Friday, April 9, 2010

Happy Anniversary To Us

Two years ago this coming Monday, I married the most wonderful man I have ever met.

In the past two years, my life has changed in ways I never could have imagined. They say that the first year of marriage is often the hardest, and if that's the case, we can expect pretty smooth sailing from here on out, because is many ways that first year was a cinch. Although when I think about it, we had a lot of tough things to deal with that first year. I had a miscarriage, my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, I was laid off, and I began a very difficult pregnancy. But my memories of that first year aren't of the pain of losing a baby, or nearly losing a parent, or losing a job, or being nauseous 24/7. They're of having my wonderful husband by my side, supporting me and loving me and sharing those burdens. They're of the laughter rather than the tears and of the love rather than the loss.

The second year was also a mixed blessing. It began with six more months of being sick 24/7, but it ended with six months of watching our beautiful, sweet, good-natured, good-looking, absolutely perfect son grow up. For every sleepless night those first few weeks we've been rewarded with days full of baby chortles. For every tear shed over a baby who wouldn't eat at first, we have laughter over a baby who's so big he keeps growing out of his clothes. For every tense, stressed-out snipe at each other for some nonsensical reason, we have a hug and a kiss and apologies on both sides and feeling closer than ever because of it.

The saying goes that marriage is hard work, and I agree that's true. But it shouldn't be the kind of hard work that makes you wonder if it's worth it, that makes you feel like you're tilting at windmills, that leaves you exhausted and frustrated at the end of each day, and that makes you want to throw in the towel. It ought to be the kind of hard work that makes you proud at what you've accomplished, that makes you want to take on the challenge anew every day, that gives you a sense of confidence that you've created something wonderful that enriches your own life and the lives of others.

I love working at my marriage like that, and I look forward to continuing to work at it for many, many years to come. For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

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