Lent Photo a Day: Mercy

Yesterday’s Photo a Day subject was forgive; today’s is mercy. So what is the difference between forgiving and showing mercy? The dictionary defines forgive as “to grant pardon for or remission of; absolve. To give up all claim on account of; remit. To grant pardon to. To cease to feel resentment against.” It defines mercy as “compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one’s power; compassion, pity, or benevolence.”

It’s a pretty fine distinction. I’m not even sure I understand the subtleties completely based on these definitions. But to me, the difference is that mercy is given to an offender who is under your power. Mercy is undeserved forgiveness. Mercy is the byproduct of love and compassion. Forgiveness can be given grudgingly. Mercy cannot.

Some of the most beautiful words ever written about mercy are spoken by Portia in Shakespeare’s “The Merchant of Venice”:

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd,

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:

It blesseth him that gives and him that takes."

Here are a few other wise words about mercy, spoken by the famous and not-so-famous:

“I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.” – Abraham Lincoln

“For children are innocent and love justice, while most of us are wicked and naturally prefer mercy.” – G.K. Chesterton

“The Lord’s mercy often rides to the door of our heart upon the black horse of affliction.” – Charles H. Spurgeon

“Mercy is the stuff you give to people who don’t deserve it.” – Joyce Meyer

“Because it strikes me there is something greater than judgment. I think it is called mercy.” – Sebastian Barry

Mercy is given when judgment and justice are deserved. Mercy is a blessing both to the one who offers it and the one who accepts it. Mercy is a washing away of an offense, as if it had never happened. Mercy is starting fresh. Mercy is cleansing. Mercy is purifying. 

Mercy.

Lent Photo a Day: Forgive

Of all the people in my life who need my forgiveness on a regular basis, the ones who are at the top of the list most often have got to be my kids. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. My kids are generally good, well-behaved, thoughtful, lovable kids. But they are kids, which means they screw up and lie and disobey and get into trouble on a regular basis. Most of the time they’re so genuinely penitent and sweet that they’re easy to forgive. But then there are the days when they’re crazy and whiny and wired and tired and naughty and loud and frustrating all day long. There are days when I go to bed exhausted with the playroom still looking like this because I don’t have the energy either to make them clean it up or to clean it up myself.

When I look at this mess, I don’t find it easy to forgive them. They know that the rule is that you put away one toy before playing with another. They know that the rule is to pick up all their toys before bedtime. They are perfectly capable of putting things away neatly. But sometimes they just don’t do it. And they force me to be the bad guy who orders them to clean up, who stands over them like a prison guard, scowling and scolding, while they whine and plead. And sometimes I resent them for it. Why can’t they just clean it up quickly and be done with it in five easy minutes instead of drawing it out into half an hour of agony on both sides? Why can’t they understand that if they just obey, everyone wins?!??? WHY CAN’T THEY JUST CLEAN UP THEIR BLOODY TOYS?!!!!????

And the answer to that is, because they’re kids. And that’s what kids do. They test their limits. They try to get people to do stuff for them. They shirk responsibility. They whine and they complain. And they need forgiveness for their attitude. But you know what else? So do I. I need their forgiveness for my attitude. I need them to forgive me for my short temper, for my impatience, for my anger. I need them to forgive me for letting them get away with stuff sometimes, which just makes it harder when I do enforce the rules. I need them to forgive me for letting my bad day become their bad day.

And that’s a lesson they can teach me, even as I’m teaching them the same lesson: How to forgive.

Forgive.