Closing in on the Goal: Week 13 Check-In

My initial goal for this weight-loss journey was to get under 150 pounds. I am within 2 pounds of that goal!

This week was something of an experiment in loosening up my restrictions, for a number of reasons. First of all, last Sunday was Easter, which meant a special dinner (including appetizers and a special dessert) shared with family, as well as the presence of candy. A LOT of candy. Chocolate bunnies. Pastel M&Ms. Robin eggs. Marshmallow Peeps. Jelly beans. More jelly beans. Yet more jelly beans. Temptations were all around! And I resisted. (Mostly.) Another thing that made it difficult was that I had two wisdom teeth removed and was on antibiotics, which meant needing to eat something in the morning and just before bed. It also meant some degree of mouth pain, especially while eating, with the recommended soft foods generally being high in fat and/or sugar, like pudding, jello, ice cream, mashed potatoes, yogurt, etc. We also went out for dinner last night and the soup of the day happened to be one of my favorites (ginger carrot), one that I don't get to have very often. I did limit myself to an especially small portion of my dinner, but it was still a larger dinner than I've been eating.  

The good news is that despite eating somewhat more than I had been, I continued to lose, albeit a little more slowly. It gives me confidence that I will be able to maintain my weight loss by continuing to keep an eye on my eating habits relative to what I see on the scale, and that I can find a comfortable balance between eating well and staying at a healthy weight. It also means that I am planning on continuing to lose a few more pounds past my initial goal, assuming that my body continues to cooperate. 

Quote for the Week:

Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. 

-Robert Collier

25-Pound Milestone: Week 12 Check-In

Oops, I missed posted last week. But it's been a solid couple of weeks. I broke out of my plateau and have continued losing, albeit a little slowly. 

I passed the 25-pound loss mark, which is particularly impressive when I confess that I've been loosening up my food restrictions a little. But that's not necessarily a bad thing; it's serving as a kind of test to see how it feels to move from a weight-loss regimen to a weight-maintenance regimen. 

Which isn't to say that I'm ready to be done. Although my original goal was to get back below 150 pounds - which feels reasonable, since after my kids were born my weight hovered around 148 for quite a few years - I'd be delighted to be able to continue losing weight until I reach about 136 pounds, which is what I weighed throughout my 30s, before my kids. 148 is a healthy and reasonable weight; 136 is a healthy and near ideal weight. I'm not convinced my body is willing to get to and stay at 136 pounds, but at this point I'm not convinced that it isn't. So when I reach 148, which I expect will happen in mid- to late April, I can decide if I'm willing to continue with the strict diet until I get down to 136. 

I do have moments of cravings, especially during this past week of cold and rainy weather. Nothing makes me want to drink mug after mug of hot cocoa and to stuff my face with comfort foods like mashed potatoes and gravy, carb-heavy casseroles, and every form of bread ever invented like dreary grey skies and rain. But I'm continuing to focus on truly enjoying the foods that I do choose to eat, eating slowly and savoring each bite, and evaluating my choices in terms of trade-offs and caloric value (no wasted calories!). It does mean that I allow myself a few extra calories when there's something that I really, really want to eat, but it also means that I think about each choice before I make it. 

I continue to feel better: I have more energy, my clothes fit better, my joints ache less, my blood pressure is down. The positives by far outweigh (ahem) the negatives. I don't regret giving up anything. So I'll stick with it as long as it feels this good and I'm in a healthy place. I can do this! I AM doing this! I WILL do this!

Quote for the week:

"Eat clean to stay fit. Have a burger to stay sane." - Gigi Hadid

The Plateau That Wouldn't Die: Week 10 Check-In

At this point, I feel a little like Sisyphus: I'm still working hard, yet I'm not seeing any results. Fortunately, unlike Sisyphus, I haven't lost (gained) much ground, I just haven't gained (lost) much, either. In other words, I'm still on a plateau, yoyo-ing between 157 point something and just over 158 pounds. (That said, this morning I clocked in at a cool 156.2 pounds, so I'm hoping this plateau is ending soon. *knocks on wood*)

I haven't been overdoing it with treats, although I will readily admit that I've been tempted to have treats without sacrificing something else more this week than any week so far. 

One thing that has given me more of a positive outlook is that I'm starting to move from my winter wardrobe to my spring wardrobe, and I've been pulling out quite a few articles of clothing that I haven't been able to wear in a couple of years. It's like I'm going shopping without ever leaving the house! Lightweight pants that used to be too snug in the thighs, sheath-style dresses that may have fit but didn't flatter, short-sleeve tops that I can now tuck in. It reminds me that even if I never lose another ounce, I've made significant progress. I look better, and more importantly, I feel better. 

However, I'm continuing to seek support and inspiration from other people's weight loss journeys. For example, I came across a great article by Ree Drummond (aka "The Pioneer Woman"), who lost 55 pounds (!) over the course of one year. She had a list of 10 tips, many of which I found helpful, because either they reinforced something that I was already doing or experiencing, or they were new ideas that I wanted to try. Among the reinforcements were these ideas: 

• Starting with a strict diet doesn't necessarily mean it'll stay that way forever, or even as long as you're working on losing.
• Your body gets used to smaller portions so you don't feel hungry or unsatisfied after a meal.
• A little bit of alcohol is okay.
• Daily weigh-ins, although not for everyone, work great for some people (apparently including Ree and me).
• You don't have to completely ban any foods, just be reasonable about frequency and portion size.
• Trying different strategies can be helpful to find what works for you - or what combination works for you.
• Minimize wasted calories: sugary treats, anything I eat or drink because I'm bored or to be social rather than because I'm hungry, anything you eat without deliberate enjoyment or satisfaction (no mindless snacking directly from the bag!). This falls under my "trade-off" plan.
• Changing your diet is a long-term plan, not a quick fix that you can drop when you're done. 

And the new ideas that I'd like to try were:

• Even if you don't exercise in a formal sense, moving is important, even if it's just parking further away from the store or getting out of your chair and walking down the hall a few times a day. 
• Building muscle helps boost your metabolism, and you get the biggest bang from building up the biggest muscles; i.e., your legs and glutes. 
• Eat more protein and fewer carbs (especially sugar). 

One thing Ree did that I refuse to do is counting calories and weighing food. That might work for some people, but for me, it's simply a time-consuming chore that frustrates and annoys me, and one that doesn't provide a significant benefit. I know how much I usually eat so I can eyeball an appropriately smaller portion size. I know what in my diet has higher (or empty) calories. I can "common sense" my choices and get pretty close to what I'd be doing if I were weighing and calculating, but without the time and frustration involved. 

The good thing about these needed changes is that spring is here! For the past week we've had a constant stream of wild beasties in our yard (chipmunks, raccoons, opossums, skunks, red foxes, and deer), which is a sure sign that warmer weather is coming. And warmer weather is always an easier time for me to both eat lighter and get more exercise. A warm, sunny day practically invites me to go for a walk; the wider availability of fresh vegetables encourages me to make healthier choices; and the foods I'm craving are lighter dishes cooked on the grill with fresh herbs rather than heavy sauces or gravies. Bring on the salmon, summer squash, grilled chicken, fresh tomatoes and basil, green salads, and all the bounty that local gardens have to offer. 

I'm ready. 

Quote for the Week:

The only successful way to reach and maintain a healthy weight is to find what works for you. 

Focusing on the Food: Week 5 Check-In

After five weeks of changing my eating habits and just over one-third of the way to my goal weight, I've discovered one of the most important - and most pleasurable - aspects of this eating plan: It reminds me to really enjoy my food. To focus on what I'm eating. To savor each bite. 

As much as I hate the word "mindfulness," this eating plan has made me realize that I need to eat mindfully. I had never noticed how often I do other things while I eat, so instead of enjoying the snack I thought I was craving, I just shove food into my gob while focusing on something else. I'd sit on the couch with a bag of tortilla chips and eat them while I caught up on e-mail, or worked a crossword puzzle, or watched a movie, and suddenly I'd look down to find that half the bag was gone but I didn't even remember eating it. The point of tortilla chips is not nutrition, it's pleasure, and I had completely cheated myself out of the pleasure of eating them because I wasn't paying attention. Now, if I want tortilla chips, I put a small handful on a plate, close the bag and put it back in the cupboard, then I eat them one at a time, focusing on the delicious saltiness, the crunch, the flavor. I savor each chip. I enjoy eating that small serving of chips much, much more than I used to enjoy eating half the bag. 

It's the same with eating meals. The point here is a combination of nutrition and pleasure, but taking the time to consider the amount I need to eat in order to get the proper amount of nutrition reminds me that the pleasure of eating is also limited. Knowing that I don't get a second serving even if it's really delicious encourages me to enjoy the serving in front of me. So I eat more slowly in order to savor the tastes and textures, with the result that my stomach has more time to register that I'm full, so I feel more satisfied with a smaller portion. Win-win!

Are there times when I just want to shovel a giant pile something delicious into my face? Yes! Are there tough days when I want to knock back that cocktail like a western hero in a saloon with a shot of whisky? Also yes. But the pleasure is over too quickly when I do that. I'm learning that prolonging that enjoyment without adding unnecessary calories is actually more pleasurable. 

And speaking of more pleasurable, I've also reached the point where my clothes are fitting noticeably differently - and I've been able to wear some clothes that were uncomfortably snug (or unwearable) before I started this journey. I even shrunk out of a belt and into one I haven't worn in ages. I'm changing my habits primarily for health reasons (I have several medical conditions that are significantly impacted by carrying even a few extra pounds), but the side effect of looking better is a positive motivator. 

The bottom line is that there are a number of factors that are making my new habits easier to stick with. Visible results is one; more enjoyment in eating is another. Isn't it funny how eating less but eating differently can be more satisfying rather than less? Focus on your food!

Quote for the Week: The more you eat, the less flavor; the less you eat, the more flavor. 

- Chinese Proverb

10-Pound Milestone: Week 4 Check-In

I started my weight loss journey on January 7, at a nearly all-time high weight of 178.6 pounds. Four weeks in, weighing in at 168.6 pounds, I am excited to share that I have hit the 10-pound mark! I am also excited to share that my weight loss "regimen" has begun to feel natural and normal. In other words, I'm not spending all my time thinking about food.

That definitely was not true the first week or two of this diet. My inner monologue when I started usually went something like this, "There's a box of cookies over there on the kitchen table. I would like a cookie. I would REALLY like a cookie. I probably shouldn't have a cookie. But a week ago, I'd have eaten 3 cookies, so if I only eat one, I've still cut my intake by 2/3! Naw, I'll be good. But I REALLY want a cookie..." and on and on. The cravings were not just cravings, they were CRAVINGS. I mean, they were cray-cray cravings. I had to consciously and actively distract myself from food to avoid driving myself crazy. 

But I soon discovered that the less I ate those tempting treats, the less I wanted to eat them. Refusing to give in and eat that cookie the first time made it easier to not give in to the cookie the second time. The reverse was also true: when I DID give in and eat the cookie - or drink the larger glass of wine, or order the dessert or appetizer, or eat that piece of bread - it was harder not to give in the next time. Progress begets progress! The more I resisted, the less effort it took to continue resisting. Now my inner monologue is much more along the lines of, "I want a cookie. Eh, maybe tomorrow."

I have no doubt that as time goes on, there will be days when I fall off the wagon. I've had a few of those so far, although to be fair they've mainly been planned days of celebration that I have tried to compensate for on days before and after (with varying levels of success). If you look at my weight tracking, you can easily figure out my splurge days by the upward "blips" in the descending curve. And that's okay! Those splurge days remind me both how quickly the overindulgence in treats shows up on the scale and that it's easier to stick to my day-to-day eating plan when I know that I'm not completely eliminating any of my favorites from my diet. For me, planning and compensating for those treats makes skipping them the rest of the time tolerable. 

My plan from the beginning of this journey was to find a way of eating that I could maintain long-term, that would not completely eliminate my favorite foods, but that would help me develop awareness and self-control in my eating habits. I also wanted a plan that could be reasonably modified to transition from a weight-loss plan to a maintenance plan that I would be able to stick with for, well, the rest of my life. I realize that at only 4 weeks in, I can't be certain that things won't change, but as of right now, I feel like being conscious of what I'm eating (and drinking), considering "trade-offs" whenever I feel the need to splurge, and keeping an eye on my portion sizes is a system that will work for me long-term. Hopefully at some point I won't need to write down everything I eat, but it's good to know that if my weight starts to creep back up again, I have an easy way of keeping myself accountable that really works for me. 

Bottom line? It's going well, but if I start to plateau or creep back, it won't be the end of the world. I can see that those blips don't change the general trend of heading towards my goal weight. 

Quote of the week: It's not about perfect, it's about effort.
And when you bring that effort every single day,
that's when transformation happens. - Jillian Michaels 

I'm Fat: Week 1 Check-In

Guess what? 

I'm still fat. 

Yeah, the hardest part of trying to lose weight is that it takes time. I'm hoping the old adage that it takes twice as long to lose it as it did to gain it isn't true. I've gained 25 pounds over the past 5 years, and I'm really hoping that it won't take 10 years to take it off again. Fortunately, I've also read that losing a pound or even 2 every week is a reasonable goal for most people, so that's my aim. The difficult part of that goal for me is that my body weight fluctuates several pounds on a regular basis, so it's really hard to tell if I've actually lost weight or if it's just my natural fluctuations. 

I have been using an app on my phone for a while and it's really helped to make me aware of my weight creep. 

This chart shows my weight over the past 90 days. You can see that the numbers have been edging up very gradually over the whole time I've been charting. 

Looking at the past 30 days, it's going a little better, with a general creep down instead of up. So, yay? But I know I could be doing better. 

As I've been tracking my habits, I've been struggling with improving some of them. For example, drinking water. It's a lot harder than I expected to drink as much water as I'd hoped, mainly on days when I'm running around doing errands or spending the day at work rather than at home. So my plan is to keep a large water bottle in my car and in my work bag so I always have water with me. I do notice a difference in my appetite when I've drunk a lot of water before meals, so I think getting better about this will be a big help in shrinking down my portion sizes without being hungry (or hangry!).

I have done pretty well with reducing my alcohol intake. Cutting my cocktails with seltzer has been surprisingly effective, especially when I emphasize the flavors with bitters. My latest creation was a splash of whipped cream vodka, a splash of creme de cacao, cocoa bitters, a bit of cherry juice, and black cherry seltzer. Delicious and refreshing! I feel like over the course of time I can transition into less (or even no!) vodka to lower the calorie count even further. 

As I look back over my eating log for the week, I'm reasonably happy with how I did. I did notice that I sneak a cookie as a snack more often than I realized (I need to get rid of my leftover Christmas cookies - and not by eating them!), but having to write everything down did help me to decide against random mid-afternoon snacks quite often. And when I did decide to snack, it was usually a small handful of cashews or some apple slices. 

So what I am doing differently this week? One thing I plan to do is add a place in my daily log for the treats that I resisted. There were definitely times when I thought about eating something and I chose against it, or I could have chosen a higher-calorie meal and didn't. I feel like it will be a good encouragement for me to see the times that I made a healthy choice when I really wanted something else. For example, I was out shopping with my husband the other day and we stopped at Burger King for lunch, and even though I really wanted a burger and fries, I got a couple of small chicken wraps and I stole exactly 3 fries from my husband. Yay for me! And the more I resist, the easier it gets to resist. Plus, I'm learning what lower-calorie meals and snacks I find satisfying, such as an apple and a tablespoon of peanut butter instead of a peanut butter sandwich, or salmon and fresh vegetables instead of steak and mashed potatoes. Carbs - particularly bread and potatoes - are still a big part of my diet, so I'm also hoping to work more fruits and vegetables in with my proteins instead of all starches. 

What's the bottom line on my first week? It's a slow and gradual start, but it's a start. Onward and downward!

Quote for the week: Today is another chance to get it right. 

Diet Tips from a Diet-Hatin', Carb-Lovin' Mom

I hate dieting. I’ve always hated dieting. You know why? Because I love food. Especially unhealthy food. I love carbs, I love fat, I love sugar. Give me a piece of nutrition-free white bread slathered with real butter, sprinkled with overly-processed white sugar, and topped with bacon and I am a happy camper.

But I also hate not fitting into my pants. I hate having a visible pantyhose line at my waist when I wear a jersey dress. I hate having to decide whether to hike the top of my underwear over my muffin top or whether to let my muffin top hang over the top of my underwear. I hate thigh chafing. I hate the 20 pounds that have crept up on me since I hit my mid-40s.

And so, hello diet.

Diets are hard for me because I don’t like a lot of healthy foods. I dislike nearly every kind of fruit and vegetable. Snacking on carrot sticks and celery is cruel and unusual punishment for me. Serving myself a larger portion of vegetables and a smaller portion of starch at dinner is completely unsatisfying. But after much trial and error, I’ve come up with a few ways that help me to watch what I’m eating and to eat healthier. Hopefully they might be helpful to some of you, too!

Watch your portion size

I am a typical American in that I eat much more of everything than I should. For lunch, I’ll often have a bowl of soup. By which I mean a can of soup. By which I mean roughly 2.5 servings of soup. And it never occurred to me before that I’m eating nearly three times what I should! So before I serve myself, I think about what the “correct” portion size is. If I’m eating some kind of prepared food, I read the label, and if the package is 2 servings, I only eat half. It also helps to calculate the calories – that can of “healthy” soup touts itself as 100 calories per serving, but if I eat the whole thing I’m getting 250 calories!!

Watch portion sizes on side dishes, too. That big scoop of mashed potatoes or rice is definitely larger than a single serving, and three pieces of bread is three times what you should be eating.

Use side dishes as appetizers

My husband works late hours, so I’ll often feed the kids early and then he and I will have supper after they go to bed. But I’ll usually make us an appetizer to tide us over – often something not terribly healthy, like a plate of nachos or a bowl of lobster bisque. But having an appetizer wouldn’t change what we ate for dinner, it just added on those extra calories. So now, if I’m hungry before dinner, I’ll try to eat one of my dinner side dishes as an appetizer and then just leave it off my dinner plate. If the dinner menu is salmon, rice pilaf, and peas, for example, I’ll heat up one serving of peas and eat it early, then I’ll have just the salmon and rice at supper time. Or if we’re having spaghetti and meatballs with salad, I’ll eat my salad early, or maybe I’ll have a couple of meatballs and then have plain pasta at supper. That way I’m not adding extra calories, I’m just spreading them out.

Eat treats sparingly every now and then

Nothing makes me binge like feeling totally deprived of the “good stuff,” so I allow myself a treat every now and then. I just try to be very reasonable about it. On Halloween night, I picked out one of my favorite (snack size!) candy bars from the kids’ bags and let myself enjoy it. On my son’s birthday, I took a very small piece of cake and savored it. Once or twice a week I’ll let myself have a small cocktail or glass of wine. Don't let yourself feel guilty about it, though.

Write down everything you eat for a week

A good way to start a diet program is to be aware of what – and when – you’re eating. You may feel like you’re not overeating at all, but when you write down every single thing you put in your mouth for a week, you may realize where those sneaky little calories are creeping in. You take one piece of candy from the receptionist’s candy dish twice a day – not much, but when you add it up, that’s 2,000 calories a week!! You grab a small Dunkin Donuts coffee with cream and sugar every day on the way to work – at 120 calories a pop, you’ve just added 600 calories a week, and that’s not counting the 200-calorie Starbucks Coffee Frappuccino you “splurge” with on Saturday morning.

Weigh yourself once a week ONLY – and write it down

If you’re like me, your weight fluctuates a couple of pounds on a regular basis. So don’t weigh yourself every single day – you’ll drive yourself nuts. Pick a day of the week and weigh yourself first thing in the morning on that day, every week. And write it down. Make a graph, even. Gaining back a pound or two every once in a while is a lot less frustrating when you can see the general downward trend.

Use snack tricks

When you’re DYING for a snack – absolutely MUST eat something, RIGHT NOW – make yourself wait five minutes. Set a timer. And while you’re waiting, drink a big glass of water. If, at the end of that five minutes, you’re still dying for a snack? Go ahead and have a small, sensible snack. Try to go for fruit and veggies if that will satisfy you. Even a small glass of milk can be a satisfying snack. If you must, go for sweet or salty snacks – but don’t ever snack right from the bag. Prepare ahead of time – get some snack-sized Ziploc bags and fill them with small snacks: four Ritz crackers, a handful of roasted peanuts, a single Oreo, a couple of cheese cubes, half a dozen M&Ms. Don’t stuff it in your mouth, either. Nibble it, savor it, make it last.

Put the good stuff on top

This is actually a trick I learned from Oprah – I saw an interview with her personal chef one day and she suggested using unhealthy but delicious foods like cheese and nuts and bacon by putting them sparingly on top of a dish instead of mixing them in – you can use much less but taste it more. So sprinkle a tiny bit of shredded cheese on top of your mashed potatoes instead of baking the cheese inside, top your salad with a couple of crumbles of feta and a few pecans instead of stirring in a big bunch, bake a chicken breast with just a sprinkle of panko and parmesan instead of coating the whole thing, crumble up half a piece of bacon on top of your scrambled eggs for breakfast.

Dieting still isn’t fun, and it isn’t easy, but these tips help make it a little more manageable for me, and I hope they help you, too. Happy dieting!