Emmy Award Fashions 2014: The Year of “Almost But Not Quite”

I’m not a big television watcher (other than, obviously, all PBS kids’ programming, Nick Jr. On Demand, and everything on Sprout), so the Emmy Awards don’t particularly interest me. I do, however, love covering red carpet fashions, so although I didn’t watch Monday night’s awards show, I did very eagerly look through the red carpet photos the next morning. And I have to say that for the most part, I was unimpressed.

But what was surprising is that so many dresses were almost wonderful, but not quite. They were 95% of the way there, but then took a horrible wrong turn somewhere. Here are a few examples of “almost but not quite.”

I love Mayim Bialik, but she has no fashion sense. Her natural tendency is to dress like a homeless person – a cute homeless person that you want to hang around with and talk to, but definitely one who doesn’t have a lot of clothing options or much of a sense of style. She always looks vaguely uncomfortable on the red carpet. But this bright blue lace dress really has a lot going for it. The neckline and sleeves are feminine yet simple enough to suit her style. The color is absolutely stunning on her. Her choice of hairstyle and accessories are unfussy and appropriate. But it’s just too voluminous. If the bodice had been paired with a sleeker, narrower skirt, it would have been much more flattering. Almost…but not quite.

Betsy Brandt’s dress was similarly close. The watercolor printed fabric is lovely, and the general lines of the dress from the top down to the hips are lovely. But the stiff crinoline paired with the too-long-for-tea-length but too-short-for-floor-length hemline made it look clunky. Almost…but not quite.

Katherine Heigl’s dress had some lovely features – gorgeous, champagne-colored fabric, a soft geometrically curved neckline, lovely panel detailing at the waist. But the hem was too long, the three-quarter-length sleeves were too casual, and the overall style was a bit too retro wedding gown. Almost, but not quite.

Sarah Hyland’s two-piece outfit looked cute on her, but it also looked a bit like a 10^th grade sewing project. It was not well-fitted, with wrinkles along the darts, a baggy waistband, and a wildly uneven hem. Almost, but not quite.

Hayden Panettiere had perhaps the most potential of any of the gowns that just barely missed the mark. Maternity wear can easily go awry, but this gown started off beautifully: crinkly, draped, silver pleating; just the right amount of cling to flatter her burgeoning figure; diagonal lines making her look like a sweet starburst. But then a giant fake (note the obvious modesty panel) plunging neckline clinging oddly. Almost. Not quite.

Teyonah Parris came pretty close in this two-part gown. Gorgeous color combinations, with a simple striped bodice in striking contrast to a pale lime green skirt, all the colors setting off her lovely skin. But the structure of the skirt is just a bit…off. Is it a long pencil skirt with an overlay? Is it a stiff, lumpy ballgown skirt? In other photographs, it appears that the overlayer of the skirt can be lifted to form a long narrow cape of sorts that is attached at the back of the waist rather than the back of the neck. Nice try, but still only almost.

Julia Roberts’ source of “almost” is hard to identify. I like the cut of the bodice, with its deep V-neck, fitted sleeves, and asymmetrical peplum. I even like the bumpy, textured, vaguely sparkly fabric. But something looks disproportionate. Maybe the skirt is a bit too short, or perhaps it’s a bit too full. Maybe it needed one more layer under it. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s definitely an almost but not quite kind of look.

Kerry Washington’s orange column with silver seaming and black lace underskirt just barely made it into the not quite category for me. The lines of the dress are lovely, but some of the details are just wrong. The black peekaboo looks too much like bike shorts, the bodice is not smoothly fitted or supportive enough, and the placement of the waist seam is not flattering. A few fixed details and this would have been a winner, but as is? Almost, not quite.

Vanessa Williams landed in this category merely due to an overblown peplum. The color, the wrap bodice, the trumpet skirt – all gorgeous, and gorgeous on her va-va-voom figure. But the stiff, overblown peplum made this dress look more like a flower costume from a third-grade play than a red carpet gown. Almost, not quite.

There were, of course, a few complete disasters. No almost about any of these gowns.

Oh, Lena Dunham. I love that you love to be eclectic, but you can do better than this fluffy, multi-layered, multi-colored monstrosity of a skirt paired with a demure private school uniform blouse. Worst of all, the outfit doesn’t even look comfortable. But your platinum locks are a knockout and your makeup is flattering and balanced. Just get a gown to match and we’ll all be happier.

Sarah Paulson often lands on my worst-dressed list, and this outfit was no exception. Although I like the concept of a slimmer gown with a floaty, ethereal overlay, the execution in this case fell flat. The double peplums on the underdress ruin the smooth silhouette that could have been, and the red dots look too much like so many bits of lint from the red carpet hovering like a slo-mo explosion. Like Lena, Sarah does redeem herself with lovely hair and makeup, at least.

And lastly, Amy Poehler chose a gown that undoubtedly looked stunning on the runway where it debuted, but it just doesn’t work on a lesser mortal. The clinginess of the fabric and the waist seaming which should be emphasizing a small waist instead calls attention to her thick (NOT FAT!) waist and hint of belly, and the way the fabric falls together below her knees is reminiscent of a wide-legged pantsuit from a production of Mamma Mia. Poor Amy could have – and should have – and has – done so much better.

But there were a few true winners who hit the nail right on the head, fashion-wise. Here are a few of my favorites.

Danielle Brooks’ stark white column with lace halter bodice and high slit was a stunner, and her choice of a circle bracelet echoing the halter was spot-on. Love the contrast of her slightly-mussed 'do, too.

Edie Falco’s cobalt blue crushed satin with wide straps and a tiny train was feminine, sexy, age-appropriate, and brought out those gorgeous eyes of hers.

William H. Macy could have used a haircut, but other than that, he and wife Felicity Huffman were the perfect pair: she in a simple but elegant black column with a square neck and the tiniest of flares at the hem, accessorizing with an adorable plaid bag and understated hair and makeup, and he in a shiny charcoal gray tux with black lapels, hand-tied tie, and impeccably polished patent shoes. Perfection.

Allison Janney was another stunner in this magenta velvet concoction. Ruched velvet often looks bulky and clumsy, but somehow the lines of this dress still manage to look smooth and sleek, with just the right amount of structure in the bodice and just the right amount of soft swing at the hem. Top the look with long wavy locks and a hint of silver bling in jewelry, bag, and shoes, and voila! This is how it’s done.

Julia Louis-Dreyfuss rarely misses on the red carpet, and this dress was no exception. A delicious reddish-coral column with tiny details like a hint of gathers at the neck, a slim belt, dart detailing, and a barely-there flare at the hem, and the simplest of hair, makeup, and jewelry made the perfect package. 

Melissa McCarthy vacillates between terrific and terrible when it comes to her red carpet looks. While this isn’t the best gown I’ve ever seen her in, it’s so much more flattering than what I’ve seen her in at times that I had to include her here. The jet black against her fair skin, bright coral lips, and new darker hair color is a knockout. And the wide sequined belt shows her curviness in a way many of her gowns don’t. It’s not easy for a large woman to pull off a full ball gown, but the soft bell shape of the skirt balanced by the square shoulders and high round neck of the bodice is perfectly proportioned and flattering. And those happy dimples – often absent when photographed in her less-successful red carpet looks – show that Melissa agrees.

Octavia Spencer can also be hit or miss on the red carpet, but when she does hit she hits perfectly, and this deep red sari-inspired gown was a definite hit. I love the way the one-shouldered chiffon drape over the bodice twists into a knot at the waist then spins out into a hip-skimming (but not clinging) skirt with a small train. Utterly lovely.

See you all at the Golden Globes in January!! 

The 2013 Emmy Awards Red Carpet Review

The word that immediately comes to mind as I think over the fashions I saw at the Emmy Awards last night is “divided.” Many of the gowns had a part that I loved but a part that I hated; or I loved it but my husband hated it; or the online reviews are split between loving and hating a gown; or I simply was torn between loving and hating a particular gown, for whatever reason. Here are some examples of the worst offenders (or are they the best? I’m still not sure).

Good Style, Bad Color

There were a number of gowns that had lovely cuts and silhouettes, but the color just did not work on the wearer. Anna Faris wore a vivid yellow gown that was a gorgeous color, but it clashed with her skin tone, making her look both sallow and pale, especially in combination with her platinum hair. I loved the full skirt, the not-too-high slit, the beautifully wrapped bodice, and the adorable lizard brooch at the back, but the color completely ruined the effect. At the opposite end of the spectrum was January Jones in a beige dress that vanished into her skin. I loved the pleated lace skirt with the solid panel at the hem and the severely structured yet flattering bodice, but the overall look was too washed out.

Top vs. Bottom

A number of gowns seemed to be suffering from identity crises, with tops and bottoms that seemed to belong to different dresses. Michele Dockery was a prime example: her red halter with giant loops at the back would have been lovely with a different color and cut of skirt, and her burgundy skirt with flat pleats in front and fuller pleats in back had interesting details like an asymmetrical hem and faux bustle construction, but it just didn’t work with the top. Likewise, Kate Mara’s white column skirt with a high slit was lovely and flattering (I even liked the pockets. Really!), but it was not in the same style as her bohemian crocheted top. It actually might have worked without the side-boobage, but as it was, it was too much of a mish-mash of slouchy and structured.

A few others had tops and bottoms that went together, but one part or the other just didn’t flatter the wearer. Amy Poehler’s trumpet skirt was a lovely silhouette for her, and I adored the charming Chinese dragons at the hips, with their tiny red tongues and fluffy feather details, but the top had oddly scooped cap sleeves and a matronly gathered collar that called for a more revealing skirt to balance it. Claire Danes, on the other hand, also had a lovely and flattering full skirt on her lace gown, but her top was a bit too revealing, appearing to be sliding down her body and successfully disguising any voluptuousness she may have. (In the interest of fairness, the open back was gorgeous even though it was also very revealing.)

One Little Detail

And then there were the gowns that would have been fabulous if the designer had left out one small detail. In the case of Kaley Cuoco, the sheer panel across her ribcage made her look very short-waisted and stumpy, whereas if the swath of color had continued evenly down her torso this would have been one of my favorite looks of the night. Julianne Hough nearly pulled off her very daring gown, and also would have been a knockout if she had opted for a short skirt under her transparent gown rather than what appears to be a pair of granny panties. Heidi Klum made a rare misstep with just a bit too much heavy-looking fabric at the neck, making her look top-heavy and disproportionate. And I could have forgiven poor Zosia Mamet’s stylist for leaving her beautiful watercolor gown hemmed to the wrong length if it hadn’t been ruined by the addition of a bizarre white bib and black pleather…what? Breastplate? Boob swath? Mini-kini? I don’t know what to call it, but I hope I never see one again. Ever.

Split Decision

There were a few gowns that those watching with me (in other words, my husband) and I disagreed on, and several that the online reviewers also disagreed on. Julie Bowen’s gown was a lovely color against her sun-kissed skin and hair, and the draping of the bodice and the fullness at the hem created a lovely silhouette, but to some eyes it looked very bottom-heavy and unwieldy. I adored Connie Britton’s teal velvet with metallic gold embroidery, but my husband thought the bodice looked unsupported and in danger of sliding out of place. Julia Louis-Dreyfus wore a shiny silver column that looked like thousands of sparkly mirrors at some angles but like bad 1960s crochet in others, and she could really have used a pop of color in a piece of jewelry or a handbag or some lip color to avoid looking washed out. And Christina Hendricks, whose figure I envy (although a figure that voluptuous has to be a nightmare to dress), looked both curvy and contained in her black dress, but somehow managed to also look a bit matronly and overly covered up. I’m still torn on whether I love or hate all four of these looks.

Clear Winners

There were quite a few gowns that hit it right on the money, though. My favorites of the night included both of the Deschanel sisters, who were charmingly color-coordinated yet each in her own unique style. More subdued Emily wore her hair in a classic updo with an elegant one-shouldered grey-blue lace column; bubblier Zooey wore her hair in soft waves with a simple ice-blue satin sheath with a deep keyhole and a high slit. Tiny Fey chose a simple trumpet-style wide-necked halter in striking cobalt that highlighted her gorgeous figure. Sarah Hyland’s deep emerald gown was covered with a layer of transparent black lace, which also served to fill in the plummeting neckline and add a hint of sweet demureness, and was gathered beautifully into a wide black satin belt. Alison Hannigan and my perennial favorite Carrie Underwood both wore deep purple gowns with similarly draped sweetheart necklines and even wore their hair in similarly sideswept loose waves, but Hannigan’s shiny satin gown was tightly fitted to the thigh then flared into a mermaid style, where Underwood’s skirt was a more traditional ballgown, wrapping its fullness into a black belt. And Sofia Vergara’s vivid red, tightly fitted to the knee, mock peplum, lace-covered gown was the most stunning look of the night, eliciting the words, “Va-va-va-voom!!!” from this reviewer.

Clear Losers

Of course, no red carpet critique would be complete without listing a few losers. By far, the two worst looks of the evening go to Robin Wright and Lena Dunham, who – sadly – are both actresses that I love, but who make frequent fashion missteps. Wright hides her lovely figure in a dull, black, high-necked, cap-sleeved column that, combined with her pale makeup and slightly sad expression, make her look like she’s on her way home from a rather formal funeral. And Lena Dunham, please fire your stylist for putting your lovely self in this awful gown. The fabric looks like a couch that’s been in a church basement since 1973, and the flat fullness of the skirt front adds 80 pounds to her figure. I actually love the cut of the bodice, especially the back with the open panel below the tie and the lovely framing of her tattoo (I’m not a big tattoo fan, but if you have them, make your clothes work with them, not against them). But the overall look is just unforgiveable. 

Fortunately, the winners far exceed the losers, and even the losers aren't as bad as they've been some years. At least this year no one was wearing this: