Happy Dance

Kids who are too young to have the words to describe their emotions somehow have little difficulty expressing themselves. They don’t need words; they have their bodies. When you see a small child stamping her feet, there is no doubt that she is expressing frustration. When a little boy throws himself down and punches the ground with his fists, he is clearly angry. And when children spin around exuberantly, wriggling their entire bodies in sheer ecstasy, everyone around is perfectly aware of their happiness. Their joyful dance reminds me of a happy puppy. After all, puppies are perhaps the most perfect example of expressing emotion physically. What does a puppy do when it’s happy? It wags its tail so hard that its entire body follows suit. It wriggles joyfully. It prances and jumps and races back and forth. And small children do the same thing.

There are different degrees of physical happiness, of course. At meal times, my daughter often performs something our family refers to as the “Happy Tummy Dance.” It involves raising her arms in the air and shrugging her shoulders alternately. A particularly exuberant Happy Tummy Dance might include wriggling back and forth in her seat as well (this is more common when dessert is involved). A scrunched up nose is also occasionally part of the choreography, as is a head bob. My son, when happy or excited, tends to perform a full-body version of the Happy Puppy Wriggle: he races around the room, pausing only to stamp his feet rhythmically, wiggle his hips, punch the air, and even spin on the floor like a break dancer.

But beyond merely expressing emotion, I find that these physical expressions of happiness (and of sadness and anger, for that matter) tend to inspire that emotion. When I’m feeling a bit down and I join my kids in doing one of their happy dances, I immediately feel more cheerful. (More silly, but also more cheerful.) If I’m eating a rather boring lunch and I stop to do the Happy Tummy Dance with my kids, suddenly my lunch becomes more exciting and interesting. If my kids seem to be bored and listless, convincing them to take a few minutes to do a crazy happy dance instantly puts them in a better mood.

So the next time you’re fighting off the blues, take a moment to do a little Happy Puppy Wriggle. Toss your hair, throw up some jazz hands, shake your salsa hips, tap your toes, pirouette down the hall. And if anyone gives you the fish eye, grab them and get them to join in. I bet you’ll both walk away from that encounter with a smile on your face. Although you probably won’t walk. You’ll skip.

Let's Be Candid

I’ll admit it: We take a ton of pictures of Ryan. Sometimes we take them while he’s doing something interesting, sometimes we set him up and try to get him to look at the camera, but no matter what we do, they’re always “candid” photos. He has no concept of a camera, so he’ll never smile patiently while waiting for the shutter to click, as adults do. If he’s smiling, he’s smiling, and if he’s not, he’s not, and there’s not much that anyone can do about it. But the wonderful thing about that fact is that each and every picture of him catches a genuine, honest, unguarded moment.

One of my favorite examples of candid photos is a strip of photos we took in a photo booth at Herb’s work’s 50th anniversary party. You sit in the booth and press a button, and the automated camera counts down and takes a photo, then counts down again and takes another, then another and another. The result may not be flattering, but it is indeed a snapshot of the subjects in the truest sense.

You can see Ryan progress from “What’s going on?” to “Who’s that in the monitor?” to “Ooh, there are lights up there!” to “OK, I’m done now [escape squirm].”. It absolutely captures the minutes we spent in the booth.

I love how the camera captures his true personality. It isn’t always smiles and paying attention. It’s often squirming, or distracted, or even pouty or crying. Sometimes it’s delight, sometimes it’s puzzlement, sometimes it’s curiosity. Sometimes it’s frustration, sometimes it’s anger, sometimes it’s exhaustion. And as he grows up and learns to mask those emotions – especially in front of the camera – we’ll miss seeing those candid moments. So I’m glad we’re capturing them all: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Delight

Dislike

Unhappiness

Curiosity

Exhaustion

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Excitement, Exuberance, and Exultation

Ryan is very a happy little guy in general, but lately he sometimes gets so happy that he can’t help but let it all out in a delighted drawn-out shriek that I can only explain as an absolute overflow of excitement, exuberance, and exultation. For example, last night he was happily bouncing in his bouncy chair while Herb and I were having dinner, and every once in a while, he’d start giggling, then stand up on his very tiptoes, stretch his arms open wide, and let out a long joyous screech that dissolved back into a delighted squeal at the end. I can’t describe it in any other way than as audible joy.

How wonderful to be so happy that you can’t help but let it out verbally! Think back to the happiest moments of your life – don’t they all include some kind of vocal outburst? A “woo-hoo” or “yippee” or “hallelujah”? An “Amen” or “hot damn” or “yahoo”? There’s something about a vocal expression of excitement that somehow completes that moment. It gives you an emotional release.

I guess the flip side is true, as well. Misery and anger and frustration are often best expressed in some kind of noisy outburst, whether it be a rebel yell or a primal scream or a Charlie Brown-esque “AARRRGGGHHHH!!!” Releasing your emotions, whether positive or negative, is a wonderfully cathartic part of the human experience. And it obviously isn’t strictly verbal, because Ryan has no concept of “verbal” yet. He just knows he has something inside him that needs to be released in sound form – and he releases it, with great gusto.

When you stop and think about it, it’s amazing how good non-verbal babies are at expressing their emotions audibly in a very understandable way. There’s no mistaking that joyous screech for unhappiness, and there’s no mistaking an unhappy wail for joy. Ryan makes different noises for discomfort, for pain, for hunger, for frustration, and for tiredness. He makes different noises for curiosity, for interest, for excitement, and for happiness. It’s a shame that most adults aren’t as clear about their emotions. It’d make life much easier sometimes if we let our emotions be as apparent as babies’. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go make myself some lunch. Yippee!!!!!

That Face, That Face

Babies have incredibly expressive faces, and Ryan is no exception. Emotions flutter across his face in rapid succession, from smile to frown to confusion to comprehension. His eyebrows raise in astonishment, his cheeks dimple in laughter, his lips pucker in consternation, his eyes widen in excitement or narrow in suspicion.

And each new expression is a new discovery for him, as well! He cracks himself up with his own giggles, he fascinates himself with sticking out his tongue or blowing bubbles or wrinkling his nose. His constantly changing expressions remind me how new everything in the universe is to him. How amazing to have a sense of wonder about something as simple and basic as making facial expressions!

So as each expression blossoms across his face, I can feel my own expression bursting again and again into wonder and delight and laughter. Watching this little child discover the world of emotion and expression brings joy to me as I share his discoveries. I could watch his face for hours, taking in each dimple, marveling over those clear blue eyes and thick dark lashes, rubbing my cheek against that perfectly soft skin, touching those delicate brows, nuzzling that button nose, and kissing those rosebud lips. Even at three months, his face has changed so much that I try to burn each moment and each expression into my memory before it's lost forever to time. Photos help, but they can't possibly capture every fleeting expression that I see. So I look and look and look and then I look some more. Because I don't want to miss a single glance!