Showing posts with label siblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label siblings. Show all posts

Friday, April 11, 2014

Photo A Day, Day 11: 3 of a Kind

Before my husband and I got married, naturally we discussed having children. Not surprisingly, he (who grew up in a family of three children) wanted three children, and I (who grew up in a family of two children) was more comfortable with the idea of two children. Since he already had one, it worked out perfectly that we simply added two more to the one he had, and voila! Three of a kind.


Although it’s not apparent from this photo, taken when our youngest was still in the “blob” stage, all three kids are happy, easygoing, and laid back. They all have terrific senses of humor and they love to make each other laugh. All three are social and affectionate, happily doling out hugs and high fives to friends and strangers alike. They are all content to spend time with others and also to have quieter times with only themselves for company.

And yet, they are each unique individuals. My son is all boy, rough and tumble and physical, fascinated by bugs and farts and trucks, preferring to play by building things or destroying them. My littlest daughter prefers to dress up in a tutu and a crown and make up stories with her stuffed animals, speaking in a different voice for each one and saving them from various dire situations. And my stepdaughter is a thinker and a storyteller and an athlete, equally comfortable tending bar and herding cattle and fixing HumVees. I’ve even got a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.

That’s what I call a perfect 3 of a kind. 
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Friday, April 4, 2014

Photo A Day, Day 4: Good Together

My children are 21 months apart in age. For the first 6 months, I thought that age difference would kill me. But ever since then, I’ve been certain that it is the perfect sibling age span. They’re close enough in age that they share common interests, yet they’re far enough apart to avoid overlap in school, sports teams, and most hobbies. My daughter wants to do what my son does, but she’s old enough to be a flattering groupie rather than an annoying tag-along. Of course, he doesn’t appreciate when she tries to steal his toys, but he likes to show her how they work. He likes to play the big brother role, to teach her to do things he’s barely learned himself, to remind her of how "long ago" he learned to do what she’s just learning now. It’s a beautiful friendship, my delicate little girl looking up to her big, solid brother, much adoration flowing in both directions.


Just last summer, my son graduated from a tricycle to a bicycle with training wheels, and my daughter inherited the tricycle she’d been gazing at longingly all season. So this spring, she is beyond delighted to jump right on the tricycle while her big brother zooms around her on his big boy bike. He shouts encouragement to her, and she looks enviously but adoringly at his mad cycling skillz. While I just sit back, admiring these amazing two human beings that I worked so hard to teach to love each other. And they do. They are, indeed, good together.  

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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

2 > 1 + 1


When I was expecting my second child, I knew it would be a lot more work than having only one child. I figured that as much as I hoped it would be significantly less than twice the work, it would probably turn out to be twice the work. I never realized that 1 child plus 1 child equals way more than 2 children’s worth of work.

The thing about having two children is that they feed off each other. Trouble that neither one of them would ever dream of on his or her own can happen with two children working together. Take my children, for example. My 2-1/2 year old son is a curious and careful observer who noticed how the lock on the sliding glass door leading to the pool worked, so we installed a hook and eye at adult height to keep him safe. My 1 year old daughter is an adventurous explorer and climber who constantly attempts to climb up onto the seat of her scooter and then stand up. It would never occur to him to stand on the scooter and it would never occur to her to try to unlock the door, but put them together and voila! He stands up on the seat of the scooter and lets himself out the door. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

My children are still at the age when any kind of working in tandem to make trouble is purely accidental. Unintentionally, one will distract my attention by coloring on the table while the other sneaks off to play in the potty or push the buttons on the computer. Or while I’m rescuing one who’s stuck at the top of the stairs (she can do up but not down), the other one is scaling the bookshelf to grab a butane lighter or moving the table to get at the pincushion in my sewing drawer. But I live in fear for the day when the two of them consciously work together to plot parental overthrow. I imagine a huddled discussion where Brother, age 9, whispers to Sister, age7: “OK, you get her to try to explain long division while I disassemble the toaster and get the staple gun, then we’ll rendezvous back in my bedroom to build the trebuchet!”

I suppose I should just resign myself to the fact that the two of them will be ruling the world before they’re 20. I can only hope they’ll be benevolent dictators.
King Ryan and Queen Katie, the early years
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Monday, June 25, 2012

June 25 Photo: Something Cute


“Something Cute” has to be the biggest no-brainer of all the 31 photo concepts in this whole month-long Photo-A-Day challenge. Seriously, I have a 10-month-old daughter and a 2-1/2-year-old son who are the most adorable and photogenic children on the planet. “Something Cute” is their life motto.

But as cute as they each are individually, their cuteness is beyond doubled when they’re together. Well, at least when they’re together and being nice to each other, which I’d estimate is maybe 20, 25 percent of the time. Fortunately, I happened to have a camera handy this evening when that 20 percent rolled around.

Katie loves to play with Ryan’s toys, especially while Ryan is playing with them, and Ryan is not especially appreciative of that fact. And if she takes one of his toys that he isn’t playing with, he usually develops an urgent and immediate need to play with it himself. Both situations often result in tears on one or both of their parts, whether or not I intervene. But this evening, after a bit of sparring, they managed to come to an unspoken agreement on their own. (Based on this photo, I think that agreement must have been along the lines of, “Ryan gets to play with all the toys and Katie gets to watch without getting smacked.” Hey, if it works for them, who am I to judge?)
What I find so cute about the photo is the expressions on each of their faces: Katie grinning and looking up adoringly at her big brother, and Ryan looking benevolently and (somewhat) patiently down at his little sister. He’s showing her how the toy works, and she’s listening intently. I wonder how many times in the coming years a similar scene will be played out between the two of them. Perhaps I’ll see similar expressions when he teaches her how to ride his old tricycle, or when he gives her the rundown of the rules of baseball, or when he shows her how to make meatloaf, or when he takes her to the parking lot of the church down the street and teaches her to drive stick.
They might lose a bit of their cuteness in the eyes of the rest of the world over the next dozen years or so, but in the eyes of their mum, I kind of suspect they’ll always look like they do in this photo: cute.
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Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Universality of Babies

Last night we watched the movie, “Babies”. The film is a fascinating – and almost entirely wordless – documentary following four babies from different parts of the world through their first year or so of life.


The opening of the film shows a close-up of a heavily pregnant mother in Namibia grinding berries to make a kind of red dye that she uses to paint her belly. We see a seconds-old baby, still connected to her mother by her umbilical cord, in a modern hospital in Tokyo. We see an hours-old baby in San Francisco, hooked up to tubes and monitors in another modern hospital. And we see a days-old baby being tightly swaddled in blankets and tucked in his mother’s arms as she climbs onto the back of a motorbike, apparently for the trip back to her home in Mongolia.

As the movie progresses, each group of scenes seems to have a kind of a theme: how the babies eat, how the babies interact with their siblings and parents and pets, the various environmental dangers that the babies face. Some groups of scenes are remarkably similar, and some are literally worlds apart. We see each baby being fed by its parents – in three cases, being nursed by a mother, and in the fourth, being given a bottle by a father. The details may be different – the Namibian mother, for example, nurses her baby while sitting in the dirt, leaning over him to grind grain, while a second, slightly older baby nurses at her other breast, while the Japanese mother reclines comfortably in her bed as she nurses – but the essentials are universal. Even the sibling interactions are hilariously similar. The Mongolian baby sits in the middle of a yurt draped with colorful woven rugs and wails periodically as his older brother flicks him in the face with a scrap of cloth. The Namibian baby sits on the ground and periodically wails as his older brother pushes him away. One of the funniest sequences in the entire film is a series of scenes involving very patient and long-suffering family cats. We see one of the babies looking on as his brother pulls on a leash around the neck of a large (and recumbent) cat, the cat limply allowing itself to be dragged with an expression on its face that would certainly be an eyeroll, if cats could roll their eyes. We see another baby sitting with a similarly patient cat on his lap, roughly grabbing at the cat’s fur and ear as the cat simply lies there, apparently resigned to its fate. And in an especially hysterical transition, we then cut to one more cat, carefully sitting out of reach of a baby and watching it warily.

Even the scenes that show how different the babies’ upbringings are have a core of universality, though. We see the Namibian baby calmly playing in the dirt as a herd of cattle wanders around him, the solid, powerful hooves looking no less dangerous than the heavy, wicked horns. The Mongolian child lies on a rug-draped couch as a large rooster with huge, dagger-like spurs casually hops up and saunters past. The American child careens across a playground on a little car, plowing through a crowded sidewalk and face-planting magnificently in a large sandbox. The dangers may vary from place to place, but there are dangers in every environment, no matter how primitive or how progressive.

But aside from the anthropological fascination I found with the film, I was also fascinated with how much of Ryan I saw in each baby. From the funny little newborn facial expressions, to the wide-eyed curiosity, to the babbling and mouth sounds, to random objects going directly into the mouth, to the jelly-legged attempts to stand up, there was a sense of familiarity in every scene and with every child. The soft cooing and singing of the mothers as they rocked sleepy babies made me smile as I thought of myself doing the same thing. Even the tightening in my chest as I saw each baby in danger of being hurt was recognizable as a sensation felt by every parent in a similar situation.

Ryan is not exactly like any other baby that ever has or ever will be on this earth, but there are some things about his life that have been experienced by every other baby that ever has or ever will be on this earth. It’s a wonderful blend of uniqueness and commonality.

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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Brothers and Sisters

We've all seen siblings playing together, and it's always adorable (at least, until the scratching, biting, and hair-pulling starts). Two little kids sitting side by side, sharing toys and genes. It's heart-melting. But you know what's even cuter? When the siblings are years apart in age, no toys in common, no hand-me-down clothes passed from one to the other - but still having a grand old time playing together.

Go-Kart racing!

Graduation party!

Hanging out by the Jacuzzi!

Poolside kisses (and hair grabbing)!

Rosemary adores her little brother, and as you can see by these photos, the feeling is clearly mutual. He gazes into her face in rapt attention - is he comparing her features to his own? He twines her hair around his fingers - is he noticing the similar color? He chortles when she tickles him - is he amazed that she knows the exact "family tickle spots"?

Ryan is a very social baby, and loves attention from anyone at all. And Rosemary is great with babies and little children, and is very good at entertaining them. But there's something very special about the two of them playing together that goes beyond the usual gregariousness. It's just that they're brother and sister. And it doesn't get any more special than that.


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