The word that immediately comes to mind as I think over the
fashions I saw at the Emmy Awards last night is “divided.” Many of the gowns
had a part that I loved but a part that I hated; or I loved it but my husband
hated it; or the online reviews are split between loving and hating a gown; or
I simply was torn between loving and hating a particular gown, for whatever
reason. Here are some examples of the worst offenders (or are they the best?
I’m still not sure).
Good Style, Bad Color
There were a number of gowns that had lovely cuts and
silhouettes, but the color just did not work on the wearer. Anna Faris wore a
vivid yellow gown that was a gorgeous color, but it clashed with her skin tone,
making her look both sallow and pale, especially in combination with her
platinum hair. I loved the full skirt, the not-too-high slit, the beautifully
wrapped bodice, and the adorable lizard brooch at the back, but the color
completely ruined the effect. At the opposite end of the spectrum was January
Jones in a beige dress that vanished into her skin. I loved the pleated lace
skirt with the solid panel at the hem and the severely structured yet
flattering bodice, but the overall look was too washed out.
Top vs. Bottom
A number of gowns seemed to be suffering from identity
crises, with tops and bottoms that seemed to belong to different dresses. Michele
Dockery was a prime example: her red halter with giant loops at the back would
have been lovely with a different color and cut of skirt, and her burgundy
skirt with flat pleats in front and fuller pleats in back had interesting
details like an asymmetrical hem and faux bustle construction, but it just didn’t
work with the top. Likewise, Kate Mara’s white column skirt with a high slit
was lovely and flattering (I even liked the pockets. Really!), but it was not in
the same style as her bohemian crocheted top. It actually might have worked
without the side-boobage, but as it was, it was too much of a mish-mash of
slouchy and structured.
A few others had tops and bottoms that went together, but
one part or the other just didn’t flatter the wearer. Amy Poehler’s trumpet
skirt was a lovely silhouette for her, and I adored the charming Chinese
dragons at the hips, with their tiny red tongues and fluffy feather details,
but the top had oddly scooped cap sleeves and a matronly gathered collar that
called for a more revealing skirt to balance it. Claire Danes, on the other
hand, also had a lovely and flattering full skirt on her lace gown, but her top
was a bit too revealing, appearing to be sliding down her body and successfully
disguising any voluptuousness she may have. (In the interest of fairness, the
open back was gorgeous even though it was also very revealing.)
One Little Detail
And then there were the gowns that would have been fabulous
if the designer had left out one small detail. In the case of Kaley Cuoco, the
sheer panel across her ribcage made her look very short-waisted and stumpy,
whereas if the swath of color had continued evenly down her torso this would
have been one of my favorite looks of the night. Julianne Hough nearly pulled
off her very daring gown, and also would have been a knockout if she had opted
for a short skirt under her transparent gown rather than what appears to be a
pair of granny panties. Heidi Klum made a rare misstep with just a bit too much
heavy-looking fabric at the neck, making her look top-heavy and
disproportionate. And I could have forgiven poor Zosia Mamet’s stylist for
leaving her beautiful watercolor gown hemmed to the wrong length if it hadn’t
been ruined by the addition of a bizarre white bib and black pleather…what?
Breastplate? Boob swath? Mini-kini? I don’t know what to call it, but I hope I
never see one again. Ever.
Split Decision
There were a few gowns that those watching with me (in other
words, my husband) and I disagreed on, and several that the online reviewers
also disagreed on. Julie Bowen’s gown was a lovely color against her sun-kissed
skin and hair, and the draping of the bodice and the fullness at the hem
created a lovely silhouette, but to some eyes it looked very bottom-heavy and unwieldy.
I adored Connie Britton’s teal velvet with metallic gold embroidery, but my
husband thought the bodice looked unsupported and in danger of sliding out of
place. Julia Louis-Dreyfus wore a shiny silver column that looked like
thousands of sparkly mirrors at some angles but like bad 1960s crochet in others,
and she could really have used a pop of color in a piece of jewelry or a
handbag or some lip color to avoid looking washed out. And Christina Hendricks,
whose figure I envy (although a figure that voluptuous has to be a nightmare to
dress), looked both curvy and contained in her black dress, but somehow managed
to also look a bit matronly and overly covered up. I’m still torn on whether I
love or hate all four of these looks.
Clear Winners
There were quite a few gowns that hit it right on the money,
though. My favorites of the night included both of the Deschanel sisters, who
were charmingly color-coordinated yet each in her own unique style. More
subdued Emily wore her hair in a classic updo with an elegant one-shouldered
grey-blue lace column; bubblier Zooey wore her hair in soft waves with a simple
ice-blue satin sheath with a deep keyhole and a high slit. Tiny Fey chose a
simple trumpet-style wide-necked halter in striking cobalt that highlighted her
gorgeous figure. Sarah Hyland’s deep emerald gown was covered with a layer of transparent
black lace, which also served to fill in the plummeting neckline and add a hint
of sweet demureness, and was gathered beautifully into a wide black satin belt.
Alison Hannigan and my perennial favorite Carrie Underwood both wore deep
purple gowns with similarly draped sweetheart necklines and even wore their
hair in similarly sideswept loose waves, but Hannigan’s shiny satin gown was
tightly fitted to the thigh then flared into a mermaid style, where Underwood’s
skirt was a more traditional ballgown, wrapping its fullness into a black belt.
And Sofia Vergara’s vivid red, tightly fitted to the knee, mock peplum,
lace-covered gown was the most stunning look of the night, eliciting the words,
“Va-va-va-voom!!!” from this reviewer.
Clear Losers
Of course, no red carpet critique would be complete without listing
a few losers. By far, the two worst looks of the evening go to Robin Wright and
Lena Dunham, who – sadly – are both actresses that I love, but who make
frequent fashion missteps. Wright hides her lovely figure in a dull, black,
high-necked, cap-sleeved column that, combined with her pale makeup and
slightly sad expression, make her look like she’s on her way home from a rather formal
funeral. And Lena Dunham, please fire your stylist for putting your lovely self
in this awful gown. The fabric looks like a couch that’s been in a church
basement since 1973, and the flat fullness of the skirt front adds 80
pounds to her figure. I actually love the cut of the bodice, especially the
back with the open panel below the tie and the lovely framing of her tattoo (I’m not a big tattoo fan, but if you have them, make your clothes work with
them, not against them). But the overall look is just unforgiveable.
Fortunately, the winners far exceed the losers, and even the losers aren't as bad as they've been some years. At least this year no one was wearing this:
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