10-Pound Milestone: Week 4 Check-In

I started my weight loss journey on January 7, at a nearly all-time high weight of 178.6 pounds. Four weeks in, weighing in at 168.6 pounds, I am excited to share that I have hit the 10-pound mark! I am also excited to share that my weight loss "regimen" has begun to feel natural and normal. In other words, I'm not spending all my time thinking about food.

That definitely was not true the first week or two of this diet. My inner monologue when I started usually went something like this, "There's a box of cookies over there on the kitchen table. I would like a cookie. I would REALLY like a cookie. I probably shouldn't have a cookie. But a week ago, I'd have eaten 3 cookies, so if I only eat one, I've still cut my intake by 2/3! Naw, I'll be good. But I REALLY want a cookie..." and on and on. The cravings were not just cravings, they were CRAVINGS. I mean, they were cray-cray cravings. I had to consciously and actively distract myself from food to avoid driving myself crazy. 

But I soon discovered that the less I ate those tempting treats, the less I wanted to eat them. Refusing to give in and eat that cookie the first time made it easier to not give in to the cookie the second time. The reverse was also true: when I DID give in and eat the cookie - or drink the larger glass of wine, or order the dessert or appetizer, or eat that piece of bread - it was harder not to give in the next time. Progress begets progress! The more I resisted, the less effort it took to continue resisting. Now my inner monologue is much more along the lines of, "I want a cookie. Eh, maybe tomorrow."

I have no doubt that as time goes on, there will be days when I fall off the wagon. I've had a few of those so far, although to be fair they've mainly been planned days of celebration that I have tried to compensate for on days before and after (with varying levels of success). If you look at my weight tracking, you can easily figure out my splurge days by the upward "blips" in the descending curve. And that's okay! Those splurge days remind me both how quickly the overindulgence in treats shows up on the scale and that it's easier to stick to my day-to-day eating plan when I know that I'm not completely eliminating any of my favorites from my diet. For me, planning and compensating for those treats makes skipping them the rest of the time tolerable. 

My plan from the beginning of this journey was to find a way of eating that I could maintain long-term, that would not completely eliminate my favorite foods, but that would help me develop awareness and self-control in my eating habits. I also wanted a plan that could be reasonably modified to transition from a weight-loss plan to a maintenance plan that I would be able to stick with for, well, the rest of my life. I realize that at only 4 weeks in, I can't be certain that things won't change, but as of right now, I feel like being conscious of what I'm eating (and drinking), considering "trade-offs" whenever I feel the need to splurge, and keeping an eye on my portion sizes is a system that will work for me long-term. Hopefully at some point I won't need to write down everything I eat, but it's good to know that if my weight starts to creep back up again, I have an easy way of keeping myself accountable that really works for me. 

Bottom line? It's going well, but if I start to plateau or creep back, it won't be the end of the world. I can see that those blips don't change the general trend of heading towards my goal weight. 

Quote of the week: It's not about perfect, it's about effort.
And when you bring that effort every single day,
that's when transformation happens. - Jillian Michaels 

I'm a Little Less Fat: Week 2 Check-In

I'll admit that I'm actually a little surprised to be seeing results already, but there is a distinct downward trend in my weight. The past few days have been consistently in the 173.5-174.5 pound range, which means I've lost roughly 4 pounds in two weeks. Hooray!

Looking back at my initial post, here's how each of the parts of my diet and exercise plan have been working out:

• Drink less alcohol. I've been good about all aspects of this part so far. I've limited myself to a single drink only on weekend days only. We went out for dinner last night and I opted for just a cocktail and no wine (okay, I had one sip of my husband's wine), which is definitely a change to my usual routine. I've been successful in cutting my at-home cocktails with seltzer to reduce the alcohol and therefore the calorie content. On nights when I'm not drinking, I'll sometimes have flavored seltzer in a cocktail glass with a fancy garnish so I don't feel like I'm missing out. Starting this week, I'm going to continue cutting back by limiting myself to alcohol only on Fridays and Saturdays, with the occasional exception for going out to dinner, which I'll continue to limit to either a cocktail or wine, not both. 
• Shrink portion sizes. This aspect is a little harder to gauge. I'm certainly making an effort. There are some meals where this is easier to do than others. For example, when we had pork chops the other day, I naturally served myself a whole pork chop (which I then ate in its entirety). But when we had chicken fried rice, I served myself a smaller portion than I normally would. I still struggle with overdoing it on the carbs, especially bread. My family loves bread, and I love baking bread, so I don't want to remove it from our menus; I just need to work harder at resisting the temptation to eat the whole batch all at once. 
• Drink more water. This has been a mixed result, mainly based on my schedule, When I'm at home, I keep a mug of water nearby at all times. I use the "measured fill" function on the water dispenser in the fridge to drink in 16-ounce increments. Somehow it's easier to think of drinking a mug of water several times a day than it is to look at the larger (32-ounce) jug I bring to work - when I remember - and think about drinking the whole thing. I also find myself tending to drink more in the morning and less later in the day. I'd like to work on drinking more before dinner, so I'll feel fuller at dinnertime and therefore hopefully eat less. I'd also like to make more of an effort to bring water with me when I'm not at home, whether I'm at work or out running errands. 
• Walk every day. I'll be honest: this one has been a big fail. It's been too cold and snowy to go outside for walks, and I have yet to unearth the treadmill. So on days when I'm at home, my activity level is pretty much zero. On days I work, however, I have been consciously making an effort to get up and walk, even if it's as simple as keeping my laptop on one side of the room and the pieces I'm working on on the other side of the room, so I have to keep walking back and forth. It may only be 10 steps each time, but 10 steps there and 10 steps back times 80 or 100 does add up. 
• Write down all of the above. I have been faithful about keeping my spreadsheet. It has certainly made me more aware of what I eat, especially while I'm eating it - or before I choose whether or not to eat it! In addition to the original information - water intake, alcohol intake, activity level, foot eaten, and current weight - I've added a column for foods and drinks that I've resisted. My husband baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies the other day and the smell was driving me crazy. I really REALLY wanted one - just one - but I resisted, even after both my husband and my son asked if I wanted one. (My answer, both times, was, "Yes, desperately, but I'm not going to have one.") And after my son's school concert, the whole family had frappes but I didn't. Looking back at all the times I wanted some bread, or a cocktail, or a sweet treat, or a Dunks iced coffee, but chose not to have it, reminds me that I'm doing really well at resisting temptation and making healthier choices. Even choosing an apple with peanut butter for lunch instead of a PB&J is a baby step on cutting out unneeded calories. It reminds me that I'm making progress even when the scale might not reflect it. Looking back at the good choices I've made makes it easier to make good choices the next time, and the next. 
• Track my weight. Again, this isn't for everyone, especially not on a daily basis, but for me it's a daily (sometimes twice daily) reminder to keep that needle moving in the right direction. And with my app, it lets me see the general trend of my weight changes over time. 
• Blog at least once a week. Making my weight loss journey public - knowing that people will know if I'm not doing well - is a huge motivator for me. If I have a couple of extra cocktails or eat large portions or have a few desserts, I'll have to confess it publicly, or at least confess the resulting weight gain (or lack of loss). It makes me think twice before deciding to cheat (or hopefully not to cheat). 

I thought about including a mention in each blog of "cheats this week," but I realized that I don't want to think of deliberate food choices as "cheats." So instead, this week's "treats" were one Dunk's iced coffee with cream and sweetened flavoring, and an appetizer with dinner at a restaurant. Allowing myself a reward every now and then reminds me that I'm not giving up treats forever, but that I can choose to enjoy them within reason. And it encourages me to find another place to cut a few calories to balance it out. 

So as my journey continues, I plan to work on being more active, avoiding bread, continuing to reduce my portion sizes and alcohol intake, and drinking more water (especially later in the day). But so far, what I'm doing seems to be working, and it seems to be sustainable. 

Quote for the week: Your diet is a bank account. Good choices are good investments. 

Because I'm Fat, I'm Fat, Ya Know It

Hi, my name is Sandy and I'm fat. 

"Fat" is such a loaded word in our society. Because of that, I would never call anyone else fat, but I absolutely reserve the right to call myself fat. And I am. I'm about 35 pounds over what I would consider a reasonably attainable and healthy weight, and about 50 pounds over what I would consider my ideal adult weight. At 5'7.5" tall and 178 pounds, I am, by any reasonable standard, fat. 

I don't want to be fat. I don't like how it feels. I don't like how it affects my health. I don't like how my clothes fit. I don't like that I don't look good in the styles of clothes I like to wear. 

I want to fix it. But I'm not the personality type that would do well with a meeting-based program like Weight Watchers, or a prepared food program like Jenny Craig, or even a menu-based program like Richard Simmons' Deal-a-Meal. And I don't need a psychology-based program like Noom to tell me why I'm fat. I'm fat because I'm menopausal, sedentary, and I eat and drink too much. It's really that simple. My metabolism has changed and I haven't changed my exercise or eating habits to counterbalance it. I have health issues that discourage me from getting regular exercise. (Also, I'm inherently lazy.) I like drinking cocktails. And my portion sizes are too big. I don't eat a lot of unhealthy foods, I just eat too much of the healthy ones, which is also unhealthy. And I don't drink enough water. 

Why am I telling you this? Frankly, it's because I need motivation. It bothers me when I try to lose weight (often somewhat half-heartedly) and I don't succeed, but telling other people that I'm trying to lose weight and not succeeding is more likely to make me buckle down and figure out how to make it work. So I'm publicly announcing that I'm working on losing weight in the hopes that being somewhat accountable to the world at large will encourage me to follow through and find a plan that works for me. 

Here's what I'm doing to start: 

• Drink less alcohol. I think that tapering off gradually will work best for me, so for now I'm only going to drink alcohol on the weekends. One cocktail each on Friday, Saturday, and maybe Sunday. Possibly an exception if we go out to eat during the week. I'll also try to drink lighter cocktails, by cutting them with seltzer. And no overly generous pours. 
• Shrink portion sizes. I'll take smaller portions of sides and mains and larger portions of vegetables and avoid eating bread with meals. 
• Drink more water. I'm going to combat both overeating and hunger by drinking a lot more water. Again, starting slowly, I'm hoping to drink at least two 20-oz. tumblers of water per day. (I'm starting from a baseline of about two sips a day to take my meds, so this is more of an increase than you might think.)
• Walk every day. This may be a little difficult in winter, but we do have a treadmill I can use. (I'll have to clear off a bunch of the kids' stuff, but it's under there somewhere.) I'll try to park farther away from the store when I run errands. And I'll get up and walk around the house every once in a while during the day. 
• Write down all the above. I'll take advantage of my love of spreadsheets by making a chart of what - and how - I'm doing to track my progress. 
• Track my weight. I wouldn't advise this for everyone, but I got an app a while back to track my weight and it made me realize how my weight has been creeping upwards. Hopefully it will also help me see it creeping back downwards.  
• Blog at least once a week. I'll let YOU know how I'm doing. Admitting to other people when I'm failing - or even simply struggling - could be helpful to push me to do better. And letting others know when I'm succeeding will hopefully do the same. 

Feel free to comment with weight loss tips, recipes for delicious low-calorie meals, words of encouragement, or any other advice you think might be helpful. (Please note that I do screen all comments, because bots, so there may be a delay before your comment posts.) Thanks in advance!

Quote for the week: The pounds you don't gain are just as important as the pounds you lose.