One Man's Trash Is Another Man's Toy

A few nights ago the three of us went out to dinner. Ryan was generally very well behaved, but the service was a bit slow and at a certain point he started to get a bit restless. He wasn’t interested in anything more to eat, and I hadn’t brought any toys with us, so I gave him an empty single-serving plastic milk bottle and a crayon to play with. He was fascinated. He must have spent more than 20 minutes taking the top off the bottle, peering inside, dropping the crayon in, peering inside again, then dumping the crayon out on the table. Lather, rinse, repeat.

The most interesting thing was how intent he was on what he was doing. Sometimes when he plays it’s just random banging on things, enjoying the sounds he’s making but not really paying all that much attention. But he was very deliberately examining the bottle, figuring out that the crayon had to be turned the long way to fit inside the neck, discovering that he had to twist the cap to make it come off, and figuring out what angle he had to tip the bottle at to make the crayon slide out again. I could practically see the wheels turning inside his head. Earlier in the evening he had been paying attention to the other patrons, the servers walking by, and the ceiling fans overhead, but once he started playing with his milk bottle, he could have been the only person in an empty room for all the attention he paid to his surroundings.

I’ve said many times that he is really the master of finding amusement in whatever happens to be around him, and that night was simply further proof of that. He has fun exploring his toys, discovering what their various buttons do, how they come apart and go back together, and what you can do with them. But give him a simple milk bottle, or a box, or a square of paper towel, and he’ll examine it just as carefully. A box can be a hat, or a propeller, or a sled. Paper towels can be scrunched up, or torn apart, or used as a blanket. (Or eaten, but I try to discourage that.)

His favorite toy this week is not a true toy but a little brass bowl with a snug-fitting lid that he discovered on a storage rack. He discovered that not only does the lid fit nicely on top of the bowl, but since it has a little lip, the bowl will sit snugly on top of the lid as well. The set makes wonderful resonant cymbals when he clashes the two pieces together, or when he clashes either piece against some other object. Both the lid and the bowl spin nicely, and land with a resounding crash when he spins them on the top of the wooden toybox. If he turns the lid upside down on top of the bowl, it slides around with a lovely metallic swish.

Educational toys are all well and good, but I think sometimes he can learn more about physics and geometry and spatial relations by simply playing with trash. And the best thing about that is that we’ll always have an endless supply of it!

Toyland

Ryan is very creative when he plays. He plays with just about anything that’s handy – a saucepan, a spoon, a vacuum nozzle, an empty box, my feet, his own feet. But he also loves to play with his toys – sometimes in the way they were designed, and sometimes not. Plastic stacking rings can, of course, be stacked on their peg – but they can also but balanced on one’s head, dropped into a bucket, or have a ball balanced in them. Balls can be rolled and bounced as intended, but also climbed on, stuffed into various cubbies and crevices, and licked. (The licking thing is true about pretty much anything he can reach with his tongue, but semi-see-through balls are especially fun to lick, since crazy Mommy can easily be tempted to lick the other side, which is a source of endless amusement. But I digress.)

So a few days ago, I decided to capture Ryan playing with his toys on video. So here, for your entertainment, I present “Two Minutes of Toys!”

So now if anyone ever asks me what Ryan and I do all day long, I can show them this video and explain that this is what we do all day. Over and over and over and over again. This, times 30 times an hour, times 12 hours a day. With the occasional break for eating, napping, and diaper changes.

Have I mentioned lately that I have the best job in the whole wide world?

Just a Spoonful of Sugar

Spoons are wonderful things. Not only are they useful and functional as food transporters (and as drumsticks), but they are also useful and functional in extending one’s reach. They can be used to knock objects off of tables that were formerly out of reach! They can be used to explore objects on top of the countertop that cannot even be seen. Spoons can be used to poke behind the couch, knock books off the bookshelf, bang pots on the stovetop, and reach otherwise unreachable items on the kitchen table.

Ryan may not be short by any means in terms of the height of most children his age, but he seems to be extremely aware that the world was designed to be explored by someone much taller than he. Spoons, however, have minimized this problem. He has a long-handled plastic mixing spoon that he plays with in the kitchen, and until recently it served mainly as a drumstick – he used it to bang on pots, pans, the colander, the doors of the kitchen cabinets, and the shins of unwary passers-by. But then he discovered that he can use it to extend his reach and explore all kinds of formerly unreachable places.

The kitchen counter, for example. He can’t see what’s on top of the counter when he’s right next to it, and he can’t reach past the very edge of the counter with his bare hands. But give him his long-handled spoon and, like the tentacle of a curious octopus, he uses it to poke and prod and feel his way across the countertop, poking at a squishy loaf of bread, banging on the wooden side of the breadbox, clanging on the rim of the sink.

The kitchen table is also deliciously in reach with spoon in hand. When he’s strapped into his high chair next to the table, his reach is frustratingly short – he can barely touch the edge of the tabletop. But add a spoon into the equation and he can flap the leaves of the flower arrangement on the center of the table, knock down the collection of birthday cards like so many dominos, and make the salt and pepper shakers roll across the table and onto the floor with a satisfying clunk.

The music room is another place that’s especially satisfying to explore with a spoon. All those low piano notes that are just out of reach are back in play when you have a spoon. Strumming the guitar with a spoon is a new and exciting experience. And the tower of CDs next to the stereo that used to be just beyond his fingertips can all be knocked over with one swipe of the spoon.

Like most children in this day and age, Ryan has a large collection of playthings that are technological wonders. He has a play phone with keys that light up and play music and read the alphabet to him, he has a wheeled zebra that sings and makes animal noises at the touch of a button, he has a plastic car with an elephant sitting in it that trumpets and zooms across the room. And he loves all those toys, and plays with them for hours. But when it comes right down to it, sometimes he’s just as happy to amuse himself with an old plastic spoon.

Toys: Boys Vs. Girls

Boys play with trucks. Girls play with dolls. For many years, this was just how it was. Then came the 1970s, and all bets were off. Boys were encouraged to play house and dress-up. Girls were encouraged to play cops and robbers and trucks. But in my personal experience, girls and boys just play differently naturally. And there’s nothing wrong with that! There’s a reason that gender roles have evolved, and it’s because boys and girls are fundamentally different.


If I’d ever doubted that, I’d have had to change my tune after watching Ryan this morning. He discovered the Barbie stuff that’s been stashed away in the corner of the den since his sister was a little girl. A few months ago a friend of mine was visiting with her three daughters, and they discovered the same stuff. In an instant, Barbie’s house was set up for a party: food on the dining table, chairs set up in the living room, Barbie herself with primped hair, high heels, and a party dress. Her Jeep was parked sedately out of the way behind the house. When Ryan got at Barbie, however, she was completely ignored, her house was a mere backdrop, and the true star of the show was the Jeep. He pushed it back and forth, flipped it over to spin the wheels, and fiddled with the seatbelt straps. He eventually noticed Barbie again, but instead of fussing with her hair he used it as a handle to smack her against the Jeep, and instead of putting high heels on her dainty feet, he tried to chew on them.

Granted, some of this behavior is simply because he is younger than the girls. But I’m convinced that the majority of it is because he’s a boy. He likes using his strength to explore, by hitting and chewing and stepping on things. He has the manual dexterity to handle small objects but he’s much more interested in using that dexterity to figure out how things work, or to make noise with them. Simply put, he plays like a boy.

And Herb and I naturally play with him like a boy. We roughhouse with him, tossing him in the air, playfully (but gently) knocking him over, wrestling with him until he dissolves into helpless giggles. I’m sure if he were a girl we (or I, anyway) would be much more sedate in how we play. We’d still toss “her” in the air, but we’d be more gentle about it. Instead of making his stuffed animals growl and tickle him, I’d teach “her” to gently pat them. No doubt we’d spend less time taking things out of “her” hands so she wouldn’t hurt herself.

And I don’t think it’s a bad thing to treat girls and boys differently. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to treat two boys differently if they have different personalities and different likes and dislikes, so why would you treat a boy and a girl the same if they have different personalities and different likes and dislikes? I’m sure there are plenty of parents out there who disagree with me, and who will give their daughters trucks and their sons dolls. And that’s fine. But I won’t do that, because I know what my son does with dolls. He uses them to whack trucks.

Spin Doctor

Ryan has always been fond of spinning things, but even more so now that he’s getting more deft with his hands. When he bounces in his bouncy chair, he often looks away from his hands as he spins the attached toys as if to say, “Yeah, I’m so cool I don’t even have to watch what I’m doing.” He spins the propeller back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, now slow, now fast, now in the same direction a bunch of times, and now back and forth again. When he gets tired of that, he uses his other hand to spin the plastic kangaroos on the other side. Back and forth and back and forth, over and over.

He has another toy with a wooden base and a series of intertwined wires with wooden beads on them. He spins the beads over and over, back and forth, now this stack and now that stack. Sometimes he watches them spin, and sometimes he casually looks the other way while he hands work their magic.

His Bammy and Pappy got a little bouncy car for him to play with at their house, and his favorite toy of the many that it has is a little play GPS with a spinning compass arrow. The first thing he discovered in that car was how to spin the arrow!

His newest spinning toy was a gift from Grammy: a little dump truck with its bright red wheels.

When he first got it, naturally he had to turn it over and over and carefully examine each part. But once he discovered it had wheels that he could spin, he was in his glory!

As you can see if you look closely at the picture above, Ryan has a new tooth. And although you can’t see it, he’s getting another one as well. Which means he’s been cranky and distraught for the past couple of days. But he often soothes himself by spinning a toy, even while he’s quietly whimpering or whining. When he gets upset and is obviously in pain, I’ll usually pick him up and snuggle him, and his usual reaction is to snuggle into my neck like a little koala bear, with one hand in his mouth – and the other reaching out to spin whatever toy is close at hand. In fact, he’ll often stretch out that free hand and flick his fingers in the air as if he’s imagining spinning something (or hinting that he’d like to be spinning something). So of course I, being a good mom (read: old softie) get him a toy he can spin to comfort himself. It gives a whole new meaning to the expression “Spin Doctor”, doesn’t it?

Toes as Toys

I blogged a while back about Ryan discovering his hands and feet, but he’s only now starting to realize how much fun he can have with his feet. For one thing, he’s slimmed down (well, sprouted up) enough that he can actually reach them without help. In fact, every time he’s on the changing table now, he sticks his feet up in the air and grabs his toes. (Which is actually quite helpful to whoever’s changing his diaper.) And since he knows he can reach them, he gets frustrated when he’s in his car seat or stroller and the shoulder straps hold him back from reaching them.

But whenever he’s not strapped down, those toes are simply marvelous toys that are always within reach and can’t accidentally be dropped on the floor (or deliberately thrown there). They’re always wiggling right at the end of his feet, waiting patiently to be played with and tickled – by himself or someone else. It’s just as much fun either way!

I am continually impressed at how good he is at amusing himself with whatever happens to be at hand (or at foot). He’ll happily play with his toes, or my fingers, or a rag, or a ray of sunshine dancing across the floor, or his shadow on the wall, or an old remote control. He’ll chew on his toes, my fingers, his shirtsleeve, his pantleg, my sweater, a stuffed animal, or a spoon. He’ll make a drum out of his toes, my fingers, a wooden spoon, a Tupperware bowl, a teething ring, or his own thigh. He’ll stare in fascination at his toes, my fingers, an unlit lamp, a thermostat, a clock, or a speck on the wallpaper.

Oh, those toes – they’re so multipurpose!

Button, Button, Who's Got the Button?

Ryan’s latest fascination is anything that has buttons. He’s always been intrigued by Daddy’s phone, but now he reaches for the TV remote, the cordless telephone, my computer mouse…anything with buttons that can be pushed, he loves.

Considering the generation he was born into, this fascination is a good thing. By the time he’s an adult, probably 95% of the objects he interacts with day to day will be controlled by buttons. Already televisions, radios, phones, computers, DVRs, microwave ovens, dishwashers, cash registers, and bank machines are controlled by buttons. I suspect that before long that list will grow to include showers, sinks, washing machines, airplanes, and cars. Gone from memory will be things like rotary phones, television knobs, and radio dials.

But Ryan will be prepared, because he’s already practicing! He particularly loves buttons that make noise or light up. I have to keep the TV remote out of his reach or he’ll change the channel or mute the sound. Before long I’m sure I’ll have to keep my phone out of his reach as well or he’ll accidentally call Japan. The next time I go toy shopping I’ll have to look for some toy remotes or phones to keep him occupied so he doesn’t get into too much trouble with the real thing. Fortunately, I know they make such things. Already the play kitchens have microwaves and cordless phones instead of conventional ovens and corded phones. The grocery store playset comes with a scanner instead of an “old-fashioned” cash register. And the dashboard of the miniature car features a GPS and digital readouts instead of a map pocket and meters with needles.

My child is only 6 months old and already I’m obsolete! I guess the upside is that twenty years from now I can call him at college (if I can figure out how to use my holographic videophone) and ask him to program my VCR – er, DVR – er, whatever crazy gadget it’ll be by then. But I’m sure that whatever it is, it’ll have buttons. And Ryan will know just how to use it – after all, he’ll have been practicing with buttons for twenty years by then.

The Joys of Toys

As Ryan gains more control of his hands and is more able to manipulate the things around him, the more interested he is in his toys. He has a fantastic collection of toys, and he loves exploring and examining each of them.

One of his favorite toys ever since he was tiny has been a stuffed duck. At first, he loved the duck because its beak and feet and tail were all very chewable. But as time went by, he enjoyed chewing on its textured plastic teething rings, and now he gets a thrill from crinkling the various flaps, carefully turning it around to look at the different colors and patterns all over it, and shaking it around to make it rattle. He has a similar stuffed bug and a “Very Hungry Caterpillar” whose interest has also grown over time as he’s discovered their various squeakers, textures, and graspable bits.

Sounds and textures are both features of his latest favorite toys. My sister gave him a set of soft fabric blocks that he loves playing with. They have soft jingle bells in them so they make noise when he shakes them, or throws them on the floor, or hits something (usually Mummy) with them. And each side is a different color and a different texture (some are corduroy, some are satin, some are velveteen), so he is fascinated by turning them in his hands and examining each side (with both his hands and his eyes). Also, many of them have crinkly fabric inside so when he grabs them by the corners they make a nice crunching sound.

And then he has a whole collection of stacking blocks. They have either a square or a round outside with a retracting tube inside with a face on it, so when you stack one on a base the face pops up. Several of the bases are shaped like fish and have a soft rattle when you shake them, but Ryan’s favorite is “Squeaky Snail”. Squeaky Snail is in the shape of a snail (bet you didn’t see that coming) and he squeaks (or that either) when you stack another block on top of him. Ryan loves it when I make Squeaky hop up his tummy and onto the top of his head, squeaking at every hop. Sometimes I make Squeaky sneak up behind him and squeak in his ear. Ryan is getting better and better at grabbing the blocks (the open tube makes them easier to grab than other blocks) and he loves when he grabs Squeaky and is rewarded with a loud squeak. Plus, Squeaky has the advantage of having a plastic head that is apparently the perfect shape and size to act as both a handle and a chew toy. So what's not to love?

Some of the toys that Ryan’s just discovering aren’t especially intended to make noise, but he still loves whatever noises he manages to make with them. For example, he has a frame with long, multicolored intersecting wires with different colored and shaped beads on them. He has fun moving the beads around, but what he seems to enjoy most of all is the clacking of the beads when they all settle into place, or when I slide them to the end and they clack into a pile all at once.

Even his feet are a fun noisy toy! Just yesterday he was lying on his tummy looking at his toys and I started drumming on his back. When I stopped, he immediately pounded out a tattoo of his own with his feet drumming on the floor. When he paused for a moment, I drummed on his back again, and when I stopped, he kicked the floor again, obviously loving the sound he was making.

I love watching him discover new toys, and new and different ways to play with his familiar toys. I can’t to see what he comes up with to amuse himself with next!!

Handy Dandy

At just over five months old, Ryan is getting into the “exploring everything” stage. He’s finally getting some real control over his hands, and everything within his reach he wants to touch, taste, and manipulate.

He nearly always has something firmly in his grip, whether it’s his rag, my hair, his stuffed duckie, a frozen teether, or one of the toys on his exersaucer.

His hands are always as busy exploring as his eyes are! In fact, he’s often looking in one direction while his hands are grabbing at something in the complete opposite direction. There are too many things waiting to be explored to focus both senses on only one thing at a time! In his jumperoo, his eyes may be watching his shadow on the floor, but his hands are busy stroking and gripping the pleated fabric of the springs. In his exersaucer, his eyes are paying attention to the flashing lights on one side while his hands are spinning the steering wheel on the other. In my arms, he’ll look towards Daddy but reach over my shoulder to grab my hair. On the changing table, he looks toward the window on the far side of the room but his hands are reaching for the stuffed bear or the rag on his other side.

It’s amazing to watch him gain more and more control with each day. It used to be that he would only feel things when he accidentally brushed against them, then he learned to deliberately flail towards what he wanted, then he was able to specifically reach for something, and now with enough concentration he can pick something up with both hands and grasp it, move it around, and put it in his mouth. He’s getting bolder and more curious every day.

I can imagine that one day those little hands may wield a scalpel as a surgeon, or a paintbrush as an artist, or a baton as a conductor, or a wrench as a plumber. But I bet that even then, in my mind’s eye I’ll still be seeing chubby little fingers covered in drool reaching out to explore the world.

Grasping at Straws - and Hippos, and Monkeys, and Bears

Ryan is reaching the stage where he is finally starting to be able to control his hands. He started off by randomly flailing in the general direction of what he wanted, then by deliberately flailing more specifically in the direction of what he wanted, and now he has enough control to actually deliberately bat at what he wants and most of the time, with enough persistence, grasp it. It's a very exciting time!

As with anything else, he has a few favorite things that he loves to hang onto. One of the first objects he did well at grabbing was a plastic ball made of rings:

He likes it because it rattles, it's good to chew on, and if he flails in its general direction, his fingers get caught in the rings and he can hang onto it fairly easily. It also makes very good noises when he flings it across the room. (By accident, now - no doubt it will be very much on purpose in the weeks and months to come.)

Another highly grabbable toy is his teddy bear:

Bear is very soft and squeezable so any part that Ryan grabs allows for a good handhold. Bear has the added benefit of having many chew-worthy parts: ears, hands, feet, even the brim of his hat and his little curls. Ryan doesn't seem to mind the lint factor; apparently the nappy texture that would make an adult gag feels just lovely on those tender gums. Bear can also be squashed extremely tightly to the body without damage to either baby or bear, which is apparently a very positive trait in Ryan's mind.

Of course, his beloved spitrags also belong in the grabbable category:

Not only can they be grasped at any point, tugged in any direction, and are useful for chewing, waving around, and dropping on the floor, there are literally four dozen of them in the house so there is always one (or five) close at hand.

But by far the most fun toys to grasp these days are the animals hanging from his bouncy chair:

The lion in the middle plays music (or purrs, or meows - which will be very confusing when we learn the animal noises: "What does the lion say?" "Meow!" "No, the cat says 'meow'. The lion says 'roar'." "Not MY lion, Mummy!") when you pull his ring, the monkey on one side rattles, and the hippo on the other jingles. The lion is still a bit too far for him to reach (although he does bat toward it often), but he absolutely delights in hooking his wee little fingers through the hippo's and monkey's rings and shaking them all over! The drawback to this toy is that the weight limit of the chair is 25 pounds, and since he currently weighs 24 pounds...well, YOU do the math. He's practically bottoming out in the chair now anyway, and at that angle whenever he bats at the lion the rebound nearly smacks him in the face so it's probably a good thing we stop that one soon.

I can only imagine what he'll be grabbing on to next. Anything within his reach, I'm sure! I love watching him gain more and more control day by day, and although my life will be made much more difficult once he can grab things on his own, it will also be much more exciting!