Photo a Day: Catchup

I had the best of intentions of keeping up with daily Photo a Day posts this month. But obviously, that didn't happen. I got in a few, then I fell completely off the bandwagon. But I'm trying to climb back on with a single photo that covers a multitude of missed topics.

These items are some sewing supplies that I inherited from my grandmother, who passed away a few months ago. We shared a love for sewing, although she was more of a knitter than a seamstress. The wood surface is a lovely Ethan Allen sewing table that she passed down to me decades ago, when I was in college. But the pincushion and button jar are more recent acquisitions.

When I look at these items, I am reminded of my grandmother. She was a SWEET (day 20), elegant, feisty lady with a gentle grace and a sharp wit. She was overflowing with LOVE (day 10) and KINDNESS (day 11) for others. When I look at this old-fashioned RED (day 13) pincushion, it reminds me of her huge HEART (day 14). It may be SOMETHING NEW (day 16) in my home, it is also SOMETHING OLD (day 19) that is full of wonderful family memories. It is a FAVORITE PHOTO (day 17), not because it is perfectly composed or lit or because the subject is especially beautiful, but because of all the happy thoughts it evokes in my mind. It is, indeed, A VIEW I LOVE (day 18). And above all else, THIS MADE ME SMILE (day 21).

We're Overthinking This - and It's Exhausting

I don't know about you, but I feel like I'm hitting the pandemic wall lately. Maybe it's the knowledge that we're approaching the one-year mark; maybe it's building on my usual February doldrums; maybe it's the extra tiredness and frustration from the weight I've put on. But it recently occurred to me that there's another complicating factor: every single thing I do requires thinking.

Let me explain.

Under normal circumstances, if I needed a haircut, I'd simply go get a haircut. In my case, I wouldn't even bother making an appointment, I'd just drop in at Supercuts. But right now, even though I haven't had a haircut in a year and a half (I was already overdue when this whole thing started), I can't just walk in to Supercuts and do it. I have to think: is the risk of spending time in public with other people, especially when social distancing isn't an option (at least from the hairdresser), worth getting a haircut? Especially now, when my hair is getting really ratty and unhealthy looking, to the point where it's affecting my self worth, maybe it's worth the risk. But it's certainly not a no-brainer - well, not to me, anyway. Even as simple a choice as getting a haircut requires dwelling on health risks and safety concerns and putting time and effort into coming up with a decision.

It's exhausting. 

Planning dinner is more difficult than it was, because I can't just run out to the store to grab the one ingredient I don't have on hand for the recipe I just came across. I'm not the one doing the grocery shopping, so I can't even plan on the fly depending on what's on sale. I have to think about what's in the pantry and add things to the list instead of relying on walking through the store, noticing an item, and thinking, "Oh, I need that." I need to spend time thinking and planning instead of making it up as I go. This is a huge change of mindset that requires significant mental energy for me. 

And it's not just meals that require planning in advance. All those little sundries that I'd normally grab from CVS on my way home from work, like toothpaste and shampoo and chapstick and Valentines, have to be thought through ahead of time and either ordered online or added to a list for when there's enough on it to make it worth the trip. 

Going to the doctor (which for me is a 6x or more per year event, not just most people's annual physical) involves first a decision of whether an in-person visit is needed or if a video or phone call is acceptable, then for in-person visits, it also involves fielding a screening phone call, a confirmation phone call, and an arrival phone call, and then a further decision of whether to postpone the usual lab tests. Again, probably not a huge deal for most people, but when you throw in my usual anxiety about phone calls, the difficulty is magnified. What would normally cause minor and manageable anxiety now causes the kind of anxiety that affects my daily functioning.

It's exhausting.

My kids have three different school schedules, based on the day of the week, as well as several once-a-week extracurriculars, so there's no autopilot of "It's a weekday: wake up at 7, send the kids to the bus stop at 8:15, see them again at 4." Instead, it's "Am I putting them on the bus? Is it the day where one has a meeting at 9 but the other not until 11? Is it the day when they're both online at 8:50?" And to add to the complications, since the state recently changed the remote learning requirements, they now have additional mandatory and optional online meetings on 2 of their 3 remote days, which of course are at different times for each child. My whiteboard is no longer big enough to hold both their daily schedules. 

It's exhausting.

I think it's helpful just to recognize how much harder we're all working. For me, as least, it helps to have an answer to the question of, "What's wrong with me?" And the answer is, of course, "Nothing's wrong with me; I'm just expending 3 or 4 times as much mental energy as I'm used to on simply getting through the day." It might not help everyone, but just knowing that I'm working hard and it's not reasonable to expect myself to feel the same way that I do when I'm not working this hard makes it easier for me to deal with.

I guess I'm writing all this not only to reassure myself but to reassure anyone else out there who's struggling right now: You're not crazy; life has gotten harder. And not always in ways that we can get used to. We've all found ways to cope and to work within the constrains of the "new normal," but that doesn't mean it isn't harder. It's a lot harder; more so for some of us than for others. But we're all struggling and we're all doing our best to manage. So let's also work harder to offer each other (and ourselves) a little grace and sympathy. It's a tough world out there. Let's try to make it a little easier for each other. 

Photo a Day: Bright

Knowing that today's Photo a Day theme was "Bright," I was delighted to wake up this morning to a bright, sunny day with a clean coating of fresh snow over the old. From every window there is a glitter of white sun on snow. The sky is a clear, deep blue without a hint of clouds, and the sunshine is streaming through the windows, casting bright bands across the floor. There were almost too many opportunities for a "bright" photo. 

I wandered around the house, looking for options. I took a picture of blocks of sunlight streaming through the glass doors into the dining room, with bands of shadow cast by the door jambs. I took several closeups of icy snowbanks glittering. I took a few of bushes covered in snow and branches encased in ice. I took several of a leafless birch tree jutting up into the deep blue sky. They all illustrated "bright" very clearly. 

But in the end, I opted for the photo with the most interesting composition.

I love this photo not only because of the clear blue sky and the sparkling icicles, but because of the juxtaposition of curves and straight lines, of the blue color block of the sky and the white color block of the eaves, of the rough branches and the smooth roofline and window frame, of the interior wood and the exterior woods. 

I'm not much of an artist - I can barely draw a straight line - but I do have enough of an artistic eye to recognize a well-composed photograph (or at least, a decently-composed one). I consider myself a creative person rather than an artistic one, but photography is a place where, if I work hard enough and experiment a lot, I eventually come up with something artistically satisfying.

It may not win any awards, but I like it. It's bright.

Bright.

Photo a Day: My Happy Place

Anyone who reads my blog or my Facebook page with any kind of regularity is aware that I moved to a new house this past summer. We're in a much more rural location, and since our property includes a large section of woods, we get loads of wildlife and especially birds visiting our yard. 

There are many features about our new house that I LOVE, but one of my most favorite is that there are huge windows everywhere, so the rooms are beautifully sunlit. And my favorite windows are a trio of arched windows in the family room that look out past my birdfeeders and into the woods in the back yard. I have spent hundreds, perhaps thousands of hours in that room watching the birds (and the deer, and the opossums, and the groundhogs, and the chipmunks, and the squirrels). I fold laundry there, I cut out patterns there, I work on my laptop there, I plan den meetings and write Sunday School lessons there, I listen to music there, I enjoy cocktails with my husband there. It is truly My Happy Place. 

Much like spending time with my cats, spending time with "my" birds brings both laughter and serenity. The blue jays' silly antics, the squabbling of the juncos, and the robins' territorial displays all make me laugh, and the cooing mourning doves, the lovely markings of the flicker, the shyness of the woodpeckers, and the sweetness of the fledglings all bring me peace.  

My Happy Place.

Photo a Day: Duo

A few months ago, my family took the plunge into the world of family pets and adopted a pair of kittens. Other than marrying my husband, this may be the best decision I have ever made in my life. These kittens are exactly what our family needed to liven up our house during this long, dreary, pandemic winter. 

The names they came with were Crockett and Tubbs, which my husband and I - being children of the 80s - found absolutely hilarious, but since the kids completely missed the reference, they were quickly renamed Misty and Shadow. However, they are more frequently referred to as Black Cat and Gray Cat, Thing 1 and Thing 2, Trouble and Double Trouble, Cat and Other Cat, and "Hey You!". Or occasionally, the Dynamic Duo. 

(I know, I know, it's supposed to be just ONE photo a day. But the internet is for cat pix, so deal already.)

Their favorite antics include wrestling in the bathtub, surfing down the hallway in the wheeled hamper, hiding under the sofa, attempting to knock the butter dish off the counter, watching the toilet flush, carrying around the catnip mouse, nose booping passersby (mainly a Misty habit), sitting on the mouse pad of whoever is using a computer (mainly a Shadow habit), staring out the windows at the birds and the squirrels, chasing pipe cleaners, sitting in boxes, and staring deeply into the eyes of anyone who is eating in the hopes of guilting them into sharing (this rarely works, but hope springs eternal). 

All but silent when they first arrived, over the past few months they have developed a fascinating collection of vocalizations that includes chirps, chitters, guttural growls, peeps, and almost-but-not-quite-meows, as well as an impressively loud pair of purrs.  

Bottom line, this duo is a constant source of both laughter and serenity, a very welcome addition to our home. 

Duo.

Photo a Day: Floral

Today's Photo a Day topic is "floral." At some times of year, that topic would be a piece of cake, with the hardest decision being which of the thousands of floral subjects both inside and outside the house would make the best photo. But in February in New England, there isn't much for florals. Except that the other day my husband brought home a beautiful white orchid.

As much as I love my outdoor garden, I am not much for houseplants. I somehow forget to take care of them, even when they're under my nose. I currently have a dish garden on my kitchen island that is surviving mainly because my husband waters it, and a small African violet that my brother-in-law coaxed from a single leaf that I am determined to keep alive at least until it blossoms once. But generally, blooming things vanish from my world during the snowy months. 

But my husband loves flowers, and frequently brings home cut flowers; roses or sunflowers or carnations or calla lilies. And now and then, he'll bring home something growing in a pot, knowing that if it is to survive, its fate must be in his hands, not mine.

I always avoided orchids, because they look (and often are) so terribly fragile. A too-thin stem that needs to be clipped to a sturdy prop. Delicate petals with tiny, intricate projections. Even their coloring is delicate, in this case pure white fading into ivory and nearly-yellow. And yet, even in my house they survive. They wilt a bit when neglected but come back to life when attended to. They may appear to be on their last legs, but a drink of water or a bit of plant food and they perk up and return to health.

I think I am a bit of an orchid at times: I wilt easily, but often it only takes a bit of attention to bring me back to myself. I can weather neglect for a while, but then start to pine. But in reality, I am much tougher and more resilient than I look!

February 2021 Photo a Day Challenge: Today's Weather

It's been quite a while since I attempted a "Photo a Day" Challenge. But today is the start of a new month, and it seems as good a time as any to jump back in the saddle. Here is this month's list, courtesy of Fat Mum Slim:

Today's subject is "today's weather." With a big winter storm about to roll in this afternoon, I considered waiting until it starts snowing to take my photo. But then I peeked out my window and realized there is already plenty of weather-related beauty out there. For example, this:

Ice can be incredibly beautiful. It sparkles in the sunlight, it drips artistically from the trees and the eaves, it forms fantastical shapes. It can protect and it can destroy. It is both incredibly strong and incredibly fragile. It can break apart rocks but it shatters at a touch. It can kill trees, knock out power lines, and burst pipes. But it also preserves our food, chills our drinks, and heals our pain. 

So while I look forward to the beauty of the snow that will come later in the day, I will also enjoy the beauty of the ice that is already here. But I'll enjoy it from inside my cozy house, with my cup of coffee and my fuzzy slippers.

Today's Weather.