You Can't Just Give (It) Up: Week 7 Check-In

Last week's plateau was frustrating, but the upside was that it inspired me to not only hang in there, but to look more closely at what I was doing and to consider if I needed to change anything. Looking back over my "treats" for the week, I realized I had gotten a little lazy about trading off when I opted for a treat. It also made me think about whether I really needed those treats as often as I was taking them. So I was more stringent this week about making sure that I gave up a rough equivalent of every treat I chose, as well as simply having fewer (and smaller) treats. And boy, did it make a difference. Once I waited out that plateau, I more than made up for the week of minimal loss. 

In addition to being more careful of my tradeoffs, I was more careful about my portion sizes, which I realized had been gradually and sneakily increasing. Since I don't weigh or measure my portions, those changes aren't really reflected on my tracking chart, so it's something I have to consider carefully at every meal. It's harder for me to control when I don't have a black-and-white record in front of me to look back at, so it's very easy to slip back into old habits. 

Interestingly, after the first week or two, I haven't felt especially hungry during the day, or overly tempted to snack between meals (well, most of the time, anyway). But when I sit down for the one "real" meal I have every day, dinner with my family, it's still sooooo very tempting to pile the food on my plate. Or to go back for seconds. Or to grab that roll with butter. 

It reminds me of the saying, "Eating is the one vice you can't give up cold turkey." We all have to eat. Food, in some form and in some amount, is necessary for life. You can't just stop eating altogether, the way you can give up cigarettes, or alcohol, or gambling. You can't simply remove the temptation from your existence. And controlling something is often far more difficult than eliminating it. Think about a bag of chips: it's so much easier to not have any chips than it is to eat one and then stop. 

Once again, for me it comes down to "mindfulness": Since I'm usually the one putting food on my own plate, I have to think, as I'm serving myself, about how much food I really need. What is a reasonable portion size? How much do I need to satisfy my body, not necessarily my taste buds or my emotional desires? I have to think about how much I want the immediate satisfaction of a few extra bites vs. the long-term satisfaction of lower weight and better health. Fortunately, the more weeks go by and the more pounds I shed, the more I am realizing that long-term satisfaction in the short term. My clothes fit better right now. I like what I see in the mirror right now. My blood pressure readings are lower right now. My back pain is less right now. As I'm putting food on my plate, I can think about those right now results and remind myself of the benefits I'm already seeing. Which makes it easier, but still not exactly easy. 

The bottom line for me this week is, I think, remembering that I'm not giving up anything altogether, I'm simply limiting some things. Which reminds me to enjoy them when I'm having them, as well as encouraging me to avoid (or minimize) them when I need to. 

Quote for the Week:

 Moderation. Small helpings.
Sample a little bit of everything.
These are the secrets of happiness and good health.

-Julia Child

Focusing on the Food: Week 5 Check-In

After five weeks of changing my eating habits and just over one-third of the way to my goal weight, I've discovered one of the most important - and most pleasurable - aspects of this eating plan: It reminds me to really enjoy my food. To focus on what I'm eating. To savor each bite. 

As much as I hate the word "mindfulness," this eating plan has made me realize that I need to eat mindfully. I had never noticed how often I do other things while I eat, so instead of enjoying the snack I thought I was craving, I just shove food into my gob while focusing on something else. I'd sit on the couch with a bag of tortilla chips and eat them while I caught up on e-mail, or worked a crossword puzzle, or watched a movie, and suddenly I'd look down to find that half the bag was gone but I didn't even remember eating it. The point of tortilla chips is not nutrition, it's pleasure, and I had completely cheated myself out of the pleasure of eating them because I wasn't paying attention. Now, if I want tortilla chips, I put a small handful on a plate, close the bag and put it back in the cupboard, then I eat them one at a time, focusing on the delicious saltiness, the crunch, the flavor. I savor each chip. I enjoy eating that small serving of chips much, much more than I used to enjoy eating half the bag. 

It's the same with eating meals. The point here is a combination of nutrition and pleasure, but taking the time to consider the amount I need to eat in order to get the proper amount of nutrition reminds me that the pleasure of eating is also limited. Knowing that I don't get a second serving even if it's really delicious encourages me to enjoy the serving in front of me. So I eat more slowly in order to savor the tastes and textures, with the result that my stomach has more time to register that I'm full, so I feel more satisfied with a smaller portion. Win-win!

Are there times when I just want to shovel a giant pile something delicious into my face? Yes! Are there tough days when I want to knock back that cocktail like a western hero in a saloon with a shot of whisky? Also yes. But the pleasure is over too quickly when I do that. I'm learning that prolonging that enjoyment without adding unnecessary calories is actually more pleasurable. 

And speaking of more pleasurable, I've also reached the point where my clothes are fitting noticeably differently - and I've been able to wear some clothes that were uncomfortably snug (or unwearable) before I started this journey. I even shrunk out of a belt and into one I haven't worn in ages. I'm changing my habits primarily for health reasons (I have several medical conditions that are significantly impacted by carrying even a few extra pounds), but the side effect of looking better is a positive motivator. 

The bottom line is that there are a number of factors that are making my new habits easier to stick with. Visible results is one; more enjoyment in eating is another. Isn't it funny how eating less but eating differently can be more satisfying rather than less? Focus on your food!

Quote for the Week: The more you eat, the less flavor; the less you eat, the more flavor. 

- Chinese Proverb

10-Pound Milestone: Week 4 Check-In

I started my weight loss journey on January 7, at a nearly all-time high weight of 178.6 pounds. Four weeks in, weighing in at 168.6 pounds, I am excited to share that I have hit the 10-pound mark! I am also excited to share that my weight loss "regimen" has begun to feel natural and normal. In other words, I'm not spending all my time thinking about food.

That definitely was not true the first week or two of this diet. My inner monologue when I started usually went something like this, "There's a box of cookies over there on the kitchen table. I would like a cookie. I would REALLY like a cookie. I probably shouldn't have a cookie. But a week ago, I'd have eaten 3 cookies, so if I only eat one, I've still cut my intake by 2/3! Naw, I'll be good. But I REALLY want a cookie..." and on and on. The cravings were not just cravings, they were CRAVINGS. I mean, they were cray-cray cravings. I had to consciously and actively distract myself from food to avoid driving myself crazy. 

But I soon discovered that the less I ate those tempting treats, the less I wanted to eat them. Refusing to give in and eat that cookie the first time made it easier to not give in to the cookie the second time. The reverse was also true: when I DID give in and eat the cookie - or drink the larger glass of wine, or order the dessert or appetizer, or eat that piece of bread - it was harder not to give in the next time. Progress begets progress! The more I resisted, the less effort it took to continue resisting. Now my inner monologue is much more along the lines of, "I want a cookie. Eh, maybe tomorrow."

I have no doubt that as time goes on, there will be days when I fall off the wagon. I've had a few of those so far, although to be fair they've mainly been planned days of celebration that I have tried to compensate for on days before and after (with varying levels of success). If you look at my weight tracking, you can easily figure out my splurge days by the upward "blips" in the descending curve. And that's okay! Those splurge days remind me both how quickly the overindulgence in treats shows up on the scale and that it's easier to stick to my day-to-day eating plan when I know that I'm not completely eliminating any of my favorites from my diet. For me, planning and compensating for those treats makes skipping them the rest of the time tolerable. 

My plan from the beginning of this journey was to find a way of eating that I could maintain long-term, that would not completely eliminate my favorite foods, but that would help me develop awareness and self-control in my eating habits. I also wanted a plan that could be reasonably modified to transition from a weight-loss plan to a maintenance plan that I would be able to stick with for, well, the rest of my life. I realize that at only 4 weeks in, I can't be certain that things won't change, but as of right now, I feel like being conscious of what I'm eating (and drinking), considering "trade-offs" whenever I feel the need to splurge, and keeping an eye on my portion sizes is a system that will work for me long-term. Hopefully at some point I won't need to write down everything I eat, but it's good to know that if my weight starts to creep back up again, I have an easy way of keeping myself accountable that really works for me. 

Bottom line? It's going well, but if I start to plateau or creep back, it won't be the end of the world. I can see that those blips don't change the general trend of heading towards my goal weight. 

Quote of the week: It's not about perfect, it's about effort.
And when you bring that effort every single day,
that's when transformation happens. - Jillian Michaels 

I'm Fat: Week 1 Check-In

Guess what? 

I'm still fat. 

Yeah, the hardest part of trying to lose weight is that it takes time. I'm hoping the old adage that it takes twice as long to lose it as it did to gain it isn't true. I've gained 25 pounds over the past 5 years, and I'm really hoping that it won't take 10 years to take it off again. Fortunately, I've also read that losing a pound or even 2 every week is a reasonable goal for most people, so that's my aim. The difficult part of that goal for me is that my body weight fluctuates several pounds on a regular basis, so it's really hard to tell if I've actually lost weight or if it's just my natural fluctuations. 

I have been using an app on my phone for a while and it's really helped to make me aware of my weight creep. 

This chart shows my weight over the past 90 days. You can see that the numbers have been edging up very gradually over the whole time I've been charting. 

Looking at the past 30 days, it's going a little better, with a general creep down instead of up. So, yay? But I know I could be doing better. 

As I've been tracking my habits, I've been struggling with improving some of them. For example, drinking water. It's a lot harder than I expected to drink as much water as I'd hoped, mainly on days when I'm running around doing errands or spending the day at work rather than at home. So my plan is to keep a large water bottle in my car and in my work bag so I always have water with me. I do notice a difference in my appetite when I've drunk a lot of water before meals, so I think getting better about this will be a big help in shrinking down my portion sizes without being hungry (or hangry!).

I have done pretty well with reducing my alcohol intake. Cutting my cocktails with seltzer has been surprisingly effective, especially when I emphasize the flavors with bitters. My latest creation was a splash of whipped cream vodka, a splash of creme de cacao, cocoa bitters, a bit of cherry juice, and black cherry seltzer. Delicious and refreshing! I feel like over the course of time I can transition into less (or even no!) vodka to lower the calorie count even further. 

As I look back over my eating log for the week, I'm reasonably happy with how I did. I did notice that I sneak a cookie as a snack more often than I realized (I need to get rid of my leftover Christmas cookies - and not by eating them!), but having to write everything down did help me to decide against random mid-afternoon snacks quite often. And when I did decide to snack, it was usually a small handful of cashews or some apple slices. 

So what I am doing differently this week? One thing I plan to do is add a place in my daily log for the treats that I resisted. There were definitely times when I thought about eating something and I chose against it, or I could have chosen a higher-calorie meal and didn't. I feel like it will be a good encouragement for me to see the times that I made a healthy choice when I really wanted something else. For example, I was out shopping with my husband the other day and we stopped at Burger King for lunch, and even though I really wanted a burger and fries, I got a couple of small chicken wraps and I stole exactly 3 fries from my husband. Yay for me! And the more I resist, the easier it gets to resist. Plus, I'm learning what lower-calorie meals and snacks I find satisfying, such as an apple and a tablespoon of peanut butter instead of a peanut butter sandwich, or salmon and fresh vegetables instead of steak and mashed potatoes. Carbs - particularly bread and potatoes - are still a big part of my diet, so I'm also hoping to work more fruits and vegetables in with my proteins instead of all starches. 

What's the bottom line on my first week? It's a slow and gradual start, but it's a start. Onward and downward!

Quote for the week: Today is another chance to get it right.