The Mayor of Everywhere

Once again, Ryan has proven that he is the unofficial mayor of anywhere he goes. This past weekend we were at my friend Maryellen’s annual party at her beach house, and we got to see a bunch of friends we hadn’t seen in a while. As usual, Ryan was a big hit. He started off by showing off all the new tricks he’s learned since he last saw most of the guests – things like standing up on his own, clapping, high fives, waving, and his favorite skill of all, rock eating. But by the time we were ready to leave (and he was five hours overdue for a nap, but still in a good mood despite the heavy eyes), he had made the rounds of just about every guest. And he was charming and sweet to every single person he met. And, like any good politician, he gave each person individualized attention.

He began his rounds by sharing a cracker with Daddy. Then a quick pause to cleanse his palate with a few rocks.

“Hey Pilote, that cookie looks pretty tasty! I might need some of that coffee to wash it down with, though.”

Then he moved onto Uncle Ed, with Pam looking on.

He was delighted to sit in Janet’s lap for a while.

And then he moved on to Sue.

He hadn’t met Maria before but was still more than happy to visit and show off how well he can stand up.

He saved a smile for Sharyn. Whom he noticed was wearing a watch. And so began his flirtation with anyone with “props”.

Like Alice’s sunglasses.

Or Deedee’s camera.

Or Auntie Dana’s necklace.

By the time he reached Judy, he was running out of steam a bit, as evidenced by the tell-tale fingers in his mouth, but he was still cheerful and friendly and snuggly.

He even saved his biggest and best grin for the hostess, Auntie M’el, who swears that babies always cry as soon as she picks them up. This photo proves that is NOT the case!

My little ray of sunshine came through again, just like he always does. And I have all the photos that I can look back through when he’s a sullen teenager and this weekend is only a distant memory…

Party Manners

Like any baby, Ryan has good days and bad days. I'll admit that he's a particularly good-natured and easygoing baby, so he has many more good days than bad days, but I'm very glad that he tends to use those good days at times and places where it's most appropriate.

For example, although he often wakes up from a nap with a startled cry, when he falls asleep in church he tends to wake up very gently and quietly. In fact, on Easter Sunday he slept quietly through most of the service and when he woke up, he simply turned his head and silently listened to the choir singing instead of making a loud protest. When we've had company visiting, he's generally in a good mood and happy to play and do his best tricks for them. When Bammy and Pappy, or Grammy, or Aunt Holly and Uncle Jim babysit, he's usually on his best behavior and plays and eats and naps without too much protest.

I'm hoping against hope that this trend continues for our upcoming trip to California. We have so many events to attend and people to visit with that if he's on his best behavior every time, he won't have a free moment for a meltdown! Between the plane trip, his sister's graduation ceremony and graduation party, another friend's graduation ceremony and graduation party, get-togethers with family and friends, and a side trip or two to the park, the zoo, and the aquarium - not to mention dealing with jet lag and unfamiliar surroundings - it'll be a miracle if he is able to be his usual sunny self for the whole week.

But even at his fussiest, his sweet self shines through. He can usually be jollied into grinning through his tears, pausing mid-wail to pat a favorite toy or watch a new friend, or at least falling into an exhausted sleep before giving his mother a nervous breakdown. People naturally gravitate to him no matter what mood he's in, so even when he doesn't have his party manners on, he still draws a crowd. He's just that kind of sweet soul that can't be kept down, no matter what.

Excitement, Exuberance, and Exultation

Ryan is very a happy little guy in general, but lately he sometimes gets so happy that he can’t help but let it all out in a delighted drawn-out shriek that I can only explain as an absolute overflow of excitement, exuberance, and exultation. For example, last night he was happily bouncing in his bouncy chair while Herb and I were having dinner, and every once in a while, he’d start giggling, then stand up on his very tiptoes, stretch his arms open wide, and let out a long joyous screech that dissolved back into a delighted squeal at the end. I can’t describe it in any other way than as audible joy.

How wonderful to be so happy that you can’t help but let it out verbally! Think back to the happiest moments of your life – don’t they all include some kind of vocal outburst? A “woo-hoo” or “yippee” or “hallelujah”? An “Amen” or “hot damn” or “yahoo”? There’s something about a vocal expression of excitement that somehow completes that moment. It gives you an emotional release.

I guess the flip side is true, as well. Misery and anger and frustration are often best expressed in some kind of noisy outburst, whether it be a rebel yell or a primal scream or a Charlie Brown-esque “AARRRGGGHHHH!!!” Releasing your emotions, whether positive or negative, is a wonderfully cathartic part of the human experience. And it obviously isn’t strictly verbal, because Ryan has no concept of “verbal” yet. He just knows he has something inside him that needs to be released in sound form – and he releases it, with great gusto.

When you stop and think about it, it’s amazing how good non-verbal babies are at expressing their emotions audibly in a very understandable way. There’s no mistaking that joyous screech for unhappiness, and there’s no mistaking an unhappy wail for joy. Ryan makes different noises for discomfort, for pain, for hunger, for frustration, and for tiredness. He makes different noises for curiosity, for interest, for excitement, and for happiness. It’s a shame that most adults aren’t as clear about their emotions. It’d make life much easier sometimes if we let our emotions be as apparent as babies’. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go make myself some lunch. Yippee!!!!!

Laughter, the Best Medicine

Ryan has reached the stage where it takes almost nothing to make him laugh. In fact, he often looks at some random object in the room (a lamp, a bookcase, the stove) and then spontaneously breaks into giggles. Sometimes he’ll giggle for a moment, stop and look at whatever it is for a few more seconds, and then break into gales of laughter again. If he’s looking at my feet and I wiggle my toes, he guffaws. If he’s looking at my face and I smile or say “Boo!” he laughs uproariously. If he’s lying on the floor and kicks his feet loudly against the floor, he snickers. If I toss a rag over his face, he pulls it off and chuckles. And if he’s on his back and I grab his feet and pull them over his head, he cracks up like there’s never been anything quite as funny in all of history. And any kind of motion sends him into giggle fits, whether it’s Daddy tossing him up in the air like a rag doll, Mommy rolling him back and forth in her arms, or swinging on a swing.

He’s pretty much always been a laugher. He learned to laugh early, and once he figured it out it was a trick he pulled out all the time. He loves being tickled and teased and poked. He loves hearing (and making) goofy noises. He laughs at his toys, his shadow, his reflection, and the ceiling. It really doesn’t take much to tickle his funny bone.

And his laughter makes everyone who hears it happy. Who can listen to a laughing baby without joining in on the laughter – particularly if what’s making the baby laugh is something as random as a chandelier or a spot on the carpet? As I’m writing this, he’s lying on the floor behind me, playing with a fluffy blanket and quietly chuckling to himself. His laughter – even his very happiness – is infectious. I can’t help but feel in a better mood listening to him laugh. His joy makes me forget all my woes. It makes me want to join in and find something amusing in all the boring, ordinary things in my world.

So whenever I’m in a bad mood, all I need to do to cheer myself up is wiggle my toes or stick out my tongue or blow a raspberry, and Ryan and I will both start laughing and forget all our worries. Because laughter really is the best medicine.

Tickled Pink

The other day, Herb had finished changing Ryan and was playing with him on the changing table. He was tickling his belly and his thighs and Ryan was chortling and chuckling to his heart’s delight. I was laughing with them both, and Herb commented that I don’t tickle Ryan when I play with him.

While this is not entirely true, it certainly is true that I tickle him MUCH less often and much less heartily than Daddy does. And I suspect I know why: because I don’t like being tickled. I don’t know if I had a horrific, scarring childhood tickling tragedy that I’ve blocked out of my memory, or if it’s just something that I’m not genetically programmed for, but I just don’t enjoy being tickled beyond that first split-second. And the fact that I’m incredibly ticklish just about everywhere makes it that much less fun. I’ve been known to squirm and squeal when someone who’s not even intending to tickle me tickles me by accident. Herb has learned to be very careful when he reaches over to snuggle me – he discovered the hard way on more than one occasion that a soft, unexpected touch can result in a much harder, unexpected (and involuntary, I swear) smack. It’s a completely reflexive physical reaction for me, like when the doctor hits under your kneecap with that little hammer. I can’t control the squirm-and-squeal any more than I can control swinging my leg due to that hammer.

Ryan, fortunately, does not suffer from this malady in the slightest. He loves being tickled, to no end. In fact, he gets so excited that he giggles in anticipation. When Herb or I hold up a hand in “tickling position”, then shoot it down to tickle Ryan’s belly (while repeating the requisite “Tiiiiickletickletickletickticktickticktickle!” mantra), he laughs uproariously. And if we pause before we actually reach his belly, he’s already closed his eyes and chortled in anticipation. Sometimes after a split-second he pauses mid-laugh and opens his eyes, as if to say, “Wait, what happened to the tickle?” But more often than not, even the anticipation is enough to give him a thrill.

One of his favorite games is the old “broken egg drop”. Remember that one from elementary school? You make someone close his eyes, clap your hands a few inches above his head, and then trickle your fingers down over his face so it feels like you broke an egg over his head and now it’s dripping down his face. Ryan loves that game! You don’t even need to clap, just run your hands lightly over his head, face and shoulders, and he rolls his eyes back in delight and chortles away. The chortle is fabulous but it’s the ecstatic eye roll that really cracks me up. It’s like the laughter isn’t enough to express how unbelievably delightful the game is. He’s practically going unconscious it’s so amazing!

That’s my funny little ticklebug.

Better Living Through Chemistry

I’ve blogged before about the advantages of technology in raising a baby these days. But my generation also has the advantages of huge chemical and medical knowledge. The list of health and hygiene products that never existed when my parents were children – and even during my own childhood – is immense. And I don’t mean just the biggies like immunizations and antibiotics that save babies’ lives. I mean all those “minor” products that save parents’ sanity.

When my mother was a baby, the accepted remedy for teething pain was to rub whiskey on her gums. I very much doubt that my staunch Baptist grandmother ever did this. But there have been rumors of homemade elderberry wine that may have been put to medicinal use! When I was a baby, my mother kept a tiny vial of oil of cloves in the medicine cabinet to rub on my gums. I’ve smelled that stuff, and I admit that it may or may not have dulled the pain, but it certainly would have created a sensory distraction. But when Ryan seemed to be in pain from teething yesterday (I know, I know, I’ve been claiming he’s teething for two months now – but I’ll keep saying it and eventually I’ll be right), I had my own magic vial of infant Tylenol that numbed his pain and allowed him to finally get some much-needed (as much by me as by him) rest.

Another problem that I, fortunately, have not had to deal with is gas and colic. I have no idea how my grandmother dealt with it, but my mom’s best resource for me was to plop me in the car and drive around the neighborhood for hours, usually at 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning.

For my generation of moms, however, not only do we have the option of the late-night drive (with much safer and simpler car seats, to boot), but we have a cabinet full of products like Mylicon drops and infant Tagamet, Prilosec, Prevacid and Zantac to calm and soothe those tender tummies.

Cough or cold? Forget about sitting on the side of the tub with the shower running full blast to create a steam room. We have warm mist, cool mist, high mist, low mist, with medication, without medication humidifiers. We have twenty-seven brands of cough drops and cold liquids. We have products to loosen a cough, dry a cough, prevent a cough, prevent a cold, unstuff a nose, and stop a runny nose.

And even on the non-medicinal side of things, we have shampoos, skin creams, diaper rash creams, powders, body wash, and bubble bath. Hypoallergenic, organic, aromatherapy, vegan, non-animal-tested – whatever you want, you can find it out there.

Gone are the days of a single bottle of Johnson & Johnson No More Tears shampoo that served to wash everything. These days you can find a specialized product for every conceivable body part with every conceivable twist – moisturizing, drying, anti-itch, softening, and on and on.

So although it may be a little overwhelming to look at those store shelves full of thousands of products, I’m glad to have all those options. Because somewhere amidst those bottle and vials and jars and tubs is one item that will make my baby happy and contented. And when baby is happy, everybody is happy!