Church Hunting

Looking for a church is a lot like online dating. Think about it: You start off with a list of requirements. With dating, it’s often things like, “Must be within 5 years of my age; must have similar political views; must like the same hobbies as me; must live within 20 miles of me; must be gainfully employed; etc.” With a church, it’s things like, “Must be within 10 miles of my house; must have theologically sound preaching; must be one of these three denominations; must have a good music program; must have children the same age as my kids; etc.” If you find someone whose profile seems to meet those basic requirements, you meet them to see if that profile description really fits. With a church, you go to a service and listen to the sermon and the choir, you check out the nursery and the Sunday School programs, and you chat with the people in the congregation. In both cases, you eagerly wait to see if you feel that magic “click.”

And there’s no predicting that “click” in either situation. Sometimes things look perfect on paper but there’s just no chemistry in person. Sometimes things don’t look that great on paper but you try a “courtesy date” and you end up feeling a connection when you’re face to face. Sometimes it takes a few meetings before you’re really certain of whether it’s a good fit or not. And sometimes, you just have a really solid feeling of “rightness” on that very first meeting.

When I met my husband, I knew right away that he was the right one for me. Five years later, there’s never been a moment of doubt in my mind. This morning, our family attended a church that gave me that same feeling of “rightness.” As with my husband, I’m not committing myself to anything until we’ve had a few more dates and we delve a bit deeper into what we think and believe, this church and I. But I’m really hoping that five years down the road, I’ll still be with this church, without a doubt in my mind that it’s the right one for our family.

 

In Our Easter Bonnets

Yesterday was Easter, so of course the entire family got all dressed up in our Easter finery and went off to church. My mom had gotten Ryan a pair of adorable yellow plaid overalls with a matching yellow polo shirt, I was wearing a pretty cream and mauve chiffon dress, and Herb had on a crisp pink shirt and a classy lavender tie.

As we walked up the steps into the church, we were admiring the families ahead of us who were also all dressed up: little girls in pastel dresses with white sweaters and shoes and little boys in shiny dress shoes and button-down shirts. Even the parents all look crisper and dressier than most Sundays.

As with most churches on Easter Sunday, we had plenty of visitors and extra family filling the pews. We sat one row closer to the front than usual because of the crowd, and a family that slipped in the pew behind us whispered, “Someone’s sitting in our regular pew! I don’t think that’s ever happened before!” Many of the children were obviously not regular church-goers, which is always amusing to me. As well as the usual hubbub and scuffling noises, one little boy a few rows behind us announced at regular intervals, “Daddy, I want to go home now!”, much to his father’s chagrin and his mother’s mortification. I was quite relieved that Ryan was on his best behavior and napped through most of the service, waking up only when the choir sang – he was laying crosswise in Herb’s lap at the time, and when the music started his eyes popped wide open, startled, and then he turned and stared at the choir, absolutely mesmerized, until they finished singing. At coffee hour after church, a fellow mom confided to me that she was tempted to point to Ryan and tell all the embarrassed parents, “Your child would behave like this if you came to church more often!” Of course, this is the first time in about 2 months that I didn’t have to take Ryan out of the service, but at least he saved his best behavior for a particularly important Sunday!

I was actually feeling quite proud of myself as we drove home from the service, with my handsome husband, my well-behaved son, and myself wearing an outfit unadorned with spit-up, my hair washed and brushed, and even wearing a bit of lipstick! (I had two big runs in my pantyhose, but they were mostly hidden by my skirt and shoes, so I wasn’t even counting that against myself.) In fact, we looked so good that we called over a neighbor to take our photo in front of the house, and as I admired the photo later in the day, I was a bit deflated as I realized that on the front door of the house, plainly obvious in the background of the photo, was our Christmas wreath and Christmas swag, very much in evidence. I was embarrassed for a moment, but then I just laughed, knowing that having my family together for a joyous Easter celebration was so much more important than taking down the Christmas decorations.

So I plan on keeping this photo close at hand, and any time I feel like I’m getting behind with the mundane things of life like laundry, or dusting, or taking down various holiday decorations, I’m going to look at it and see what a wonderful happy family is gathered in front of those Christmas decorations that have been up for five months, and I’ll remember what is truly important to me.

Happy Easter!!