Tell Parents When Their Kids Are Awesome

I am ridiculously proud of my children. I recognize that they have their failings (as we all do), but they are also amazing human beings, and at the ages of 14 and 16, they are becoming their own people and simply good human beings. 

But I recognize that, as their mother, I am decidedly biased. OF COURSE I think they're great. OF COURSE I think they're succeeding at life. OF COURSE I think they make the world a better place simply by being in it. But sometimes I wonder if I'm missing the real picture because I love them so much and I WANT them to be good people.

So when someone else tells me that they agree with me that my kids are awesome? That has to be one of the best feelings in the world for a parent. 

As a parent, raising your children to be decent human beings; to be kind, and generous, and thoughtful; to be good friends and good partners; to love and respect God, the planet, and the people around them; is the ultimate goal. The mark that my life will leave on this world is, in large part, the children that I leave behind me to care for said world. 

I try to teach them to be good people, and I think I've succeeded, but I know that I see them in a very limited capacity: at home, in the presence of their mother. I don't always see them interacting with friends, teachers, Scout leaders, religious leaders, other parents, or strangers. I assume that what I see is a reasonable representation of how they behave in general. But I don't know that for sure. Is my kid the one who's delightful at home but whom everyone else secretly hates because they're a jerk when I'm not there? Or are they truly the lovely and gracious human being that I believe them to be?

The only way to know for sure is when other people tell me. So when a teacher tells me, "Your child is lovely to have in class. They pay attention, they do their work, they help other students; they're thoughtful and curious," or a coach calls me aside to say, "Your kid works so hard to improve, and they  are so faithful in cheering on their teammates," or a theatre director says, "Your child always shows up prepared and is happy to jump in and do whatever is needed without complaining," or a Scout leader says, "Your child is so good at quietly stepping in to coach a younger Scout or helping organize an event that's getting out of hand," it really feels great. It tells me that I'm not being blinded by my love for and pride in my children, but that they really are the people that I see them as. 

And that's why I try to do the same for other parents. When I bump into the fellow track mom whose kid has coached and encouraged mine, I tell her how grateful I am for their mentorship. When I notice how dutiful and dedicated a younger Scout is in taking on leadership roles, I try to tell his parents what a great job they're doing. When I interact with a kid who is simply pleasant to be around, whose mere presence brings sunshine and joy to those around, I let their family know. Because I would want to know. 

So the next time you see a kid who's being a good kid, a good student, a good leader, a good friend, a good human - tell their family. They might know it, but if you tell them, they're REALLY know it.