10-Pound Milestone: Week 4 Check-In

I started my weight loss journey on January 7, at a nearly all-time high weight of 178.6 pounds. Four weeks in, weighing in at 168.6 pounds, I am excited to share that I have hit the 10-pound mark! I am also excited to share that my weight loss "regimen" has begun to feel natural and normal. In other words, I'm not spending all my time thinking about food.

That definitely was not true the first week or two of this diet. My inner monologue when I started usually went something like this, "There's a box of cookies over there on the kitchen table. I would like a cookie. I would REALLY like a cookie. I probably shouldn't have a cookie. But a week ago, I'd have eaten 3 cookies, so if I only eat one, I've still cut my intake by 2/3! Naw, I'll be good. But I REALLY want a cookie..." and on and on. The cravings were not just cravings, they were CRAVINGS. I mean, they were cray-cray cravings. I had to consciously and actively distract myself from food to avoid driving myself crazy. 

But I soon discovered that the less I ate those tempting treats, the less I wanted to eat them. Refusing to give in and eat that cookie the first time made it easier to not give in to the cookie the second time. The reverse was also true: when I DID give in and eat the cookie - or drink the larger glass of wine, or order the dessert or appetizer, or eat that piece of bread - it was harder not to give in the next time. Progress begets progress! The more I resisted, the less effort it took to continue resisting. Now my inner monologue is much more along the lines of, "I want a cookie. Eh, maybe tomorrow."

I have no doubt that as time goes on, there will be days when I fall off the wagon. I've had a few of those so far, although to be fair they've mainly been planned days of celebration that I have tried to compensate for on days before and after (with varying levels of success). If you look at my weight tracking, you can easily figure out my splurge days by the upward "blips" in the descending curve. And that's okay! Those splurge days remind me both how quickly the overindulgence in treats shows up on the scale and that it's easier to stick to my day-to-day eating plan when I know that I'm not completely eliminating any of my favorites from my diet. For me, planning and compensating for those treats makes skipping them the rest of the time tolerable. 

My plan from the beginning of this journey was to find a way of eating that I could maintain long-term, that would not completely eliminate my favorite foods, but that would help me develop awareness and self-control in my eating habits. I also wanted a plan that could be reasonably modified to transition from a weight-loss plan to a maintenance plan that I would be able to stick with for, well, the rest of my life. I realize that at only 4 weeks in, I can't be certain that things won't change, but as of right now, I feel like being conscious of what I'm eating (and drinking), considering "trade-offs" whenever I feel the need to splurge, and keeping an eye on my portion sizes is a system that will work for me long-term. Hopefully at some point I won't need to write down everything I eat, but it's good to know that if my weight starts to creep back up again, I have an easy way of keeping myself accountable that really works for me. 

Bottom line? It's going well, but if I start to plateau or creep back, it won't be the end of the world. I can see that those blips don't change the general trend of heading towards my goal weight. 

Quote of the week: It's not about perfect, it's about effort.
And when you bring that effort every single day,
that's when transformation happens. - Jillian Michaels 

Because I'm Fat, I'm Fat, Ya Know It

Hi, my name is Sandy and I'm fat. 

"Fat" is such a loaded word in our society. Because of that, I would never call anyone else fat, but I absolutely reserve the right to call myself fat. And I am. I'm about 35 pounds over what I would consider a reasonably attainable and healthy weight, and about 50 pounds over what I would consider my ideal adult weight. At 5'7.5" tall and 178 pounds, I am, by any reasonable standard, fat. 

I don't want to be fat. I don't like how it feels. I don't like how it affects my health. I don't like how my clothes fit. I don't like that I don't look good in the styles of clothes I like to wear. 

I want to fix it. But I'm not the personality type that would do well with a meeting-based program like Weight Watchers, or a prepared food program like Jenny Craig, or even a menu-based program like Richard Simmons' Deal-a-Meal. And I don't need a psychology-based program like Noom to tell me why I'm fat. I'm fat because I'm menopausal, sedentary, and I eat and drink too much. It's really that simple. My metabolism has changed and I haven't changed my exercise or eating habits to counterbalance it. I have health issues that discourage me from getting regular exercise. (Also, I'm inherently lazy.) I like drinking cocktails. And my portion sizes are too big. I don't eat a lot of unhealthy foods, I just eat too much of the healthy ones, which is also unhealthy. And I don't drink enough water. 

Why am I telling you this? Frankly, it's because I need motivation. It bothers me when I try to lose weight (often somewhat half-heartedly) and I don't succeed, but telling other people that I'm trying to lose weight and not succeeding is more likely to make me buckle down and figure out how to make it work. So I'm publicly announcing that I'm working on losing weight in the hopes that being somewhat accountable to the world at large will encourage me to follow through and find a plan that works for me. 

Here's what I'm doing to start: 

• Drink less alcohol. I think that tapering off gradually will work best for me, so for now I'm only going to drink alcohol on the weekends. One cocktail each on Friday, Saturday, and maybe Sunday. Possibly an exception if we go out to eat during the week. I'll also try to drink lighter cocktails, by cutting them with seltzer. And no overly generous pours. 
• Shrink portion sizes. I'll take smaller portions of sides and mains and larger portions of vegetables and avoid eating bread with meals. 
• Drink more water. I'm going to combat both overeating and hunger by drinking a lot more water. Again, starting slowly, I'm hoping to drink at least two 20-oz. tumblers of water per day. (I'm starting from a baseline of about two sips a day to take my meds, so this is more of an increase than you might think.)
• Walk every day. This may be a little difficult in winter, but we do have a treadmill I can use. (I'll have to clear off a bunch of the kids' stuff, but it's under there somewhere.) I'll try to park farther away from the store when I run errands. And I'll get up and walk around the house every once in a while during the day. 
• Write down all the above. I'll take advantage of my love of spreadsheets by making a chart of what - and how - I'm doing to track my progress. 
• Track my weight. I wouldn't advise this for everyone, but I got an app a while back to track my weight and it made me realize how my weight has been creeping upwards. Hopefully it will also help me see it creeping back downwards.  
• Blog at least once a week. I'll let YOU know how I'm doing. Admitting to other people when I'm failing - or even simply struggling - could be helpful to push me to do better. And letting others know when I'm succeeding will hopefully do the same. 

Feel free to comment with weight loss tips, recipes for delicious low-calorie meals, words of encouragement, or any other advice you think might be helpful. (Please note that I do screen all comments, because bots, so there may be a delay before your comment posts.) Thanks in advance!

Quote for the week: The pounds you don't gain are just as important as the pounds you lose. 

Stuff I Like Better Than Being Thin

At the age of 47, I've reached that delightful time of life when making zero changes to the way I eat and exercise results in a steady creeping-up of the needle on the scale. I still take in the same number of calories, but my metabolism has changed such that the same level of activity doesn't burn them off the way they used to.

For a while, I fought against it. I tried eating less carbs and more vegetables, I tried eating smaller meals throughout the day, I tried cutting out treats, I even tried cutting back on my alcohol consumption. I tried hitting the treadmill daily. But the result of all those changes was that a) I lost minimal weight, and b) I was miserable.

I'm not particularly overweight, but I do have a few health concerns that mean my body is affected by even a few extra pounds. My rheumatoid arthritis means any extra weight forces my joints to work harder; my high blood pressure means the additional work my body has to do for even those few added pounds puts more stress on my heart. So I don't want to keep any more of these extra pounds than I have to.

But I also have to look at the flip side: What extra emotional stress am I putting on myself if I give up a lot of things that I love? What are some of the things that I like better than being thin?

I like going out for ice cream with my kids. I like having to grab their cones and lick the melty parts before they make a mess. I like getting to finish off the last few bites when they run out of appetite. I like taking turns to taste everyone else's flavors. I like the memories it brings up of my own family going out for ice cream cones in the summer.

I like sitting by the pool after the kids have gone to bed and enjoying a relaxing cocktail with my husband. I like trying new cocktail combinations, and flavoring my concoctions with fresh herbs from my garden. I like experimenting to find the perfect recipe for bourbon basil lemonade or rosemary-infused gin or mint juleps.

I like going out to dinner with my family and enjoying an extended, multi-course, well-prepared meal with a complementary glass of wine. I love spending the time teaching my children to use their "company manners" and encouraging them to try new foods. I love enjoying time with them away from home and being able to focus on them instead of on getting the meal ready, served, and cleared myself.

I like going for walks with my kids and stopping to look at everything around us instead of simply charging along for exercise. I like pausing to talk about the flowers and vegetables growing in the neighbors' gardens and the kinds of animals and birds that we see. I like challenging them to walk slowly and look for something that starts with a particular letter, or something that is a specific color. I like simply strolling and chatting when we're all focused on each other instead of paying attention to computers and toys and books.

I like teaching my kids that food is to be enjoyed. I like watching them look forward to a promised treat, and hearing them remind each other about "sometimes foods" and discussing their choices of treats. I like seeing them gradually learning to control their own thoughts and feelings about food. I want to give them a healthy outlook on food and not see it as an enemy to be controlled or fought against. I want them to see me enjoying many different foods in moderation.

I like letting my children see my imperfect body and my acceptance of it. I like hearing them tell me I'm beautiful and knowing that that word for them is not only associated with a lean, athletic, disciplined body with perfect hair and skin, but also with a muffin-topped, scarred, frizzy-haired, crooked-toothed, blemished body. I want to teach them that they are lovable and beautiful even if they don't look like society's image of a beautiful person.

Those things are all much more important to me having a happy and healthy life than shedding a few pounds.

Does that mean I'll just let myself go and not worry about that creeping scale needle? Of course not. I'll keep an eye on it and do what I have do to force it, however slowly, back in the other direction. But I won't spend my time focusing on it and stressing out about it. Because life is too short for that.

Diet Tips from a Diet-Hatin', Carb-Lovin' Mom

I hate dieting. I’ve always hated dieting. You know why? Because I love food. Especially unhealthy food. I love carbs, I love fat, I love sugar. Give me a piece of nutrition-free white bread slathered with real butter, sprinkled with overly-processed white sugar, and topped with bacon and I am a happy camper.

But I also hate not fitting into my pants. I hate having a visible pantyhose line at my waist when I wear a jersey dress. I hate having to decide whether to hike the top of my underwear over my muffin top or whether to let my muffin top hang over the top of my underwear. I hate thigh chafing. I hate the 20 pounds that have crept up on me since I hit my mid-40s.

And so, hello diet.

Diets are hard for me because I don’t like a lot of healthy foods. I dislike nearly every kind of fruit and vegetable. Snacking on carrot sticks and celery is cruel and unusual punishment for me. Serving myself a larger portion of vegetables and a smaller portion of starch at dinner is completely unsatisfying. But after much trial and error, I’ve come up with a few ways that help me to watch what I’m eating and to eat healthier. Hopefully they might be helpful to some of you, too!

Watch your portion size

I am a typical American in that I eat much more of everything than I should. For lunch, I’ll often have a bowl of soup. By which I mean a can of soup. By which I mean roughly 2.5 servings of soup. And it never occurred to me before that I’m eating nearly three times what I should! So before I serve myself, I think about what the “correct” portion size is. If I’m eating some kind of prepared food, I read the label, and if the package is 2 servings, I only eat half. It also helps to calculate the calories – that can of “healthy” soup touts itself as 100 calories per serving, but if I eat the whole thing I’m getting 250 calories!!

Watch portion sizes on side dishes, too. That big scoop of mashed potatoes or rice is definitely larger than a single serving, and three pieces of bread is three times what you should be eating.

Use side dishes as appetizers

My husband works late hours, so I’ll often feed the kids early and then he and I will have supper after they go to bed. But I’ll usually make us an appetizer to tide us over – often something not terribly healthy, like a plate of nachos or a bowl of lobster bisque. But having an appetizer wouldn’t change what we ate for dinner, it just added on those extra calories. So now, if I’m hungry before dinner, I’ll try to eat one of my dinner side dishes as an appetizer and then just leave it off my dinner plate. If the dinner menu is salmon, rice pilaf, and peas, for example, I’ll heat up one serving of peas and eat it early, then I’ll have just the salmon and rice at supper time. Or if we’re having spaghetti and meatballs with salad, I’ll eat my salad early, or maybe I’ll have a couple of meatballs and then have plain pasta at supper. That way I’m not adding extra calories, I’m just spreading them out.

Eat treats sparingly every now and then

Nothing makes me binge like feeling totally deprived of the “good stuff,” so I allow myself a treat every now and then. I just try to be very reasonable about it. On Halloween night, I picked out one of my favorite (snack size!) candy bars from the kids’ bags and let myself enjoy it. On my son’s birthday, I took a very small piece of cake and savored it. Once or twice a week I’ll let myself have a small cocktail or glass of wine. Don't let yourself feel guilty about it, though.

Write down everything you eat for a week

A good way to start a diet program is to be aware of what – and when – you’re eating. You may feel like you’re not overeating at all, but when you write down every single thing you put in your mouth for a week, you may realize where those sneaky little calories are creeping in. You take one piece of candy from the receptionist’s candy dish twice a day – not much, but when you add it up, that’s 2,000 calories a week!! You grab a small Dunkin Donuts coffee with cream and sugar every day on the way to work – at 120 calories a pop, you’ve just added 600 calories a week, and that’s not counting the 200-calorie Starbucks Coffee Frappuccino you “splurge” with on Saturday morning.

Weigh yourself once a week ONLY – and write it down

If you’re like me, your weight fluctuates a couple of pounds on a regular basis. So don’t weigh yourself every single day – you’ll drive yourself nuts. Pick a day of the week and weigh yourself first thing in the morning on that day, every week. And write it down. Make a graph, even. Gaining back a pound or two every once in a while is a lot less frustrating when you can see the general downward trend.

Use snack tricks

When you’re DYING for a snack – absolutely MUST eat something, RIGHT NOW – make yourself wait five minutes. Set a timer. And while you’re waiting, drink a big glass of water. If, at the end of that five minutes, you’re still dying for a snack? Go ahead and have a small, sensible snack. Try to go for fruit and veggies if that will satisfy you. Even a small glass of milk can be a satisfying snack. If you must, go for sweet or salty snacks – but don’t ever snack right from the bag. Prepare ahead of time – get some snack-sized Ziploc bags and fill them with small snacks: four Ritz crackers, a handful of roasted peanuts, a single Oreo, a couple of cheese cubes, half a dozen M&Ms. Don’t stuff it in your mouth, either. Nibble it, savor it, make it last.

Put the good stuff on top

This is actually a trick I learned from Oprah – I saw an interview with her personal chef one day and she suggested using unhealthy but delicious foods like cheese and nuts and bacon by putting them sparingly on top of a dish instead of mixing them in – you can use much less but taste it more. So sprinkle a tiny bit of shredded cheese on top of your mashed potatoes instead of baking the cheese inside, top your salad with a couple of crumbles of feta and a few pecans instead of stirring in a big bunch, bake a chicken breast with just a sprinkle of panko and parmesan instead of coating the whole thing, crumble up half a piece of bacon on top of your scrambled eggs for breakfast.

Dieting still isn’t fun, and it isn’t easy, but these tips help make it a little more manageable for me, and I hope they help you, too. Happy dieting!