Showing posts with label baby talk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby talk. Show all posts

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Universality of Babies

Last night we watched the movie, “Babies”. The film is a fascinating – and almost entirely wordless – documentary following four babies from different parts of the world through their first year or so of life.


The opening of the film shows a close-up of a heavily pregnant mother in Namibia grinding berries to make a kind of red dye that she uses to paint her belly. We see a seconds-old baby, still connected to her mother by her umbilical cord, in a modern hospital in Tokyo. We see an hours-old baby in San Francisco, hooked up to tubes and monitors in another modern hospital. And we see a days-old baby being tightly swaddled in blankets and tucked in his mother’s arms as she climbs onto the back of a motorbike, apparently for the trip back to her home in Mongolia.

As the movie progresses, each group of scenes seems to have a kind of a theme: how the babies eat, how the babies interact with their siblings and parents and pets, the various environmental dangers that the babies face. Some groups of scenes are remarkably similar, and some are literally worlds apart. We see each baby being fed by its parents – in three cases, being nursed by a mother, and in the fourth, being given a bottle by a father. The details may be different – the Namibian mother, for example, nurses her baby while sitting in the dirt, leaning over him to grind grain, while a second, slightly older baby nurses at her other breast, while the Japanese mother reclines comfortably in her bed as she nurses – but the essentials are universal. Even the sibling interactions are hilariously similar. The Mongolian baby sits in the middle of a yurt draped with colorful woven rugs and wails periodically as his older brother flicks him in the face with a scrap of cloth. The Namibian baby sits on the ground and periodically wails as his older brother pushes him away. One of the funniest sequences in the entire film is a series of scenes involving very patient and long-suffering family cats. We see one of the babies looking on as his brother pulls on a leash around the neck of a large (and recumbent) cat, the cat limply allowing itself to be dragged with an expression on its face that would certainly be an eyeroll, if cats could roll their eyes. We see another baby sitting with a similarly patient cat on his lap, roughly grabbing at the cat’s fur and ear as the cat simply lies there, apparently resigned to its fate. And in an especially hysterical transition, we then cut to one more cat, carefully sitting out of reach of a baby and watching it warily.

Even the scenes that show how different the babies’ upbringings are have a core of universality, though. We see the Namibian baby calmly playing in the dirt as a herd of cattle wanders around him, the solid, powerful hooves looking no less dangerous than the heavy, wicked horns. The Mongolian child lies on a rug-draped couch as a large rooster with huge, dagger-like spurs casually hops up and saunters past. The American child careens across a playground on a little car, plowing through a crowded sidewalk and face-planting magnificently in a large sandbox. The dangers may vary from place to place, but there are dangers in every environment, no matter how primitive or how progressive.

But aside from the anthropological fascination I found with the film, I was also fascinated with how much of Ryan I saw in each baby. From the funny little newborn facial expressions, to the wide-eyed curiosity, to the babbling and mouth sounds, to random objects going directly into the mouth, to the jelly-legged attempts to stand up, there was a sense of familiarity in every scene and with every child. The soft cooing and singing of the mothers as they rocked sleepy babies made me smile as I thought of myself doing the same thing. Even the tightening in my chest as I saw each baby in danger of being hurt was recognizable as a sensation felt by every parent in a similar situation.

Ryan is not exactly like any other baby that ever has or ever will be on this earth, but there are some things about his life that have been experienced by every other baby that ever has or ever will be on this earth. It’s a wonderful blend of uniqueness and commonality.

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Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Difference Between Mommies and Daddies

Ryan was having kind of a rough morning this morning. He’d been up for a while and had already had breakfast and some playtime in the exersaucer when I came downstairs. He grinned at me for a bit while he played, but then he started in on that heartbreaking sad/tired/something hurts cry. I took him out of the saucer and bounced him for a few minutes, then took him into the bathroom to watch himself in the mirror, then finally carried him into the study to let him relax on my shoulder as he calmed himself down. He was flopped against my neck like a rag doll, with one hand twined in my hair and the other in his mouth, his cheek squashed against mine, heavy eyes looking past me as I leaned way back in my chair so he was nearly lying flat. Herb looked at him and asked, a bit ruefully, “How come you never do that with me?”

It got me thinking. It’s true, Ryan doesn’t do his ragdoll imitation with Daddy like he does with me. But that’s not surprising, because Herb and I have very different ways of comforting him when he’s upset or fussy. I’m more likely to snuggle him, sing to him, or rock him, whereas Herb will tickle him, roughhouse with him, or look him right in the eye and make funny growling noises. With me, Ryan plays by snuggling his face into my shoulder then peeking at me and giggling. With Daddy, he plays by launching himself backwards out of Daddy’s arms and then laughing when Daddy catches him. Herb and I admitted to each other after Ryan was born that we would always play the same good cop/bad cop roles – I would always be the good cop and he would always be the bad cop. It’s a natural choice, given our temperaments. But even aside from our temperaments, there’s just a basic difference between how mommies and daddies interact with their babies. Mommies are the comforters, and daddies are the toughies (in a good way).

Herb laughs at me because I am constantly babbling at Ryan. I talk to him all the time about what I’m doing, what he’s looking at, asking him questions, repeating words. My mom admits she did the same thing with me and my sister. Every walk is accompanied by a full narration. Strangers in the grocery store often turn around to look at me because I’m having a one-sided conversation. But when Herb spends the day with Ryan, he can go for hours without saying a word. Of course, they can also spend hours imitating each others’ facial expressions, so it’s not like they’re not interacting. But they do it in a completely different way than Ryan and I do. Even at the tender age of five months, Ryan is learning (at some level) that men and women are different.

And viva la difference!



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Friday, February 12, 2010

Is There An Echo In Here?

Ryan is starting to reach that delightful stage of discovering his own voice. He coos, he giggles, he grunts, he snorts, he "sings", he makes noises that there aren't even words for. But he's always making sounds. And I find myself constantly imitating them. When he makes his werewolf "AhhooOOOOoohh" sound, I howl right back at him. When he makes his "mmmmMMMmmm" noise, I "mmmMMMmmm" in tandem with him. When he makes his fussy "mmmmm-ah!", I repeat it to him. Every sound he makes, I make too.

What is it with this compulsion to imitate a baby's noises? Wouldn't it make more sense to respond to him with English words, perhaps words similar to the sound he's making? When he says "mmmmm-ah", shouldn't I be repeating "Mama" to him? Maybe. But that's no fun. It's much more fun echoing back his funny little inflections and secret language. It's fascinating to try to get inside his head and figure out why he's making those noises. Does it feel good in his mouth? Is he imitating sounds he's heard me make? Is he even aware that he's the one making the noises he hears? And when I imitate him, is he aware that I'm repeating the sounds he's just made?

There are so many times that I'd love to know what's going on inside his head. Everything around him is so new, I'm sure there's a lot I take for granted that he's either unaware of or just noticing for the first time. I'd love to know what new sounds make him think, I'd love to understand the progression of thoughts in his head as he puts ideas together. Making the connection that moving his lips and tongue and throat in a certain way produces the sound he's hearing is really an impressive cognitive leap, when you think about it. It's amazing that children are ever able to understand and recreate language.

I guess that's why it's a good thing that I repeat everything, because it gives him one more chance to understand and learn.

I guess that's why it's a good thing that I repeat everything, because it gives him one more chance to understand and learn.

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