Finding My New Normal: Reflections on a Month of COVID-19

One month ago yesterday, March 13, 2020, was the day life changed for me and my family. It was the first day that schools were closed, meaning that my children and I were all at home instead of at school or at work. The official word was that we would only be closed for that one day, and the custodial staff would spend the long weekend thoroughly cleaning and disinfecting the building, and we'd be back to school on Monday.

I didn't buy it.

I brought home some fabric and a pattern that I had been planning to work on, and I cleaned up my office with the expectation that it would be a few weeks before I was able to return. "A few weeks" is turning out to be quite an underestimate.

So what has changed about our lives over the past month? Well, regulations and social behavior have certainly changed. Last month you could go to the supermarket and the only difference from "life as usual" was that there was already a run on toilet paper and paper towels. Being a faithful Costco shopper with a generous-sized pantry, that didn't concern me, as I already had my usual bulk pack of each on hand. That first day you could take the kids to a park or a playground and as long as there weren't a ton of other kids there, not think twice about letting them play. Most workers were still going to the office as usual, just practicing a little more hand-washing and a little less close physical contact. My family even went out to dinner that night at a non-too-crowded restaurant. That first day felt like nothing more than a snow day, without the snow.

Fast-forward to one month later. Now, most people order groceries online - if they're willing to stay up until midnight in an attempt to get a delivery slot, which is most likely three or four if not seven or eight days out - and if they do go to a store, they wear masks and gloves, and stand carefully 6 feet apart on the designated tape lines outside the door, waiting for store personnel to allow in the next customer, making sure the store stays at no more than 40% capacity. The only shoppers who have children with them are those whose children are too young to be left home alone and who have no other adult in their household to watch them. When shoppers get inside, they follow the arrows on the prescribed path, so no-one has to pass another shopper, or even get to close to them. The cashiers at many stores are behind a plexiglass shield, and cash is discouraged or outright prohibited. Sometimes disinfectant wipes are provided both at the entrance, to clean the handles of the carriages, and at the checkout, to clean the card readers. Certain items tend to be low on stock or even out, staple items like flour, yeast, bread, milk, toilet paper, paper towels, Clorox wipes, and hand sanitizer. Many of those items can only be purchased in limited quantities when they are available. Many stores offer early morning hours that are reserved for those over 60 or who are especially vulnerable due to conditions like diabetes, asthma, breathing issues, or a compromised immune system.

Playgrounds are mostly abandoned, some with sad strips of caution tape discouraging their use. Officially, all parks and playgrounds are closed. Occasionally, you will see a family or a bunch of teenagers hanging out at a park, but the police generally stop by and "encourage" them to move along. Teenagers seem to be struggling the most with the concept of "social distancing;" their sense of invincibility tells them that they don't need to stay away from their friends. They don't understand, or perhaps don't think about, how their actions affect others. As much as the media and the adults in their family tell them that even if they don't get sick from the virus (or not very sick), they could transmit it to other people, the elderly or infirm. Or they could transmit it to a friend, who could transmit it to a susceptible family member or friend. The novel coronavirus is like an STD: Getting near one person is the same as getting near everyone they've been near recently.

Younger children are dealing with the changes, too. Going to school has been replaced by some form of homeschool and remote learning. After a month, most teachers have found their "groove," posting weekly assignments and holding regular Google Meets with their students. Being able to see their classmates and their teachers via video link has helped to mitigate their feelings of loneliness and isolation. And having teachers available to answer questions visually, on a whiteboard, is a huge help to many working parents who are struggling to balance working from home with trying to make sure their kids get an education. As a currently non-working parent who's still exhausted from trying to manage two kids' schedules, feed my family three meals a day, and keep my house reasonably clean and neat, I am flabbergasted that any parent can manage all that on top of working full-time (or even part-time). I have the interesting perspective of seeing both the parents' side of the education dilemma and the teachers' side, since I am on the high school staff and am privy to all the planning and strategizing e-mails flying around. I have to give kudos to not only the teachers, but to all the IT professionals who have been helping to get the teachers up to speed on unfamiliar technology, set up laptops and other devices to distribute to families who don't have them, and keep a suddenly overloaded online system up and running.

Going outside is different, too. Even if we're only going for a walk around the neighborhood, we wear our fabric masks, and we cross the street when we see someone coming the other way. Not everyone does either, but a surprisingly high number of people are complying with the governor's request to wear masks whenever we're out in public, and to maintain that 6-foot distance whenever possible. Due to the overload of emergency rooms and urgent care centers with possible COVID-19 patients, parents are hesitating to allow their kids to do some activities that used to be so normal: riding bikes, skateboarding, jumping on a trampoline in the yard. A twisted ankle, a chipped tooth, a broken arm - all practically a rite of passage before - become a much graver concern when treatment means being exposed to many possible - or actual - carriers of the virus.

Speaking of doctor visits, most routine doctor visits have already been either postponed indefinitely or performed as a video meeting or a phone call. I have personally had three doctor visits affected by the current situation: my annual physical, which has been tentatively rescheduled to early August; a visit with my orthopedic surgeon intended to be both a followup on my bunion surgery last summer and a consult to schedule surgery on my other foot, which has been cancelled and will be rescheduled at some undetermined future date; and my every-4-months-or-so appointment with my rheumatologist, which we held by phone consult and will hold by video consult next time, if needed. In addition, my rheumatologist agreed that the risk of being exposed to the virus at a blood lab outweighed the risk of skipping my usual blood work, so that is postponed for a few weeks or more likely a few months, and will most likely be done at a smaller clinic that is not treating COVID-19 patients, rather than at the larger hospital where I usually go.

We're all finding our new normal.

And once this is all over, we'll be finding another new normal. The world will never be the same as it was before. I don't know exactly how it will change, but it will change. We have discovered new ways that we can survive, and thrive. We have discovered how to use some technologies to our advantage. We have hit some economic stumbling blocks (yeah, there's an understatement). Some businesses will go under; others will permanently change their ways of doing business. Some families will be dealing with the financial blow for months and years to come. Our healthcare system, unemployment system, educational system, employment system, even our social behaviors will all be forever changed because of the past few weeks and the weeks ahead. Probably some changes will be an improvement; others will not. But we will survive. Human beings are nothing if not resilient. And hopefully, this crisis will force us to rethink how we live. Hopefully, we can keep the positives that come from the situation, and work to reduce or eliminate the negatives. Hopefully, we can learn from this experience. We may come out sadder, but hopefully, we'll come out wiser as well.