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I know it’s a bit early for Christmas shopping for most of
us, but you know how you always have that ONE person who’s impossible to buy
for so you start looking for Christmas gifts in, like, February in the hopes of
finding something cool that they don’t already have? Or maybe YOU’RE the
hard-to-buy-for person and everyone in your family is bugging you for some good
gift suggestions. Here is my list of ten unusual Christmas gift ideas which I
guarantee that neither you nor anyone on your gift list has already.
You’re welcome.
Flavors of America
Salt Collection ($60, uncommongoods.com)
11 corked test tubes of salt from throughout the United
States, including smoked, flavored, and infused varieties, all presented in a
base of “reclaimed American cedar.” And once you’ve used up the salt, you can “use
the test tubes as a delightful bud vase.”
2015 Bubble Wrap
Calendar ($25, uncommongoods.com)
Yes, a “bubble wrap calendar” is exactly what you think it
is. If you can restrain yourself to popping a single bubble every day, this is
the calendar for you! Plus “the weekends are in bold for quick reference.”
There’s a selling point for ya.
Meteorite Moon Rock ($39.99,
gifts.com)
This 12 mg specimen of genuine meteorite comes in a lovely
gift box with “a [sic] high
resolution artwork [which] may vary in design.” Considering that the box itself
is roughly 2 inches by 1 inch, and I’m pretty sure the small object inside the
white circle shown on top of the “artwork” is the rock itself, you may want to
consider throwing in a magnifying glass as well.
Monogrammed Steak
Branding Iron ($59.95, gifts.com)
You know what I think every time I toss a steak on the
grill? I think, “Gee, I wish I could burn my initials into this piece of meat
before I cook it.” With this personalized branding iron, now I can. Plus it
comes with a lovely cedar gift box. AND your choice of bandana. (The bandana
does not seem to be monogrammed, but you can easily rectify that, now that you
have a personalized branding iron.)
Virtual Bartender
Scale and App (Brookstone; they don’t seem to be sharing the price online…hmmm)
Love to drink but can’t mix a decent cocktail to save your
life? Hook this little scale up to your tablet or smartphone, download the free
app, punch in your cocktail of choice (or type in the ingredients you have on
hand and let the app make a suggestion) and start pouring. The screen will tell
you what to add and even show you a virtual glass indicating when to stop
pouring – but it’s okay if you overpour, because it will recalculate the
ingredients accordingly. (Just be sure you have some really big glasses on hand.) Cocktail shaker, cable, and cute little stand for your phone all included.
Hidden Message Collar
Stays ($45, redenvelope.com)
Love notes are so passé; instead, engrave your 30- and 35-character
messages of love (or whatever) on these 12 stainless steel collar stays,
presented in a lovely “black bonded leather carrying case lined in red faux
suede.” They even suggest a few messages to get you started, like “do or do
not. There is no try.” (Apparently nothing says romance like quoting an ancient
alien Muppet while misusing capitalization.) But don’t even think about talking dirty, as “orders that use inappropriate
language may be cancelled.”
Hammer Time Wall Clock
($39.50, cafepress.com)
If this item requires any kind of explanation at all, then
this is not the gift for you. Move along; nothing to see here.
Planet Plates ($42.95,
amazon.com)
This set includes eight 10” melamine plates, each depicting a
different planet (sorry, Pluto). And they’re dishwasher safe! But don’t put
them in the microwave. Mercury would probably be okay but Neptune would definitely
melt. (Insert your own Uranus joke here.)
Spidey-Sense Shirt
($40, thinkgeek.com)
This electronic proximity detector lets you live out your
wildest superhero fantasies! Well, you can’t fly, or bend iron with your bare
hands, or run faster than a speeding bullet, or see through walls, or – okay,
never mind that stuff. Clip this (not-so) little device on the back of your collar and you'll develop a Super-Spidey Sense all
your own as it vibrates whenever someone comes within five feet of you! Not
recommended for use in crowds or elevators. Cheap T-shirt included at no extra
cost.
Sunglasses made from
old vinyl records ($435, Vinylize.com)
Your kids won’t even understand what’s unusual about these
sunglasses, which are manufactured in Budapest from old phonograph records. Sadly,
they do not seem to come with any kind of certificate letting you know whether
you’re wearing Hootie and the Blowfish, Nickelback, or Lawrence Welk. They do
come with a glasses case made from a single 7-inch vinyl record, however, which
is presumably identifiable.
So there you have it: an entire list of gifts that you can bet no-one you know already has!! As to whether anyone you know WANTS them, I'll leave that determination up to you. Merry Christmas!
