Through a Stranger's Eyes

Tonight, our new pastor is coming over for dinner for the first time. Any time we have guests, especially if this is the first time that a particular guest has been to our house, I find myself looking at my house through a stranger’s eyes. I scrub away the everyday dirt in the hallway that I don’t even notice most days. I wipe off the small handprints that I usually ignore around the edge of the coffee table. I hide away the messily-packed diaper bag in the closet. I try to make my house spotless and perfect for company. But of course, it’s never quite perfect. At least, it’s probably not perfect through a stranger’s eyes.

A stranger’s eyes see dirty fingerprints on the piano keys, but I see two budding pianists happily giving an impromptu concert.

A stranger’s eyes see couch cushions that are all askew, but I see the remains of a spaceship and a fort and a pirate ship built by a giggling adventurer.

A stranger’s eyes see cracks in the hallway tile, but I see all the times I’ve told the funny story about coming home to discover that our heavy glass chandelier had committed suicide.

A stranger’s eyes see chipped paint from the recliner scraping the wall, but I see my father-in-law sitting comfortably in his favorite chair happily snuggling his grandchildren.

 

A stranger’s eyes see a messily stacked pile of clean laundry on the stairs, but I see a small child struggling to fold some clothes as Mama’s helper.

A stranger’s eyes see a few toys under the sofa, but I see a child’s much-loved and much-missed treasures waiting to be discovered with squeals of joy.

A stranger’s eyes see drips of food on the floor, but I see the determined face of a little boy and a little girl struggling to master the art of using a spoon and fork.

 

When a stranger is coming to visit, I try to erase a few of those “imperfections.” But as for those I can’t or don't erase, hopefully by the end of the visit that stranger will no longer be a stranger but a friend, who sees all those imperfections - and their beauty - through my eyes.

It Smells Like Family

I was recently listening to a radio interview with a woman who had written a cookbook. She told a story about one time when her son, who was home from college on winter break, was on his way to work one morning and called to her, “Hey Mom, is it okay if Joe from work comes for dinner tonight?” She said that was fine, then on his way out the door, he tossed out, “By the way, Joe used to be a professional chef.” She thought about the menu she had planned for that night – meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans – and considered changing it to something more gourmet, but decided she didn’t have time. That evening, as her son and Joe walked into the kitchen, Joe took a deep breath and announced happily, “Yum, it smells like family in here!”

There’s something to be said for that. I love filet mignon and duck a’l’orange as much as the next guy (maybe more), but comforting, family style foods like chicken and rice casserole, shepherd’s pie, and meatloaf make my heart as happy as they make my taste buds. So, like that cookbook author, I don’t let myself be intimidated by guests who may have a more well-honed palate than I – I just try to make them happy with something homespun and delicious. Remember the scene from the animated movie “Ratatouille” where the bitter, cynical food critic comes to the restaurant and tastes the ratatouille – and is instantly brought back to his childhood and his mother’s simple cooking?

His sour expression cracks into a smile and he takes boyish delight in the simple but delicious meal.

That’s how I like to entertain. Simple enough that I’m not spending hours preparing food before a party or locked in the kitchen during the party instead of enjoying my guests, but still delicious enough that my guests feel special and pampered. Who needs to stress over whether a soufflé will fall or a béchamel will break or a meringue will separate? Even if everything comes out perfectly, if I’ve used up that much energy panicking over the menu, I won’t be able to enjoy the food or my guests’ company.

So tonight, when we’re hosting a birthday party for my sister- and brother-in-law, the menu will include steak tips over Caesar salad, fresh Italian bread from a local bakery, and a chocolate cake from Costco. Easy and delicious. And I promise, it will smell just like family.