Showing posts with label breastfeeding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breastfeeding. Show all posts

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Universality of Babies

Last night we watched the movie, “Babies”. The film is a fascinating – and almost entirely wordless – documentary following four babies from different parts of the world through their first year or so of life.


The opening of the film shows a close-up of a heavily pregnant mother in Namibia grinding berries to make a kind of red dye that she uses to paint her belly. We see a seconds-old baby, still connected to her mother by her umbilical cord, in a modern hospital in Tokyo. We see an hours-old baby in San Francisco, hooked up to tubes and monitors in another modern hospital. And we see a days-old baby being tightly swaddled in blankets and tucked in his mother’s arms as she climbs onto the back of a motorbike, apparently for the trip back to her home in Mongolia.

As the movie progresses, each group of scenes seems to have a kind of a theme: how the babies eat, how the babies interact with their siblings and parents and pets, the various environmental dangers that the babies face. Some groups of scenes are remarkably similar, and some are literally worlds apart. We see each baby being fed by its parents – in three cases, being nursed by a mother, and in the fourth, being given a bottle by a father. The details may be different – the Namibian mother, for example, nurses her baby while sitting in the dirt, leaning over him to grind grain, while a second, slightly older baby nurses at her other breast, while the Japanese mother reclines comfortably in her bed as she nurses – but the essentials are universal. Even the sibling interactions are hilariously similar. The Mongolian baby sits in the middle of a yurt draped with colorful woven rugs and wails periodically as his older brother flicks him in the face with a scrap of cloth. The Namibian baby sits on the ground and periodically wails as his older brother pushes him away. One of the funniest sequences in the entire film is a series of scenes involving very patient and long-suffering family cats. We see one of the babies looking on as his brother pulls on a leash around the neck of a large (and recumbent) cat, the cat limply allowing itself to be dragged with an expression on its face that would certainly be an eyeroll, if cats could roll their eyes. We see another baby sitting with a similarly patient cat on his lap, roughly grabbing at the cat’s fur and ear as the cat simply lies there, apparently resigned to its fate. And in an especially hysterical transition, we then cut to one more cat, carefully sitting out of reach of a baby and watching it warily.

Even the scenes that show how different the babies’ upbringings are have a core of universality, though. We see the Namibian baby calmly playing in the dirt as a herd of cattle wanders around him, the solid, powerful hooves looking no less dangerous than the heavy, wicked horns. The Mongolian child lies on a rug-draped couch as a large rooster with huge, dagger-like spurs casually hops up and saunters past. The American child careens across a playground on a little car, plowing through a crowded sidewalk and face-planting magnificently in a large sandbox. The dangers may vary from place to place, but there are dangers in every environment, no matter how primitive or how progressive.

But aside from the anthropological fascination I found with the film, I was also fascinated with how much of Ryan I saw in each baby. From the funny little newborn facial expressions, to the wide-eyed curiosity, to the babbling and mouth sounds, to random objects going directly into the mouth, to the jelly-legged attempts to stand up, there was a sense of familiarity in every scene and with every child. The soft cooing and singing of the mothers as they rocked sleepy babies made me smile as I thought of myself doing the same thing. Even the tightening in my chest as I saw each baby in danger of being hurt was recognizable as a sensation felt by every parent in a similar situation.

Ryan is not exactly like any other baby that ever has or ever will be on this earth, but there are some things about his life that have been experienced by every other baby that ever has or ever will be on this earth. It’s a wonderful blend of uniqueness and commonality.

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Thursday, February 11, 2010

It Was the Breast of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

This week has been a bit bittersweet for me. Because of medications I'm on for my rheumatoid arthritis, my doctors suggested that I only breastfeed Ryan for three months. Apparently my medication is passed on through breast milk and builds up in his system. So at three months, we've reached the point where the risks of his taking in small amounts of my meds outweigh the benefits of continuing to breastfeed. Which means that it's time to transfer completely to bottlefeeding.

I'm fortunate in some ways because we've already been combining bottlefeeding with nursing. The first few days of Ryan's life neither one of us could really figure out what we were doing when it came to breastfeeding, and there were plenty of tears on both our parts. I remember several occasions during that first week when I spent a late night feeding sitting in the rocking chair with a screaming baby on my lap, frantically nuzzling at my breast but unable to latch, while I sobbed uncontrollably. We were both frustrated and miserable, and poor Ryan was literally starving. Finally we started supplementing with a bottle, and with some continued practice, we eventually both got a handle on the whole breastfeeding thing. But given his voracious appetite, we still needed to supplement. At first I felt guilty that I must be doing something wrong that my milk supply wasn't enough for him. But then I read articles saying that for the first month a baby will take about 2 oz. of formula at a feeding and will feed about every three to four hours. Apparently Ryan hadn't read that article, because he was taking 4 oz. or more at every feeding and feeding every two to three hours. He would often nurse for a full hour and then take a 4 or even a 6 oz. bottle. I wondered if he was even getting anything from me, but although when I pumped right after he nursed I didn't get much, if I pumped after I skipped a fedding because Daddy was giving him a bottle, I could get 2-4 oz. So obviously he was getting something - and as his weight started to skyrocket, it became more and more obvious that he was just a big baby who needed lots of calories!
So at least neither of us had to go through any kind of trauma in transitioning to bottles. Ryan has never suffered from "nipple confusion"; if it gives milk, he'll suck on it, no questions asked. I'm not comfortable breastfeeding in public, so any time we're out somewhere for the day, he gets a bottle all day and has no problem with it. If we're about to get in the car and he's hungry, I can prop a bottle in his car seat and keep him contented so I'm not driving distracted by a screaming baby in the back seat. And best of all, Daddy can take a feeding any time Mommy needs a little extra sleep or Daddy needs some father-son bonding time.

But even though I can snuggle him close when I feed him with a bottle, it's not quite the same as nursing him. The feeling of that warm little cheek against my chest, the little dribble of milk from his pursed rosebud lips running onto my skin, that incredible sense of closeness from seeing my child get nourishment from my own body...these things can't quite be replicated by giving a bottle, and I know I'll miss them terribly over the next few weeks. But I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to bond with my son by breastfeeding him for as long as I have. I'm glad that I fought through that incredibly difficult and traumatic first week. And I'm glad that I live in a day and age where formula and vaccines and excellent medical care all keep my baby strong, healthy, and well-nourished even when I can't breastfeed any more.

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