Finding the Positives in 2020

I don't think anyone would argue with the statement that 2020 was a rough year for just about all of us. But I could certainly argue that if we look hard enough, all of us can also find some positives. Here are some of my "Yay for 2020" moments and events.

1. My husband and I were both able to keep our jobs and work from home without too many transition issues.

2. We managed to find - and buy - our dream house.

3. We were able to sell our old house with a minimum of refurbishment, and in a very short time period.

4. Because we were working from home, the moving process - including the usual fixes and updates that needed to be done after we moved - was actually easier than it might have otherwise been.

5. Despite a few unexpected hiccups and issues, the majority of contractors we worked with followed COVID rules without complaint and did their work properly, quickly, and within budget.

6. Our kids were able to meet some new friends prior to the start of school, despite being isolated. 

7. Our kids are both blossoming in their new school system.

8. Our new school system has done an amazing job of planning ahead and communicating those plans, and of responding quickly and effectively so that changes are as easy to manage as is reasonably possible.

9. Very few family members and friends have been infected with COVID, and the majority of those have had minor and manageable cases. 

10. We live right across the street from a big public park that has allowed us to ride bikes, go for walks, fly our drone, and launch model rockets in a socially-distanced and safe place. 

11. We found ourselves in a place where we were ready to get a "real" pet (as opposed to our previous fish and hamster). We adopted a pair of kittens who have turned out to be affectionate, sweet, funny, and altogether delightful. 

12. Both my husband and I have enjoyed the opportunity to do more creative cooking than we often had time for pre-pandemic. 

13. Homemade bread is THE BEST and we've been able to enjoy a LOT of it.

14. As difficult as it is to get to know new neighbors in the middle of a pandemic, we've been fortunate to meet many of them, and they have all been lovely and welcoming. 

15. Because the kids go to school virtually part of the week, my husband and I have had the unique opportunity to see them in "school" mode. It is delightful to see my son happily sharing his knowledge with others, and especially seeing him as a "Reading Buddy" to a younger student. It is a special delight to me to clearly see my own read-aloud influence. It is also delightful to see my daughter sharing her sunshiney outlook with other students who are having struggles. 

16. We have all been able to get all the medical care that we have needed in organized, safe, well-managed facilities.

17. We live one block away from a wonderful gym that offers small, COVID-safe classes that both our kids LOVE.

18. All four of us have gotten involved with the local Cub Scout pack, and kids and adults alike have found kindred spirits and enjoyed many of the new people that we've met. Plus, we've all learned new skills!

19.  Since we're not able to be involved in our usual theatrical and musical performances, we've had the opportunity to be in the audience of virtual performances at all levels, from high school to professionals. I'd forgotten how fun it is to be the audience instead of the performer. 

20. Although all the holidays we've celebrated have felt different this year, there has been a wonderful lack of pressure. No need to plan huge parties or elaborate meals or to make sure the house is immaculate for company. Everything is a little simpler, so we can focus on enjoying it instead of preparing for it.

21. We've been able to spend much more time in our beautiful new home than we would have if we'd been at work and school for most of each day. We're truly able to settle in, personalize, and enjoy the house that we love so much.

22. I have thoroughly enjoyed being able to spend a lot of time working near a window with a birdfeeder (or two, or three), listening to and watching my little feathered friends.

23. I can be surrounded by music all day long.

24. I've been able to read more books in the past 9 months than I have in the two years prior.

25. For the most part, the people that I've interacted with have been incredibly helpful, supportive, and kind to each other. 

What silver linings can YOU find in this crazy year?

Happy New Year to all, and may 2021 bring refreshment and renewal to each one of us!

Red Carpet in the Time of COVID

Without the usual red carpet awards shows, like the Oscars and the Tonys, I've been missing writing up red carpet reviews during this pandemic. But never fear! I have discovered a red carpet event that I have somehow missed over the years: The Sydney Royal Easter Show. Doesn't sound like much, does it - until you see the models. 

They're ducks. 

Yes, ducks. Very fashionable ducks.

Since I have never covered this event, there are a number of years of photographs that I can draw from. So put on your seat belts, because we're in for a bumpy night!

As I frequently do with human celebrities, I shall break down the fashions by category. 

Florals

 

This lovely Wedgewood blue frock with its lace trim is delicate and feminine, but the "shirtfront" style and double collar brings in just enough masculinity to stop it from being frilly. The double buttons are a lovely detail, and the extra pop of bright blue tulle around the hat brim draws the eyes to the wearer's face. This is a look that is likely to be copied by fashionable ducks everywhere. 

The sunflower print on this trio of casual sundresses brings a welcome note of cheeriness to the proceedings. The saucy black ruffs at the neck tone down the yellow nicely while adding just a hint of formality. It's a bit of a risk to wear such an informal style amidst the more formal satins worn by other celebriducks, but these three pull it off with aplomb.   

This mixed florals-and-solid ensemble uses a stylish cape and figure-flattering pleats to separate itself from the more traditional looks in this category. The green piping across the bust squares the shoulders nicely while also emphasizing the gracefully long neck of the wearer. The daring waist-high slit of the skirt adds a sexy element to an otherwise conservative look. Nicely done. 

Ethnic-Inspired

At the risk of being accused of cultural appropriation, this pair of elegant ladies sports matching purple and red kimonos spangled with gold flecks throughout. The slight flare from the waist breaks up the silhouette, creating a flattering line. The only addition I might make to these lovely outfits might be a coordinating paper parasol. 

Interesting textures and a scandalously short skirt call attention to this unusual middle Eastern inspired look. The hint of masculinity of the fez-style hat offsets the show of leg, and the floor-length train falling from the natural waist creates a graceful silhouette. An interesting juxtaposition of angles and softness that shouldn't work, but that somehow does.  

Satins

This lime-green look stands out for more than just its color; the ruched front, the double rows of gold braid up the bodice, the gold inset at the front of the skirt, and the capelets from each shoulder all add wonderful, eye-catching details that set it apart from the parade of other satin gowns. 

Red is always a popular color on the red carpet, but this look goes above and beyond with its flared, pantaloon-style skirt and long narrow collar with asymmetrical zig-zag trim and square-shouldered capelet. Its unique silhouette sets it apart without being too avant garde. 

Wearing a full-on wedding gown complete with veil could not be pulled off by just any duck, but this lovely lady does it well. Opting for an ivory satin bodice with softly draped neckline, but adding accents of pure white ruffles at the neck and white lace trim at the edges of the long train and overlapping peplum emphasizes her lily-white complexion, and sets off her naturally golden feet and beak beautifully. An excellent example of coordinating the gown and the wearer.

Pinks 

Pepto Bismol pink is a daring choice for anyone who's not a Barbie doll, but these ladies chose to set off their dark complexions with vivid pink accented with charmingly retro black-and-white checked trim at the collar, across the bust, along the edge of the train, and in pert little pocket flaps. The three tiny buttons down the neck provide just the right contemporary note. 

Embarrassingly similar to the wedding gown shown previously, this traditional style pale-pink dress leans too heavily on pleats and ruffles for visual interest. A simpler silhouette might have been more dramatic and more flattering, but instead this look reminds one of a partly-melted wedding cake. The maribou trim on the hat, however, is beyond perfection. 

The Men

I would be remiss if I did not include these fashionable drakes along with the ladies. Their hats are simply perfect, and the combination of sleeveless, short-fronted vests with long split tailcoats gives traditional formalwear a refreshing update. Well done, gents!

All in all, I'd say that this red carpet event rivals any human event I've ever seen. With only one fashion fail in the bunch, the ducks come out ahead in the human vs. duck fashion competition. I look forward to the next animal-human couture matchup!

The Ugly Cookie Theory

With only a few more days before Christmas, I am getting into full cookie baking mode. Despite the fact that I am not able to share my usual array of cookie plates with friends and family, I am still baking multiple batches of cookies. Last night my husband kept me company while I baked, which meant that he got to be the recipient of the Ugly Cookie.

What is the Ugly Cookie, you ask? Well, if you've ever made rolled cookies - the type where you roll out the dough with a rolling pin and then cut it into shapes with cookie cutters - you know that there is always a little bit of leftover dough that's not quite enough to roll out again. In my family, this dough is used to make an Ugly Cookie.

An Ugly Cookie is often shaped with fingers rather than a rolling pin, flattened out to a thickness similar to the previous cookies in the batch, but in no particular shape. In some cases, it may be rolled with a rolling pin but then cut with a knife into vaguely 4- (or sometimes 3-) sided shapes with at least one "unfinished" side. If it is decorated with sugar or icing, there is rarely any artistic thought put into that cookie. It gets a random sprinkle of sugar or an unformed blob of icing. It lives up to its name.

And what is the fate of the Ugly Cookie? It is certainly not worthy of being added to a cookie plate, meant to be a special gift to others. Cookie Plate Cookies are artistic, carefully and thoughtfully shaped, and beautifully decorated. They are a symbol of the giver's relationship to the receiver: lovely, prized, pleasing. An Ugly Cookie has no place on a cookie plate. Instead, the Ugly Cookie is given to a member of the family, especially one who has helped with the baking process or, as in the case last night, kept the baker company during the whole production process. 

Now, you might think that since the Cookie Plate Cookie is a symbol of the receiver's esteem in the eyes of the giver, that the contrary is true and the Ugly Cookie is a sign of the giver's disdain for the receiver. But in fact, it represents something much greater. It represents the giver's discarding all pretense. It represents the giver's complete trust in his or her relationship with the receiver. It represents the giver's willingness to be vulnerable and to present his or her own imperfections. 

When you receive an Ugly Cookie, the giver is saying, "This is not my best. But I can trust you with less than my best, because I can trust your love for me even when I am imperfect, even when I fail." 

So when I give you these, it means I love you.

But when I give you this, it means I trust that you love me. 

Greater love hath no man than this: that a man lay down his Ugly Cookie for his friend. 

Things to Do with Your Kids During a Snowstorm

We're expecting our first doozy of a snowstorm this year starting in the middle of the night tonight. My kids are in hybrid school and were scheduled for asynchronous online learning tomorrow, which means that their schedule is unaffected by the storm. Fortunately, other than a 30-minute check-in with their assistant teacher at a specific time, they can get their work done on their own time. Which means we can go outside and play in the snow almost whenever we want. Given the pandemic, I feel like this may even be an opportunity to get together with friends for a sledding date. Masks will be appreciated in the snow and cold, and single-person sleds are perfect for social distancing. Since we live directly across the street from a park with a fabulous sledding hill, I can even sponsor a hot cocoa party in the parking lot afterwards. 

If you are in a similar situation and may be looking to take a work break and hang with your kids tomorrow (inside or out), here is a list of great things to do with your kids on a snowy day.

• Go sledding. (Duh.)
• Make snow angels. (Double duh.)
• Blow bubbles and watch them freeze.
• Collect fresh snow and make sno-cones.
• Have a snowball fight.
• Fill small balloons with water and a few drops of food coloring and leave them outside to freeze, then peel off the balloons and line your walkway with multicolored "crystal" balls.
• Have a hot cocoa tasting. Experiment with using water, milk, and half and half; whipped cream vs. marshmallows; dip the rim with a little hot cocoa and roll it in colored sugar; try adding a squirt of caramel or coffee syrup.
• Bake cookies.
• Bake bread.
• Make soup.
• Go ice skating.
• Have a board game marathon.
• Make s'mores over the fireplace. Or over the stove top if you don't have a fireplace.
• Pull out the toasting forks and toast bread or cook hotdogs over the fire.
• Read one of your favorite childhood books out loud. 
• Go shovel a neighbor's driveway together.
• Shovel out all the fire hydrants on your street together.
• Pop a bunch of popcorn and make a garland to add to your Christmas tree.
• Go through some old family albums and tell them stories about when you were their age.
• Watch a holiday movie together.
• Teach your kids a new skill: how to sew on a button, how to change a tire (best if you have a garage), how to do laundry, how to fry an egg, how to change a lightbulb.
• Do a home improvement project together: hang a picture, level a table, repaint a wall, caulk a window.
• Plan a vacation. Either a real one that could actually happen after the pandemic, or a dream one. Show them how to research online. Set a budget. Make choices based on that budget. 
• If you have a bird feeder, teach them to identify some of the common birds. If you don't, sprinkle some birdseed on top of the snow and see how long it takes the birds to find it. Spread a pine cone with peanut butter and roll it in birdseed, then hang it from a tree for the birds. 
• Make a snowman. Don't forget to give it a hat, a scarf, and a carrot nose.
• Go for a walk in the snow. 
• Catch snowflakes on your tongue. 
• Do karaoke. Let the kids teach you one of their favorite songs. Teach them one of yours.
• Have a dance party in the living room. 
• Try on all the clothes in each of your wardrobes. Put everything that doesn't fit in a bag and donate it. 
• Have the kids go through all their old toys and donate ones they've outgrown. Throw away anything that's broken or has missing pieces. 
• Collect all your loose change and put them into coin rolls. 
• Teach them how to polish silver and have a tea party with your fancy silver and china.
• Have breakfast for dinner.
• Eat dinner in reverse, starting with dessert. 
• Wear your pajamas all day. Stuffed animals optional.
• Bring your sleeping bags into the living room and watch a movie that ends past their bedtimes.

Whatever you love to do with your family, do that. Whatever your kids love to do, do it with them. Let them spirit move. Don't be afraid to be silly. Don't feel you need to follow any kind of rules. Let yourself have fun. 

Happy snow day!

A Legacy of Love and Laughter

This lovely lady is my grandmother, Lucille Metcalf, who passed away suddenly last week at the age of 90. Yes, 90. And this photo is from only one year ago. Needless to say, she was a remarkable woman.

Even aside from the "grandmother stuff," she was remarkable. Born in 1930, she was part of a generation where women were expected to get married young, have a bunch of children, and not work unless they were a nurse, secretary, or teacher prior to marrying and having children. Lucille was having none of that. She earned not only a bachelor's degree but a masters degree in Religious Education. She served as the Director of Christian Education for a church in Augusta, Maine. She was a City Missionary with the Baptist City Mission Society in Boston, Massachusetts. She was the Executive Director of the Greater Lynn Council of Churches. 

She did eventually marry, at the unusually advanced age of 36 (I say that VERY tongue in cheek, as I was married at the even more advanced age of 39), to my grandfather, a widower who was  significantly older than she and who had a grown son and a grandchild. 

Marriage certainly did not change her independent and stubborn streak, either. She had a heart attack at a relatively young age, and immediately took up walking to get her health back. Her walking club stopped recording mileage when she hit 11,000 miles, but considering that she continued walking several times a week for 18 more years, it's safe to say she probably hit 20,000 miles or more. And when her cholesterol levels didn't drop the way she wanted even with all that exercise, she became a vegetarian, but in her typical gracious fashion, she continued to cook for carnivorous guests and insisted on bringing her own main dish whenever she was a guest, so as not to make extra work for her hosts.  

Although she never had children of her own, she embraced the role of grandmother to my older sister and myself with great enthusiasm. I think I was about 10 before it even occurred to me that she was not, in fact, my father's biological mother. She had, after all, been married to my grandfather by the time I was born, so she was the only grandmother on that side that I had ever known. Of course, I had seen photographs of my biological grandmother, and I'd certainly heard stories, but somehow my brain never made the logical inference that someone else had been there first. Some people call their grandmothers "Grandma," some call them "Bubbe" or "Nana" or "Bammy;" I called mine "Auntie Lu." She was just my grandmother, full stop. 

When I think of memories of Auntie Lu, I think not of long stories or major events, but of little moments. The time I stayed overnight at her house and she baked popovers for breakfast. Going to the trailer at my grandparents' campsite and her showing me how to use the hand pump to make the water flow in the bathroom sink. The way she carefully set aside portions of a main dish she was making for my dad and me before adding mushrooms. The Christmas she knit me dozens of tiny and exquisite Barbie clothes. Her beautiful, graceful handwriting on dozens of birthday cards. How proud she was when she set up her computer and taught herself to use email and the internet. My grandparents' pet parakeet, Parker, who spoke in Lu's voice but who never quite mastered "Merry Christmas," instead cheerfully wishing all holiday visitors a "Merry Chris!" Her Siamese cats, Charlie with the crooked tail and Molly who had an inordinate fondness for ice cream and a surprisingly possessive attitude toward the clothes dryer. Lu's elegant Brahmin pronunciation of the name "Met-cahf."

Auntie Lu was very proper, very much a lady, but she was never stuffy. She had a witty and occasionally rather wicked sense of humor. My husband looked forward to exchanging witty barbs with her at every visit, with good-natured teasing and bantering going both ways. One of her favorite possessions in her later years was a Teddy Ruxpin doll that would respond to vocal commands with yawns, laughs, and funny comments that always resulted in guffaws from Lu. When my children were born, she delighted in making Teddy do his tricks for them.

She reveled in being a great-grandmother just as much as she reveled in being a grandmother. She was always a tiny, petite little thing, and the first time she held my unusually large firstborn (affectionately referred to in the family as a "bag of sand"), I was afraid he would crush her. But she adored him, and he adored her right back. 

And when my daughter joined the clan, it was just as much of a mutual admiration society.

And as they grew older, that admiration never waned. 

Visits with or to Auntie Lu were always something to look forward to. The kids loved telling her about what was going on in their lives, and she loved hearing about it. She loved her family, and we loved her right back.

 

But beyond family, Lu loved all those around her. Her neighbors. Her knitters. Her walkers. Her church family. All who met her were touched by her grace, her humor, her zest for life. She touched so many lives. She left the world a better place than she found it. May we all leave such a blessed legacy of love and laughter on this earth.