Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Please Don't Sees the Charmin

Since I am female, my bathroom sink is naturally covered with various assorted hair, soap, and cosmetic products. I’m relatively low maintenance, but I still have hairspray, several bottles of perfume, facial mask, hair smoothing cream, a bottle of vitamins, a bottle of pain reliever, several prescription bottles, three kinds of toothpaste (adult, child, infant) and three toothbrushes, several water glasses (my son backwashes so I don’t like to share), a hair dryer, and glasses cleaning spray all taking up space on my sink. So when I saw a flier advertising a sale on an over-the-toilet shelving unit, I couldn’t resist. I went and bought it the next morning, and as soon as I got both kids down for their naps, I put it together and rearranged my bathroom. Not only was I able to tuck away all my products, I was even able to create a little “guest area” with a set of hotel soaps, shampoos, conditioners, and even a sewing kit I snagged from some posh hotel, plus an extra roll of toilet paper. And then I stood back and looked at my handiwork.

And immediately realized I had to hide the toilet paper.

Now, I know that everyone uses toilet paper. Everyone knows that everyone uses toilet paper. And yet, there seems to be something innately shameful about toilet paper. Why else would we feel the need to hide that extra roll? We’ve been doing it for decades – probably for centuries. Think about it: didn’t your parents’ house – or at least, your grandparents’ house – have one of these sitting on the toilet tank to hide that extra roll?

Maybe the crafter in your family was more whimsical so you had something with more personality like one of these:

You might even have had holiday and seasonal variations, like these:

Or maybe no-one in your family knitted or crocheted, so you had to make do with a wooden box:

The era of the crocheted TP cozy may have passed, but there are still plenty of contemporary options for hiding the shameful TP roll:

There are even some contemporary TP holders that serve to hide not just the spare roll, but the roll that you are actually using! They leave just enough room for the edge of the paper to peep out, but not so much that the sight of an actual roll of TP will be offensive to anyone using the facilities:

I’m as much of an animal-print fan as the next guy, but I’d be much more embarrassed about having this zebra print TP cover in my bathroom than I would an actual roll of toilet paper. So instead of investing in any of the charming little TP cozies above, I opted to just stick it behind the louvered doors of my new shelves. So if you’re ever at my house and you peep inside the cupboard, please promise you won’t faint when you discover a naked roll of toilet paper. And I promise I won’t faint when I realize that you used it.

Bookmark and Share