My favorite line from Fiddler
on the Roof (and there are many – oh, are there many) is when Tevye is
introducing his daughters to a guest and informs him, “This is mine, and this
is mine, and this is mine, and this…this is not mine,” the latter referring to
his eldest daughter Tzeitel’s would-be suitor, Motel, who is constantly hanging
about Tevye’s home. Tevye is proud of his daughters but has little respect for
Motel – at least, not until Motel shows some backbone and claims Tzeitel for
his bride over Tevye’s objections. Once Motel becomes Tevye’s son-in-law (in
other words, “mine”), Tevye treats him very differently. Whether something is “mine”
because I earned it, I sought it, I worked for it, or merely because I
inherited or otherwise stumbled into it, it becomes more valuable and more
cherished merely because of its “mine-ness.”
We all have a natural pride in things we can label “mine.” I
am proud of my car, even though it’s not stylish or cool, because I worked hard
to save the money for it. It is mine. I am proud of my children, because they
are a part of me, and because I have worked hard to make them into polite and
pleasant people. They are mine. I am proud of my writing, because I have put
blood and sweat and tears into making it interesting, entertaining, and
insightful. I have put my heart and my soul into it. It is mine.
Some things we call “mine,” though, we really can’t claim
credit for. My house is mine, but I didn’t choose it, or decorate it, or
furnish it; I simply married into it. It is mine, and I love it, but I don’t
take the same kind of pride in it as I do certain other things because I didn’t work
for it or make it what it is. My stepdaughter is mine, but it would be
presumptuous (and disrespectful to her own parents) for me to claim
responsibility for the lovely young woman she’s become; I didn’t create her or
mold her. She is mine, and I love her, because she is an important and dear
part of my family, but I cannot claim credit for who she is.
Another important aspect of “mine” is things that are a part
of me, in some sense; part of me that will live on when I am gone. Children,
art, and writing are three examples of “mine” that live on past their creator. My
children will pass on what I’ve taught them to the next generation. They are
mine in the sense of being my legacy. An artist who creates physical works of
art such as paintings or sculptures will live on through their works, looked on
by future generations. A writer, whether a novelist, or a poet, or even a lowly
blogger such as myself, can look forward to his words being read and perhaps thought
about long after the author is in his grave. These “mines,” in a sense, are our
immortality.
So what is it that symbolizes “mine” to me? Is it my
children? My writing? Something tangible that I own? I think that the one thing
that is most uniquely mine is my story, my life. Whether I put it into words on
a page, tell it to others, or simply live it, my life is that one thing that is
absolutely, uniquely mine. It is what it is because of my choices. I have made
this path. I have cultivated the relationships around me. I may not have
controlled the situations I have encountered, but I have the sole
responsibility for the decisions I made in those situations. It is my story.
MINE.
Love this, Sandy! Thanks so much for sharing. It is definitely thought provoking and I will likely have in on my mind today. hmmm..... giving me some food for thought... could be a really interesting workshop. :-)
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