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As of a couple of weeks ago, I am the proud mom of two teenagers. Even though it seems like just last week I was the proud mom of two toddlers. And it occurs to me that there are a surprising number of similarities between those two stages of parenthood.
You're constantly coaxing them to talk to you, but when they do, half the time you have no idea what they're talking about.
Clothes and hair are a constant battle. You want both of them washed significantly more often than the kids are comfortable with, and you can never agree on acceptable styles. A good hairstylist that your kid likes is your best friend. As is Oxyclean.
They never want to wear a jacket, even when it's a literal blizzard or monsoon outside.
You are constantly astonished by the amount they eat. Where on earth are they putting it? Also, what's with the weird combinations they find so delicious?
Their sense of humor is completely mystifying. (Skibidi whaaa???)
Their rooms are always a disaster area, and you never know what you'll find when you clean them. (And it's better not to ask about it.) Febreze is an absolute must.
Their toys are more expensive than you expect. Also louder. And more easily broken.
You try to like their music, but you can only listen to so much before you need to cleanse your audio palate with REAL music from your own youth.
They do reckless and dangerous stuff, like, ALL the time.
Often involving jumping off of things.
There will probably be a trip to the emergency room before you're done with this phase of parenting.
Moderate amounts of alcohol will help you survive.
