I missed most of the Grammys last night, but I was looking
forward to checking out all the red carpet fashions this morning. What a
disappointment!! The vast majority of outfits were downright boring. Even by
Oscar/Tony standards, most of these clothes were dull as dishwater. Look at the
kinds of things that the “mainline” stars (i.e., anyone that I actually
recognized) were wearing.
Adele wore a shapeless gown in basic black with limp hair
and zero accessories. Oh honey, you can do so much better than this!
Andra Day’s gown was a lovely color but it was not well-tailored,
the hem clumped rather than puddling or floating, and the poofy fur stole and
matching shoes were just…weird. And not good weird. Great hair and makeup,
though.
Ariana Grande’s gown was pretty but predictable. Red flared
column, spaghetti straps, train. Yawn.
Ashley Monroe’s gown was a gorgeous color on her but it hung
like someone had tossed the entire bolt of fabric in her general direction and
then snipped off the hem and a huge keyhole decollete. Blah.
Carrie Underwood’s gown was lovely (as always), but combined
with her oddly slicked-back hairdo and overdone spray tan, she landed solidly
in the “meh” category for me this time.
Out of this whole batch, Demi Lovato probably came the
closest to success, in my opinion. For most other red carpets, this look would
have been a win. But it’s entirely too tame for the Grammys. She looks elegant,
mature, and glamourous. But the Grammys are the place to be wild, cutting edge,
and glam (which is NOT the same thing as glamourous). Cut loose a little,
honey. Save this look for the Oscars.
I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Ellie Goulding’s dress at several
high school proms. Pretty, but far from couture. And what’s up with the 1980s
flipped hair?
Kaley Cuoco’s look was a decent concept, but poorly
executed. The vest-style top is baggy at the sides instead of hugging her body,
and the pants are just a hair too long to hang properly. Plus, the whole ensemble
has an unfinished look to it – it needs some kind of polish or accessory to
complete the look. A statement necklace, fabulous bright shoes, or a fancy updo
might have worked wonders.
Kasey Musgraves chose fun colors, but the cut and fabric of
this gown are just fluffy and dull. It’s like a bad Muppet.
Selena Gomez’s gown was another in the “pretty but boring”
category. It’s a lovely color and I like the side cutouts, but the bodice is
just a little bit droopy and again, the look is just too simple and bland for
the Grammys. Save it for the Oscars.
Taylor Swift’s look was a bit closer to what I expect for
Grammy couture: not a tradition gown, and showing off her taut abs and
mile-long legs. I loved the electric pink skirt that opened at the front to
reveal modest, high-waisted briefs, and that ended in a huge soft puddle. But
it clashed with the coral bandeau top, which was a bit too simple. A chunky
necklace incorporating both colors might have been enough to tie the outfit
together and make it work. Bonus points for her new short locks.
Tori Kelly gown’s was one of my favorites, but not for the
Grammys. It’s a gorgeous color, I love the wrap bodice, and the body of the
skirt gives it beautiful structure without stiffness. But it’s Oscar, not
Grammy. Step outside the box!
Now on to a few folks who did get into the spirit of the
Grammys and step outside the box. A few of these were too wild and over the
top, but a few hit just the right notes of outrageous but still fashionable. And
who else to lead off that pack but Lady Gaga?
As terrifying as I found Gaga’s foot-high red satin platforms,
they were a nice nod to the Asian-inspired cobalt blue wrap jacket with swirled
black and silver embroidery and samurai-styled sharp shoulder details. The
fabric held its shape without looking stiff or uncomfortable, and the bright
orange wig and stark, angular makeup were a lovely tribute to David Bowie.
Bella Hadid channeled Morticia Addams in this
plunging-fronted black gown with stark, sleek, middle-parted dark hair and a
wrap skirt with long tails in front. Daring and edgy, as Grammy fashion should
be.
Beyonce attempted to be cutting edge, but I found her look
to be all over the map. The bodice (which did not fit as well as it could have)
reminded me of the schoolmarm blouses that were all the rage in the early 80s,
while the lace detailing and tulle skirt were reminiscent of a wedding gown.
And her slicked-back hair against the full gown threw off her proportions. Not
a successful look for her.
On the other hand, I loved Bonnie McKee’s look. Her cropped
metallic suit with wide-open front was softened by her feminine pale pink waved
hair and adorable pink shoes, resulting in a look that was sultry yet flirty
and revealing yet not over the top. A great Grammys look.
I was fascinated by Skylar Grey’s gown. It began at the neck
with a heavy fabric collar that descended into a semi-see-through bodice of
painted faces that went down to her knees, with see-through fitted arms and a
long, transparent drape falling from her shoulders to the floor. It was both
covered up and revealing, with an exotic look that didn’t quite land in a single
era or ethnicity. The tightly twisted, high bun was the perfect topper.
And here are the completely wild and over the top looks!
This is why I love the Grammys’ red carpet: the insanity. The delicious,
sartorial insanity.
Jacqueline Van Bierk wore a fabulous, futuristic, fairy-winged
concoction that was right off the cover of a fantasy novel. Black leaves
sprouted from her shoulders like wings, a long shiny cape fell from her
shoulders and puddled on the floor, leather gauntlets sported bright pink
feathers, and tiny leaves twined down the front of her transparent bodysuit
providing just enough coverage. Topped with a black and pink ponytail fountaining
from the top of her head and electric pink platform gladiator sandals, Van
Bierk completely embodied the spirit of wild Grammy fashion.
Manika looked like she had stepped directly out of a circus
ring onto the red carpet, wearing a fringed, spangled silver bikini with a
gauzy, near-invisible overlay and silver ankle boots. I’m only surprised she
didn’t arrive riding an elephant.
And last, but by no means least, Dencia takes the cake for
the weirdest (if also the most comfortable) red carpet look of all.
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