The Ugly Cookie Theory

With only a few more days before Christmas, I am getting into full cookie baking mode. Despite the fact that I am not able to share my usual array of cookie plates with friends and family, I am still baking multiple batches of cookies. Last night my husband kept me company while I baked, which meant that he got to be the recipient of the Ugly Cookie.

What is the Ugly Cookie, you ask? Well, if you've ever made rolled cookies - the type where you roll out the dough with a rolling pin and then cut it into shapes with cookie cutters - you know that there is always a little bit of leftover dough that's not quite enough to roll out again. In my family, this dough is used to make an Ugly Cookie.

An Ugly Cookie is often shaped with fingers rather than a rolling pin, flattened out to a thickness similar to the previous cookies in the batch, but in no particular shape. In some cases, it may be rolled with a rolling pin but then cut with a knife into vaguely 4- (or sometimes 3-) sided shapes with at least one "unfinished" side. If it is decorated with sugar or icing, there is rarely any artistic thought put into that cookie. It gets a random sprinkle of sugar or an unformed blob of icing. It lives up to its name.

And what is the fate of the Ugly Cookie? It is certainly not worthy of being added to a cookie plate, meant to be a special gift to others. Cookie Plate Cookies are artistic, carefully and thoughtfully shaped, and beautifully decorated. They are a symbol of the giver's relationship to the receiver: lovely, prized, pleasing. An Ugly Cookie has no place on a cookie plate. Instead, the Ugly Cookie is given to a member of the family, especially one who has helped with the baking process or, as in the case last night, kept the baker company during the whole production process. 

Now, you might think that since the Cookie Plate Cookie is a symbol of the receiver's esteem in the eyes of the giver, that the contrary is true and the Ugly Cookie is a sign of the giver's disdain for the receiver. But in fact, it represents something much greater. It represents the giver's discarding all pretense. It represents the giver's complete trust in his or her relationship with the receiver. It represents the giver's willingness to be vulnerable and to present his or her own imperfections. 

When you receive an Ugly Cookie, the giver is saying, "This is not my best. But I can trust you with less than my best, because I can trust your love for me even when I am imperfect, even when I fail." 

So when I give you these, it means I love you.

But when I give you this, it means I trust that you love me. 

Greater love hath no man than this: that a man lay down his Ugly Cookie for his friend.