some pretty cubbies underneath the spa tub that look towel-sized. Then I thought it might be intended for cleaning products or toiletries. Except that each of the bathrooms has a large cabinet under each sink that are more than adequate and more convenient. Possibly it's storage space for seasonal clothes like sweaters or swimsuits. Except the shelves aren't divided the way one would expect, plus each bedroom closet has built-in storage for such things. Maybe there isn't supposed to be any storage-type furniture in the bedrooms other than the closet organizers. Honestly, I could probably get rid of all our dressers and still have enough room for all our season-appropriate clothes and throw just a few things belonging to the kids in that closet (heaven knows the walk-in in the master bedroom won't require seasonal changes). I ended up throwing a few over-strong cleaning products that I don't want stored in the kids' bathrooms (Drano, CLR, etc.) in there, as well as a couple of extra boxes of tissues. Maybe that will become the home base for our Costco-sized packs of toilet tissue. Any other suggestions are welcomed. It's still a mystery to me.

I did a few more random things as well, opening and emptying a bunch more boxes, making fresh hummingbird food and filling and hanging my feeder (it's probably not in its permanent home yet; like everything else there needs to be some experimentation to see what works and what I like), even figuring out the convection microwave to warm up leftover pizza for the kids' lunches (I still don't feel right about using a microwave oven with a metal rack in it, but nothing blew up, so I guess it's OK).

So that is how I have been spending my first full day in my new house. And now I am sitting on my couch with a big glass of ice water, looking through my ginormous picture window at my hummingbird feeder and wondering when my first guests will arrive. It will probably take a little while for them to find it and get used to it. You have my sympathy, little hummingbirds. You really do.