I don’t normally watch the Video Music Awards, since I am a)
way too old, and b) way too square. But I stumbled across the channel right when Miley Cyrus started getting her crazy on and I couldn’t tear
myself away. And I saw enough of the good, the bad, and the ugly, fashion-wise,
to justify doing a fashion blog today. So here is my take on some of the best
and some of the worst of last night’s red carpet fashions. (In alphabetical
order.) (Mostly.)
2Chainz was wearing more than two chains, and yet that wasn’t
what made this ensemble so atrocious. It’s the VMAs, so the white T-shirt, the huge
collection of chunky gold jewelry, even the gold-on-white patterned jacket were
all edgy and appropriate. And the black, gold, and white pants came very close
to working. But they weren’t quite tight enough to be skinny jeans and yet were
too tight to be regular jeans, which landed them in an awkward, bunchy,
ill-fitting no man's land. Add to that the splash of white at the top that
looked like he was wearing his boxers on the outside, and 2Chainz landed just on
the wrong side of the cutting edge of fashion.
Arianne Grande’s dress is cute – but perhaps a bit too cute.
If she were the sweet 14- or 15-year-old I thought she was, this dress would
have been perfect: sweet, fun, demure, flattering. But at age 20, she needed
something less demure, especially at the VMAs. Adding a keyhole cutout or a
plunging back, trading the flared skirt for a form-fitting pencil skirt, ditching
the dull white pumps for a pair of studded gladiator sandals or fishnet
stockings and booties, or even just slicking her hair up into a giant,
eyebrow-stretching, tight bun on top of her head would have given her a more
edgy, adult style.
As much as I hate the idea of sneakers and jeans on the red
carpet, Austin Mahone proved that it can work. The red piping on his black
jacket and the tiny patches of red on his half-untied black tennies, his simple
but eye-catching belt buckle, and his crisp dark-wash jeans added just enough
interest to push him from “grunge” into “fashion.” And the fact that he had
clearly shaved and brushed his hair recently set him above many of his fellow
attendees.
There is no lack of skin at the VMAs, and Ciara made quite a
contribution to that category. This dress came quite close to being a hit, with
its strategically placed beading and just enough feathers on the hem to flare
without looking like a bird exploded. I even liked the grace of the beaded
pattern reaching down over her hands, which reminded me of Indian henna
painting. But that single giant teardrop-shaped cutout right below the crotch
ruined the entire effect. With Ciara’s figure, she could have worn pretty much
anything and still looked stunning, but this dress managed to force me to stare
at her crotch, which (hopefully) was not the intended effect.
The group Danity Kane managed to unify four very different
looks by using a few commonalities in very different ways. All four outfits were
black and/or white, revealed plenty of leg, had long sleeves, and were
vintage-inspired. But each look was so completely different! From left to
right, we had a 1940s pinup girl bikini topped with a tailored tux jacket; an
all-black ensemble with plenty of cleavage, a wide belt, and a 1940s-style peplum
over a short pencil skirt; an 80s-inspired square-shouldered, round-necked
jacket with a flared asymmetrical hem, parading as a dress; and a 1960s romper
with a skinny gold belt and a shawl-collared tailcoat. Sexy without being too
revealing, eye-catching without being weird, allowing for individual style but
clearly a unified group. Well done, ladies.
When I first saw Ellie Goulding in this dress, I loved it. I
LOVED it. The primness of the mock turtleneck and severely squared-off almost-cap
sleeves, the sheer simplicity of the lines, the tasteful slit length, the fact
that a leotard-style undergarment was clearly being worn rather than more
revealing lingerie. But then I looked closer and realized that what I had
thought were metal discs were in fact pointed studs. Covering her entire body. And
to be honest, I loved it even more once I knew. But I still can’t figure out
how on earth she sat down in it. Maybe the leotard underneath is made of
Kevlar? I have no idea, I just know that I love this dress.
Like Ciara, Iggy Azalea wore a sheer gown studded with strategically-placed
metallic beading. The golden wings and branches reminded me of an American
eagle clutching an olive branch, and yet the effect was still feminine and
graceful. The color was a bit too close to her slicked-back hair, but her vivid
scarlet lips broke the monochromaticism and even gave a subtle nod to the color
of the red carpet itself.
One of many dresses with overly demure cuts but overtly sexy
styling, details, and fabrics, Katy Perry’s skin-tight, leopard-print dress showed
off her gorgeous figure without showing too much of it. The golden leaves across
the bodice and the high neck pulled her nicely out of “You Tarzan, me Jane”
territory, and the simple sleek hair and shoes kept the look from being too
busy.
All I will say about L’il Kim’s outfit is what I said to my
husband when I first saw this get-up during the show: Compared to what she
usually wears, it’s downright loose-fitting and covered up.
If you’re 8 feet tall and weigh 97 pounds, you can pretty
much wear anything and look spectacular. But if you can look like this in a
dress like this, this is what you should wear all the time. Heaven knows I
would. (By the way, her name is Melanie Iglesias and I have no idea what she’s
famous for. Probably for looking like this.)
I will address Miley Cyrus’ fashion sins of later in the
evening later in this post. But I actually liked her red carpet outfit. It was kind
of Carmen Miranda meets Gidget meets post-makeover Sandy from Grease. I didn’t love her hairstyle, but the choice
of simple shoes and minimal accessories worked, as did the bright red lips, and
she’s youthful enough that the skintight pants and midriff-baring top were cute
instead of slutty. If only she’d continued that theme throughout the evening.
Robin Thicke and wife Paula Patton both hit the right notes
on the red carpet. Thicke’s tux was a contemporary slim cut, its formality
relieved by an open collar and lack of cummerbund, vest, or tie. Patton’s gown seemed
to be made of strips of video film, a charming tribute to the awards
themselves.
When I first saw Selena Gomez in this gown, her hair was
draped over the front of her right shoulder, obscuring part of her corset. I
thought the black scrolled detailing was a symmetrical V-shaped insert at the
neckline, and I loved the gown. The studding running along the slit then up the
side seam of the dress, the soft yet structured texture of the fabric, the
perfectly matching lips and nails were all lovely details. So I was
disappointed at first when she flipped her hair back and I realized how much of
the corset was revealed. But the more I looked at it and thought about it, it’s
really not that revealing, and when I reminded myself that Selena is 21 and
trying to break out of her Disney teen image, I realized that she could have
done a lot worse than this dress.
Another example of getting an outfit half-right is Shailene
Woodley’s skirt and top. The silky ethnic- print handkerchief skirt is lovely
and flattering. But the boring, plain black crop top is a bit reminiscent of an
oversized sports bra. Perhaps had it been a dressier fabric, or a brighter
color, or incorporated some sequins or beading or SOMETHING to bring it some
visual interest and tie it to the style of the skirt, it would have worked. But
given those impressive abs and stick-thin legs, my guess is she’s just used to
spending a lot of time in the gym where a sports bra is the standard uniform.
As some of the most youthful stars in attendance, Willow and
Jaden Smith managed to fit in without sticking out. Willow’s androgynous printed
tee, baggy overalls, and nearly makeup-free face were feminized (as if her gender
could ever be in doubt with that amazingly beautiful and feminine face) with
suede wedge boots and a tiny choker. Jaden channeled his father’s brand of
ghetto chic in simple layered black tees, jersey pants, and tennies. Apparently
“cool” is genetic, and these two got a double dose.
And finally, Taylor Swift topped the charts with this sleek
deep blue column with plunging spangled neckline. Her softly waved hair along
with her slender, curvy silhouette and classic makeup all channel old Hollywood
glamour. Apparently the show’s producers agreed, since Swift was front and
center in about three quarters of the crowd shots during the course of the
show.
And since it really wouldn’t be right to publish a fashion
blog about the 2013 VMAs without showing Miley and Gaga’s performance outfits,
let me close with these images and a few very brief comments.
Lady Gaga is wearing even less fabric than Miley, yet her costume
and her dance enhanced her musical performance, rather than distracting from
it. Miley somehow managed to look like an untalented tramp even though she is
neither untalented nor (to my knowledge) a tramp. This is the difference
between using your sexuality to your advantage and just throwing your sexuality
around in the hopes that people will notice. They will, but probably not in a good way.
Selena Gomez and Arina Grande are my forever love! Admiring them since my childhood!
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